just like how she did it.
BILLIE - 18 november 2022
"oh i got in-touch with kaiya again" I tell my mom as she cooks.
"I know honey, she came by to see me yesterday and she told me you both have seen each other a few times" she tells me with a gentle smile.
"what's going on? I thought you would be happier about this?" she closes her pot to give me her attention.
"I am, it's just there might be some feelings resurfacing and we can't exactly be together at the moment" I shrug playing with my straw.
"why not?"
"willow. we're figuring stuff out together and she felt as if kaiya was getting in the middle of that and she was kind of but.. I don't know" I pout a bit thinking about it.
"did you and willow break up?"
"we never dated, that's what we're trying to figure out" my mom's face switches a bit before she lets out a sigh.
"okay but you've been.. involved with willow for almost a year now, don't you think if she was serious about you, she would have made it official by now?" she asks moving along to her spice cabinet.
that is true.
"it's just.. she's making some changes before we get together" I try to defend her.
"how long has she been making these changes? are you seeing any change?" my mom asks raising an eyebrow.
"what's with all the questions? is this because you like kaiya more?" I chuckle a bit.
"partly but because I know whatever you and willow have is not worth it. she's a lovely girl but come on billie, do you even have feelings for her?"
"of course I do" I immediately answer.
"or is it because she looks like kaiya when you both used to date?" she turns her back to me to attend her pots making me roll my eyes.
I'll admit that the first time I saw willow, she immediately reminded me of kaiya but the more I got to know her, I started to like her.
"im just saying baby, kaiya is back now and wants to give herself to you. take this opportunity because we all know there will always be something there between you two or go and be with willow, where I don't think will get you guys far" she tell me.
i sigh laying my head on the counter, "I really do want to be with kaiya but I can't hurt willow" I groan.
"but you're only hurting yourself by not giving things a chance with kaiya, do you think it will last with willow? and is there any trust there?" she switches off her stove to learn against the counter.
"I don't know, I guess I never really cared for what happens between me and willow" a big part of me also knew it was temporary.
"is it maybe because whatever you do won't hurt because there are no feelings towards her?"
"why?" I groan, "why do you have to make me second guess myself so much" I huff.
"I just don't want you to let a good thing go, I love kaiya for you" she tells me kissing my forehead, I let out a huff laying on the counter.
