I Hope You Dance

Chapter 11

He stared at the frame, looking almost lost. I pursed my lips, setting the wine glasses down on the coffee table. "I um, I forgot that was there." His head snapped to me. "This is what you hid from me?" He asked holding it up. I nodded and started pulling on my thumbs, "Why didn't you tell me?" I took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling trying to keep from crying. "I wasn't ready." He furrowed his brows as I sat on the couch. "You can trust me." I shook my head. "It's not that I don't trust you, Rooster. It's just," I wiped my eyes as he came over, crouching down in front of me, resting one of his hands on my knee as the other held the frame. 

"I told Phoenix that if I started telling people, then they would have their own assumptions about it. I just wanted to keep it to myself for a little while longer." He licked his lips. "Phoenix knows?" I nodded. "She was there when they told me." I carefully took the frame from him, staring at it. "This was the entire reason I decided to leave. I couldn't raise a baby with him, not in that environment. Aaron had locked up all the funds, I only had cash he would give me and I was out." He moved to sit behind me on the couch, wrapping his arms around my waist, kissing the back of my head. "I called my mom and she bought the tests and I went to her house to take them. I spilled everything to her and my dad. From me and you, to Aaron holding you against me, I sang like a cicada in summertime. When I told dad I was leaving, I asked him to do something, anything to keep you safe and I guess shipping you out was the best bet. I got Phoenix's number from mom and called her as soon as I got home, I told her I was leaving and why. She had a week of deployment left and she told me to go to San Francisco, I went to get my documents from the safe and I realized he changed the code."

I took a deep breath to keep from choking up. "I realized he took out a ten million dollar life insurance policy on me, he had pushed me down the staircase the day before which I caught myself. When I left his office he was in the hallway. I dropped my phone when he grabbed me and I yelled for Phoenix to call my mama. He shoved me into his car and if I hadn't smacked my head on the frame then I would've climbed back out. We were just yelling at each other the whole time. He was taking us up the mountain and he drove us right off. I managed to pull my seatbelt around me before we hit the ground. We slid down the side of the mountain until we hit a downed tree, which made us flip multiple times before we landed upside down."

I wiped my cheeks as I took a deep breath and looked back to him, he almost looked dead inside as tears ran down his blank face. "Oh, roo." I turned and sat sideways in his lap, kissing his cheek as I wrapped my arm around him. "I was in a medically induced coma for a week and when I woke up, Phoenix was an absolute wreck next to my bed. The doctor told me all my injuries, and Phoenix held me when he told me I had a placental abruption." I saw his brows furrow slightly, and his lip twitch. "My placenta separated from my uterus and my baby didn't survive." I choked on my words, leaning into his neck as I started breaking down. "They had to do a D & C while I was in my coma because my body couldn't do it itself." I sobbed as he pulled me closer. 

"It's not fair." I felt his lips on my head. "I hate him, I wish he had died in that crash. He doesn't deserve to live after he took everything from me!" I pushed off him, breathing heavily. "Mags." I shook my head. "Why me? Huh?" I threw my hands out. "Do I not deserve to be fucking happy?! Is that it?!" I grabbed one of the wine glasses, launching it at the wall in front of me, wine going everywhere. "I have spent, the last twelve years in misery because of him!" I screamed out, finally letting everything out. "He took everything! My happiness, my sanity, my independence! Was it not fucking enough?! NO! HE HAD TO GO AND TAKE MY FUCKING WILL TO LIVE-" My tears blurred my sight as I grabbed something else from the coffee table, holding it behind my head, ready to launch it. "AND MY BABY!" 

"Caila!" Rooster grabbed me, holding my waist and my hand that was behind me. "Honey, look." He carefully lowered my hand so I could see what I had. "Don't do that to yourself." He said as the frame came into my view. Sobs wracking my body as I realized, I almost broke it. "Come on." He said picking me up, carrying me upstairs to my room. He laid me on the bed as he pulled back the covers, shifting me under them as I sobbed, hardly being able to breathe. He crouched down next to me, grabbing my hand in both of his and kissing it. "I'm going to clean up downstairs and put the frame back, I will be right back to come sleep with you okay?" I inhaled deeply as I nodded.