cant argue with the customers ig
yall down bad though
but in all seriousness this is ACTUAL NSFW HEADCANNONS so if you're just here for funny wholesome cute awww look at y/n and F they're cuddling omg aww thats so cute stuff skip this
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- he has the average dick size (7-8 inches) so u don't gotta worry about it not fitting cuz im not the type of people to give hot men big 13 inchers (yes i have seen people give fictional characters dicks bigger than foot long subway sandwiches)
- hes into bdsm though 💀 hope you like mouth gags
- but he wont strap you down like that if you don't want him too, hes chill like that
- He also likes degradation but he wont do that either if you don't want him too.
- He will 100% talk with you about how you wanna do it first, he'll do whatever you want him to do.
- He loves dominating but will become a blushing mess the second you get on top of him
- he is still awkward about it and doesn't wanna hurt you during it, he thinks you'll leave him if he does
- he will obey everything you say.
- he isn't like those boys that stop whenever they know their lady is almost finished, he may even go harder with your permission 😈
- but if you want him to pause just to make it last longer he gladly will, he wants it to last too
- he can last about 2 rounds but after the second one hes out cold. Good luck sleeping with a whole man collapsed on your chest ig
- he loves boobs he will play with your boobs the entire time no matter what size they are he loves your boobs.
- and if you're a man he will still caress the man titties he does not care
- he's willing to do any position you want but he absolutely LOVES doggystyle. Not only does he love holding onto your hips but neither of you have to worry about the other one seeing each others face just in case either of you make that one super embarrassing moaning face like 😩 its just the perfect position for him (bonus points if you don't want him seeing your face either)
- he will do any aftercare you want but he usually helps you take a shower (yes he goes in the shower with you) and gives you snacks after (he will fall asleep as soon as he is done taking care of you)
- he is super insecure about the other letters knowing about you two doing it so you better keep that mouth zipped up
- if it's the epilogue (they are grown up now they are not children like they were in the epilogue) and N walks in on you get ready for atleast 5 OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY and ILL LEAVE YOU ALONE NOW's from him before he actually leaves you two alone knowing damn well he ruined the moment
- N feels guilty for walking in on you guys and is still apologizing after
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lord haf mercy
what kind of god gave me the power to type unholy stuff like this. Every day i stray further from God and this is why
are yall happy now because you're not getting any smutshots this is all im feeding you horny beasts
YOU ARE READING
alphabet lore x reader oneshots
Fanficsince my satire fanfic got some attention im making this. if anyone requests O or L im actually killing myself 💀 /nsrs