Her Last Year

Chapter 3

I stand outside the door for so long I lose track of time. What good reason do I have to come back here? None. But I have to because this is "home". At least according to the state it is,
I take a deep breath before opening the door and closing it behind me. I do this all in one fluid motion so I don't have time to back out. Both mom and my step dad are sitting on the couch looking pissed. Like they are simmering in their own fury. I don't think I've ever seen them this mad honestly. "Where the hell have you been?" My mom asks through gritted teeth. I just look at her.
"None of your business." I say calmly. My stepdad stands and takes a step towards me. My heart rate speeds up and I know what's coming next and don't bother to dodge it. Slap! My face stings and I feel blood running down my face from where his nails dug in.
"It is and will continue to be our business as long as you live under this roof." He says menacingly. I want to scream and yell at him and hit him back but I know all that will do is provoke the situation. I take deep breaths calming myself and don't break eye contact with him once.
"I went out." I say and run up the stairs to my room. I hear them on my tail so I slam my door, lock it, and drag a chair to place under the door knob. I close my eyes and pray that I'm safe in here. I search my pockets for my phone and find it, typing in a number and praying he'll answer. It rings three times before I hear is voice.
"Hello?" He says and I can hear the worry in his tone. Outside my door I can hear my parents banging on it and throwing things trying to get it open. "Are you safe?" He asks and I choke down a sob. He must hear because he sighs and I can almost feel his anger. "I'm coming over. Stay right where you are."
I tell him my address and sit in my closet with the door closed and the light off, hugging my phone to my chest. I refuse to cry, I've cried so much already and it's not a common thing. I sit in my closet listening to the banging on the door and pretend they are drumbeats instead of pain. I hear my window slide open and open the door to my closet a crack. Noah sees the movement and opens it the rest of the way, sliding it shut behind him and sliding in next to me. I close my eyes and fall into him, his arms immediately going around me. The banging gets louder and stops for a second before it stops.
"DON'T THINK THIS IS OVER YOUNG LADY! AS SOON AS I GET IN HERE YOU'RE DEAD." He says it through gritted teeth and I honestly consider whether he's serious or not. I hear his steps recede and let the breath fall from my mouth. They get louder again and I start to shake. What now? I hear some clicking and realize he's trying to pick the-CLICK-lock. The door knob rattles and while it is now unlocked, the chair still keeps him from opening the door. I sigh in relief, but the banging continues and I know what is coming next. I hear him move back and then his foot makes contact with the door. I hear the wood splinter and know that after two more of these, I'm done for.
Noah takes my hand and I know he feels my fear. As much as I want him here with me, he can't see this. "Get out of here before they break down the door. You'll be safe. Please just go." He shakes his head no. "Please, Noah. They'll hurt you too. You don't deserve this. I'll call you after to let you know I'm okay." He looks me directly in the eye and I break quickly, not wanting to see what I know is there. His hand finds my chin and I see the steel in his eyes. He isn't going to leave me no matter what I tell him. "Brace yourself." I say as the door comes down.
I place a hand over my mouth, too afraid to breathe. The chair is thrown against a while and I hear him roar. "Where the hell is she?!" I hear my mom say something about the window. "Is she really that stupid? She'll get it worse as soon as she gets back." A whimper claws its way out of my throat and Noah quickly places both hands over my mouth. The footsteps come closer and the closet door is thrown open. Noah's arms go around me but he isn't as strong and I'm yanked out of them. Noah gets to his feet behind me but doesn't try and grab me.
I'm being held by my arms and my feet aren't touching the ground. I hear a whimper and know it must have come from me. The look on my step dad's face is purely murderous. "What did I say about running, hiding, and fighting?" I look down, praying for this to end. "It will only make things word for you. And what do you do? You run, hide and fight me." He releases me and I land on my feet only to be knocked down by a heavy blow to my jaw. Crack. I clench my jaw to keep from making a noise as he kicks me in the stomach.
Noah runs at him but is thrown backwards, into the wall behind me. Crunch. I pray he's okay and close my eyes, praying for my body to go numb. Eventually it does and the tears running down my face slow. When he stops kicking me and I'm close to passing out, he leaves with my mother on his tail. How could she watch him beat me? How could she let him hurt Noah? Noah! I force myself into a sitting position even though my entire body protests. I move over to where he's slumped against the wall and pull him into my arms. Black spots cover my vision but I manage to find my phone and blink them away long enough to call 9-1-1.
***
When I wake up, my parents are being cuffed and I'm on a stretcher about to be lifted into an ambulance. I search frantically for Noah and find him being lifted into the ambulance next to mine. He's still out. I feel panic rise but don't have time to ask anyone anything due to the black spots clouding my vision once again. It isn't long before I'm out, too.
***
This happens several times. Twice when I was in the ambulance, once when they were bringing me up to my room, once when I got to my room, when they were switching rooms, and 3 times since then. Now I'm crossing my fingers and toes that in done sleeping. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm tired of sleeping. Now I want to see Noah.
The nurses left a while ago and assuming they won't be back anytime soon, I sneak out of my room. My body protests with every step I take but I ignore it. I need to know he's okay. I look in each room on my floor and find he isn't here. I make my way to the elevators and go down a floor, knowing they won't recognize me there. I walk over to the nurse's station. "What room is Noah Sana in?" I ask. The nurse looks me up and down and I can't help but feel vulnerable.
