looking back and noticing all the
little things I didn't see then.
BILLIE -05 november 2022
"where are you taking me?" I ask kaiya, we've been on the road for quite some time now, although i don't mind.
"be patient, I have something for you in the back" she tells me pointing, "underneath my blanket there, can you get that book for me please" I nod unbuckling my seatbelt to reach for the book before taking a seat again.
i put on my seatbelt going to open the book, "that's a folder of us, all pictures we took back then and it's kind of cute, I never got to give it to you but then I just made it into a photo book.. for myself mostly" she shrugs.
i pout turning a page, there is a picture of little us, the day we became friends at school. "you're going to make me cry already" I tell her hugging the book to my chest.
"you don't have to look through it now, I just wanted to give it to you but we might have to share it because I still look back at it" she tells me.
"that's cute" I pout looking through the pictures, "im sorry but you're not getting this back" she laughs a bit and shrugs.
the book was filled with pictures of us, some are just me and some are little notes we gave to each other. "oh god" I mutter closing it when I feel myself about to cry.
"ay no crying until ive won you a teddy bear" she says cupping my face, I now notice that she's parked at a parking of a fair making me smile.
"look" she takes the book and pages through it to find a picture of me holding a teddy bear, that was our very first date, which was at a fair.
"let's go recreate that moment yeah?" I almost wanted to squeal as I pull her closer to hug her.
"this is about to be the best second-first date ever" I grin, she chuckles kissing my cheek before pulling back to get out and she comes to get my door.
she puts her hair in a low bun and out a beanie on before pulling her hoodie on, "come on baby" she smiles putting her hand out for me, i scrunch up my nose putting my hand in hers.
i intertwine our fingers as we go get our hands, she pulls out her wallet to pay but she keeps my hand in hers, which made me blush.
"okay, where did we go first last time?" she asks looking around.
"I have no clue but I know that we got froyo and ate it on the Ferris wheel at the end of the night" I smile at the memory, it was also our first tongue kiss.
before it was just innocent pecks.
"how about we start here and make our way around?" she asks looking at me, I give her an nod and she gives my hand a squeeze while taking us to the nearest stall.
we spent the night going around stall to stall and winning prizes, she had buy a bag to put everything in since it was getting too much for our arms and we still wanted to hold hands.
"do you want to go get something to eat before we get the froyo? it's almost 3am" she says showing me her lock screen.
"I could really use some food" she nods letting go of my hand to wrap her arm around my shoulders, I wrap my arm around her waist as we walk to the food stalls.
"what do you want baby?" she asks looking around.
"fries and a soda" she nods taking me to the stall, she orders extra large fries and two sodas before paying and stands aside.
"how are you doing? next time I will take you to something fancier, I just wanted to sort of recreated this date" she tells me.
"don't even" I point at her, "I loved this dare, this has been the best date I've been on and the fact that we're recreating it makes it even more special" I tell her as I wrap my arms around her waist.
she smiles putting her hands on my waist as I look up at her with my chin on her chest, "im glad you enjoyed it" she mutters making me smile.
her eyes search mine for a bit before trialing around my face making me scrunch up my nose, "fuck you're adorable" she mutters leaning down to kiss my forehead and her order gets called.
she gets us the food before taking a seat on a bench making me sit on her leg, "let's eat" I laugh a bit as she gives me the small fork to eat, I take a bite of the chips.
i pick some on the fork and put it in front of her mouth making her smile and open her mouth to eat it, I go back and forth feeding her and myself.
"im getting sleepy now that ive eaten" she laughs lowly taking the empty plastic container into the trash.
"let's get you in the ferris wheel" I get off her lap and she takes us to the wheel, she pays up for the ride before we get in.
"is this the time where I get to kiss you because I've honestly been so impatient all night" she says as we get to the top making me laugh, I shake my head looking over at her.
"I don't think so"
"no? why not?" she asks putting an arm around my shoulders.
"because kaiya" I sigh, "I want to kiss you when im not involved with anyone else" I tell her as lean against her side.
"I do want to kiss you, I really do but I don't think you want me to kiss you while you're not the only one" she nods understandingly.
"what's the deal with this person of yours anyways? what's going on there?" her questions make me laugh a bit.
"uhm.. we're just trying it out I guess, at some point we wanted different things but we talked about meeting halfway and to be honest im not quite sure where that conversation ended" I shrug.
"but do you like her? them?"
"her* and I guess, my head has really been turned but I don't want to just leave someone in the dust like that especially when I don't even know what our agreement was" she hums tucking hair behind my ear.
"well I don't like her" she shrugs making me laugh, "why?"
"not only are your confused with where you stand with her but she also is in the mix and really ruining my chances here" she says honestly kissing the side of my head.
"I would say your chances are pretty high" I tell her honestly.
"yeah?"
"mmh" she smiles tilting my head up to place a kiss on the corner of my lips making my eyes flutter for that second.
