A Final Letter To You, My Love

Memory 2

I woke up restless, yearning to see you again, to confirm that you weren't a figment of my imagination, someone I hadn't created to help me get through this god forsaken school year.

At first I truly did doubt your existence, I made up all sorts excuses as to why you wouldn't be real, and how no one could ever make me feel the way you did, how no one could ever care about me, let alone consider me a friend. You proved me wrong, you showed up, right in front of me, and spoke to me, not in a way that you'd speak to someone who you just met, you spoke to me in a way that felt as if id known you my whole life.... once again another unfamiliar feeling arose in me.

All you said was a simple "hey, how'd you sleep", but those four words, those simple four words had made my day, and it was just beginning

We didn't speak much that day, minus that morning situation, which I was still constantly reminding myself, we met again at lunch, you sat next to me, and you once again spoke to me in that same tone you spoke earlier, the tone I missed so dearly, even though it only last been spoken hours ago.

The sound of your voice was comforting, I hadn't known you for more than, maybe, 14 hours at the time, yet it brought me such a sense of nostalgia.

Throughout the day, I was running in to you, I wasn't sure if it was my intention to or not, but I was glad I had, I remember that day, you and I ended up sitting in the library discussing our favourite works, I told you I loved the book crime and punishment, you told me you loved to kill a mockingbird, I felt that suited you quite well, you seemed to be one to enjoy classic literature, our conversations were interesting yet still so much fun. As I said goodbye to you, whilst leaving the library, you pulled me into a hug and told me to be safe, you handed me a note that read "hey mackerel, today was fun, never saw you as the nerdy type but I like that side of you, id like to see it more often. Be safe- Chuuya." You never knew this, but I treasured that note, I still have it stored in my bed side draw to remind me of the first person to ever care about me.

That night I couldn't stop dreaming about how I wanted to see you, to hold you, to keep you safe, whether I could do that... I didn't know, but what I did know is; I was falling for a boy I never expected to fall for, I the 'boy' who never knew feelings of romance or love, or even what it felt like to be cared dearly for by someone, was falling for the boy who was the complete opposite of myself. I knew my love would never be returned, and that bothered me slightly, but I was used to loneliness and never being a choice in someone's book. All I wanted was for you to be happy. And in the end my leaving caused you the most happiness.