The Unspoken Vow

Chapter Twenty

Nyah

        Ivan hasn't come home for over a week now and as much as I worried about him, I was also beginning to feel guilty. He hasn't answered any of my texts or calls and I kept wondering to myself if he was angry with me.
        It was my father's doing that caused Eliana to need therapy. It was him that caused all of these problems and as bad as it sounds, I didn't feel bad that I felt happy he was dead. He deserved every bad thing that happened to him and that was that.
        I thought back to what happened; the anger in Ivan's eyes, his actions, it was all so new that he seemed like a brand new person.
        After my father died, they kept his body and put it in my parents house where my mother found it and killed herself at the sight.
        They were my parents, that enough was true, but all of my life they didn't act like it. Before now, I used to think that the mafia life wasn't for me. I cared too much about people, I was too sensitive, but with my parents tragic deaths, I realized that I fit right in, I couldn't bring myself to mourn them.
        The door slammed open and my heart skipped a beat as he walked in, his jaw clenched and his brows furrowed.
        I haven't seen him for an entire week and seeing him now, his eyes dark and full of anger, I wanted nothing more than to hold him, turn back time, bring us back to our world and prevent any of this mess from happening.
        "Ivan," I muttered walking towards him and when his attention went to me, he seemed surprised to see me. His furrowed brows relaxing, his tense shoulders dropping.
        "What are-  you're still here?"
         I frowned. "Why wouldn't I be here?"
        "Your parents are dead. You married me to escape them, remember? If you want to leave you're free to do so."
      "I don't- I don't want to leave," I puffed out a breath. "After all this time you still believe that? Sure, I married you because I wanted to escape the abuse-"
        "He's gone, there's no reason for you to stay."
        Pain was all I could feel from his words. Tears streamed down my face. Did he have to be so blunt?
        "Don't tell me that this entire time, everything that went down between us meant nothing to you..." I said, he stayed silent, not meeting my eyes. "Is that it, then? You just fuck me when you want, make me feel like I'm your world then tell me to fuck off?" I asked, frustrated with myself for thinking I meant something to him.
        He looked shocked, his eyes wide at what I said and I wanted to take it back.
        He stepped forward, grabbed me by the throat and kissed me hard, the sudden feel of his skin on mine sending a jolt of need  and longing through me.
        He pulled back before I had enough and looked me in the eyes, his gorgeous blue ones as clear and as angry as I've ever seen them. "If I knew I was good for you, I would stop at nothing to get you to stay. You are my fucking world, Nyah, my entire being revolves around you but I couldn't live with myself knowing that I can't be the man you need. Do you understand me?" He asked, letting go. "But no matter how much I fucking care about you, what your father did is unacceptable."
        My eyes widened in shock, my heart beating fast. "Are you blaming me for what he did?"
       "You knew your father did shit like that,"
       "What my father did has nothing to do with me. And so what if I fucking knew? What would that change? He still would've done what he did!"
        I couldn't for the life of me believe that the man I have fallen in love with was blaming me for something I had nothing to do with. Anger rose and burst through me until I had no control over myself or my words anymore.
        "You know what? Fuck you, you're as heartless as everyone says you are. And you're right, you aren't good enough for me. Never was, never will be." I screamed at him and he stood there, shocked at my words and I was so angry, so full of rage that it didn't register to me every hurtful thing that I just uttered.
        "I'll get a house ready for you," he said, completely disregarding what I just said to him, his face becoming emotionless, his eyes dark. "But you can't stay, not here, not with me." he said, his voice low and lethal, then walked back out the door.
        Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
       Why did anger have to make you say and do such stupid things? I didn't mean it, didn't mean any of what I said to him. And he probably didn't mean it either, he probably didn't truly blame me, he couldn't. Ivan wouldn't do that.
       I ran to the door but when I opened it, his car was already gone and I could do nothing but stare at the empty driveway.
      But this is not how it ends. This isn't our story. If I had to learn all the damn languages he spoke to let him know he's the one for me I'll fucking do it. I just hoped he loved me enough to listen.