You And Me Always Forever (A Series of Lumity Oneshots)

🥺 Don't Hurt Yourself, Dear 🥺

TW: Self-harm, blood

This was requested by StrangerthingsandPJO

Just do it...

Just do it...

Amity stared at herself from across the sink, her eyes not shining to herself, her mind crowding the thoughts. She pulled out the pocket knife from a pocket, gazing at the metal and thinking twice before bringing it towards her skin. She stopped for a second, staring at the scars that already formed on her arm. 

"Do I really want to?" Amity's hushed breath showed she was crying before, shaking her head at the thoughts of the pain. "No. I can do it. I'm not weak." Slowly, the purple-haired girl brought the knife towards her flesh and scraped off some skin. She winced as she continued, crimson red starting to drip out, just like the thoughts did out of her mind. 

It had been about a minute since she began, the hurt and pain going away mentally, but stinging physically. She stared into the wounds and thought, you sick monster. Yet, she also thought, it's for the better...

Continuing her cuts onto her other arm, a sound alarmed her. Like lightning, she hid the knife, as well as attempting to hide the blood. She gazed at it and felt her stomach swell up. She began to cough and throw up, ignoring the source of noise. 

It was a knock at the door. 

"Amity, mi amor, are you okay?" Luz's voice came through the wood like water through the tap. Amity brushed it off and laughed a little, trying to show she was okay.

"I'm fine-" She was interrupted by her own gagging, Luz taking this as a warning sign. Luz didn't barge in though, not without consent yet. "I'm fine!" Amity repeated, wiping away the blood and pretending to wash her hands. She had hid it well before, why couldn't she do it again?

"I'm coming in!" Luz called out, and Amity wanted to run over and shut the door. But something in her held back, allowing Luz to come in and gaze at the scene. Amity's legs felt weak and she knelt down and began to cry. "Amity?" Luz's voice was shaky, but then it turned into empathy. "Amity." She said softly, kneeling down after shutting the door behind her. 

All Amity could do was cry in Luz's presence. 

"I-It's not what you think..." Amity said through tears and hiccups, not meeting Luz's eyes like Luz did to Amity. Luz attempted to take Amity's hand, but she touched the wrong spot, causing Amity to wince and pull back abruptly. 

"What's wrong?" Luz asked soothingly, a worried frown covering her face. She took the girl's hand and rolled up her sleeve to reveal blood stains on her clothes, and cuts on her wrists. Luz was taken back, letting Amity's hand fall to the floor by accident. Amity looked away in shame with herself, only earning Luz's deep breath. "Why are you cutting yourself?" Luz hushed her voice just in case someone was outside. 

"I-I just wanna die already." Amity admitted without thinking, Luz's eyes widening in  shock and sadness, Amity's eyes widening in regret. She hid under her purple bangs, knowing she couldn't take it back. "I h-have depression, Luz, and I don't know what to do..." Luz's eyes teared up. 

"Don't cut yourself..." Luz advised, trying to understand where Amity was coming from. She scooted closer on her knees, taking Amity's hand. "My lovely beautiful princess, there is no reason to cut yourself. I can't be mad though, I remember going through this when I was thirteen..." Luz looked aside, catching Amity's attention. 

The blood seemed to be everywhere...

"No, no, no!" Luz cried out, trying to hide it and stop it. The towels seemed to become redder with the crimson, and her mom was coming closer.

"Mija are you okay?" Camila called from the kitchen, Luz trying to be as normal as possible. Camila would find out anyways, there was no stopping it...

"We can feel this was Amity, just don't hurt yourself in the process..." Luz wiped tears out of her girlfriend's eyes, Amity shyly hiding away. "It hurts me to see you like this, mi amor, but all I want you to do is..." Luz paused, trying to word it best. "Don't hurt yourself..." Luz let out, making Amity shakily nod. Luz caressed Amity's cheek to face her, placing a soft kiss on the girl's forehead. 

"I-I won't, mi amor..." Amity couldn't smile, but she would take Luz's advice and attempt not to hurt herself anymore. 

"What can we do to cheer you up?" Luz kept her soothing tone on for the rest of the minutes in the bathroom. She would stay in there until Amity wanted her to leave, or she wanted to go outside.