"Are you a family member?" She asks and my heart rate speeds up. Should I lie? I nod my head and she types his name into the computer. "221. Ask the doctor before entering the room though. He may not be in good enough condition for visitors." I nod even though my stomach is churning at the thought. Room 221 is located in the ICU. I turn down the hall and walk slowly to the ICU, dreading each step. What kind of state is he in? This is all my fault.
Before I know it I'm standing outside the automated doors that will lead me to him. I take a deep breath and press the button, opening the doors before stepping through. I pay attention to the numbers on the wall, guiding me closer and closer to him. Soon, I'm standing outside his room and my heart is in my throat. A doctor comes by and I wave my hand catching his attention. "Dr. McCash, is he able to have visitors? I'm his sister." He looks at me for a moment and I'm so sure he's going to tell me no but instead he opens to door for me, allowing me to enter in front of him. I run over to his side and take his hand in mine as I sit in the chair next to his bed. He is still asleep.
"Has he woken up at all?" I ask, afraid to know the answer.
"No. If he doesn't wake any time between now and noon tomorrow, that is when we worry." I nod. It's only been a few hours. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I pray with all my might that he wakes up before I lay my dad down next to his hand which is still in mine.
"Is it okay if I stay in here tonight?" I ask, not wanting to leave him alone.
"I'm sure your nurses are worried sick. You'd better get back to your room. I've notified his mother and she was on her way when I talked to her so she won't be alone. She said she would also stop my your room to check on you." I smile at how sweet she is and thank him before leaving the room. I turn around once more to look at him before walking back the way I came. I make it to my room and find 5 nurses running in and out frantically. Oops.
I walk in and climb into bed, tired from the long day. I bring my blanket up to my chin and my nurse comes running in. She starts barking at me about how I'm not supposed to leave my room but I tune her out. I laugh because when I do that, she sounds like a dog. I close my heavy eyelids and try to imagine a dance in my head. I make a mental note to myself that whenever I get the chance, I need to go to the studio. It's been so long since I've danced. Since I've gotten lost in the music and just let go. I make up a routine in my head and fall asleep to the music playing, singing me softly to sleep.
***
I wake up the next morning and slowly slide out of bed. Noah's mother is sitting in the chair next to my bed fast asleep. I smile. I shake her gently and watch as she becomes aware of her surroundings. Her eyes go wide as they settle on my face and she reaches her hand to stroke a sore spot. I wince and she smiles at me sadly. I've avoided looking in mirrors any time I've been in a bathroom. I don't even want to imagine what I look like.
"Are you ready to go see your son?" I ask and she smiles nodding. We clasp hands and walk through the hallways together. She has been more motherly to me than my own mom has in so long. Probably my whole life honestly. I smile, looking down at our hands and noticing how comfortable I am around her. We make it to his room and walk in together. I squeeze her hand knowing that we're both nervous. I look over at him and he meets my eyes as a smile crosses his face. He's awake. I check the time and it is 9:30. He's awake. Noah's awake.
I run to his side and he immediately moved over, patting the spot beside him. I smile and scoot in as he pulls his blanket over me. I look up at him and see the bandage around his head. It brings tears to my eyes and I don't bother to wipe them away as they fall. "This is all my fault. I'm so sorry." I start to sob and once I start I can't stop. Before I know it, I'm a full on sobbing mess. He holds me as I let it out and kisses my head, holding my hands in his.
"It is not your fault. I am happy I was able to be there. What they did to you in that house is unacceptable and horrendous. I'm sorry I couldn't keep them from hurting you." I smile at him sadly and shake my head.
"You haven't even seen the worst of it." I say, rolling up my sleeves. Beyond the scars on my arms there are healed cigarette burns. His eyes widen and his mother walks over, sitting on the side of the bed by my feet. She takes my right arm and runs her hand over all the scars as Noah does the same with my left. I close my eyes as the memories resurface.
Noah squeezes my hand and I open my eyes. "Don't go there." He says and I nod. I stare into his ocean blue eyes, wanting to get lost in them. Before I can though he cleats his throat. "Actually, we have a proposition for you." I nod, telling him to go on. "My mom and I would like to know if you would like to come live with us. Your parents want to hand you over to the state since you aren't quite 18 and my mother and I would feel safer if she adopted you and you lived with us. There is plenty of room and you only have another year until you graduate. I know it's a lot to think about so take your time. Although not too much because a case worker has already tried to get in contact with you." He stops, allowing me to process what he's said. Is it even a question? No.
"Of course. I would love to be a part of your family. I'll get a job to help out and I'll pick up chores for around the house. I'll do my own laundry and help with grocery shopping. I won't be a burden I promise." His mother smiles and I know things will be much better from now on.
"Since you're going to be living under my roof, there are a few rules that I'll explain when we get home. Now you can call me either Mom, or Lindy. Either work for me." I smile at her kindness and squeeze Noah's hand.
"I honestly am so grateful for the two of you. Words cannot explain my gratitude. Thank you both so much." I smile through happy tears and laugh. I laugh because I'm happy. I laugh because things are better than they have been in a long time. I laugh because life is giving me a break. And I laugh because I know despite everything, I am going to be alright.
***
And in the end, I was. Noah and Lindy saved me one day at a time. And I'm not going to lie and say it was easy or that it happened quickly because it wasn't and it didn't. It took a lot of work, but I am a better person for it. Lindy and Noah gave me an opportunity to start over. To be happy. And that is something I will never stop being thankful for. They gave me something I never thought was within my reach. I just wish things had ended up differently.