Teacher's Pet

8

Derek Shepherd

A few weeks of school have gone by now. Yet I still can't wrap my head around that Meredith's my student.

I thought she looked young when we first met, but I thought she was much more mature than an 18 year old would be. I don't know why it didn't hit me that she could still be in high school. Maybe I just didn't wanna see it, cause I felt so attracted to her.

I still am attracted to her.

But I can't. I absolutely can't act on my attraction to her. It's wrong. Awfully wrong.

So why does it feel so awfully right every time I see her?

I was hoping she'd wanna transfer from my class. Partly cause I didn't want her to be uncomfortable, but mainly for my own sake. She was right about what she said on the first day. It's a temptation having to see her in my class as often as I do.

At first I convinced myself that I could handle it, but it gets harder for each passing day. I'm afraid I'm gonna give in soon. There is this magnetic pull between the two of us. I don't know if she feels it but I definitely do.

I'm starting to think it was a bad idea I suggested we could be friends. Since I read her poetry for the first time, we've been meeting up at the same place almost every single day. I read her poems, both new and old ones and we discuss them together.

The problem isn't that I'm reading her work, I am her English teacher after all.

No the problem is how much I look forward to get off work every single day, cause I know that I'll get to be with her after. I teach classes, attend meetings, eat lunch, grade papers and prepare lessons, all while I'm secretly counting down the hours and minutes 'till I get off.

I think about her every waking minute and dream about her every single night.

I wish I didn't feel this way about her, but I do. And you can't really blame me. She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my entire life. Her long honey blonde hair.. Her hazel green eyes.. Her soft plump lips.. Her tiny petite figure.. Her gorgeous, gorgeous face.. Her beauty is just incomparable to any other woman.

Maybe it would've been better if she had these looks, but a bad personality. Then it would've been easier not to like her. Because right now, she's impossible not to like. Everything about her amazes me. She's smart, she's funny, she's kind, she's caring, and she has this wonderful giggle-sound she makes.

When Meredith walks into a room, the whole place lights up, and she doesn't even know it. I've noticed more and more how little she thinks of herself and it absolutely breaks my heart.

~ ~ ~

It's a Thursday afternoon. We're sitting on our usual spot underneath the trees, writing in silence. I've been looking down at my papers for a while.

"Derek?" she says all of a sudden. I look up.

"Have you ever had a girlfriend?"

I'm taken by surprise by her question. "Uhm yeah.." I answer slowly.

She nods and looks down again. I do the same. A couple seconds pass.

"Derek?" she says again.

"Yes?"

"How old are you?"

"You don't know by now?"

She shakes her head.

"25."

"Ok." She looks down again but I notice her smirking slightly to herself.

I try writing yet again.

"Derek?"

I chuckle and look up. "Yes Meredith?"

"Have you ever been in love?"

My smile fades and I swallow a nervous lump in my throat. I don't know what to say to her. "Yes.. yes I think so.."

"Oh. With your old girlfriend you mean?"

No. I want to say, but I stay silent. We keep looking at each other.

"Have you ever been in love Meredith?"

She stares at me like a scared deer in the forest, not expecting to get the same question back.

"I- I don't know- I'm sorry I have to go." she rambles quickly and disappears before I've had time to say another word.

I look over at place she sat just seconds ago and notice she forgot her notebook.

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