Another Chance

Adoption

That afternoon, during rehearsal, Loki did something he rarely did: let things go.

It wasn't the first time he had to exercise his patience, of course. He had always been noted for his ability to put long-term plans into action, and being able to wait for things to unfold on their own. However, leave a discussion halfway? No, that had rarely been an option. The only one who had been able to force him to that was Odin, more out of fear of reprisals for forcing the conversation than out of respect or desire.

Still, when Loki saw Sylvie that afternoon at the theater, he kept his distance.

He resisted the urge to march over to where the girl was talking to the play's director. He did so because even in the distance he saw her tense up and very obviously avoid looking in his direction. Loki rubbed his shoulder, remembering the pressure of her boot, and the anger in her words. He didn't want to be dismembered, thank you.

But it wasn't just the threat that made him stop. He did it because, even if Sylvie relented and let herself be dragged into a corner or out of the building, he didn't even know what to say to her. How could he justify getting into her mind without knowing how to control the spell, even if it had been in self-defense? Maybe he hadn't done her permanent damage (or so he hoped), but he might have. Even if seeing her memories had only been retribution for the invasion she had made, the risk he had subjected them both to was more than he intended. Losing himself in her mind, leaving her in a coma, erasing some memory of her... The very idea made him feel sick.

Apologizing wasn't something he did often either.

So instead of going towards her, Loki walked past the group of actors who had gathered at the top of the stage.

He was going to give Sylvie time. And above all, he was going to give himself time to find the words that seemed to have fled him.

By the end of rehearsal, which had gone better than he expected, he still couldn't find a way to apologize. Not even Sigyn's visit and her eternal optimism managed to completely remove the feeling of guilt that had nested inside him.

Sigyn had warned him of the possibility of seeing Thor the next morning, and yet he couldn't help but tense when he heard his voice. There, in the greenhouse. The place that for the last few weeks had been a kind of safe space. First Jane, and now Thor.

"Brother!" Thor exclaimed as soon as he saw it.

Loki gave Sigyn a somewhat irritated look. He had been a little annoyed that she told Thor where he spent his mornings. It wasn't even remotely a secret, after all, the greenhouse was a passing place, but the way of telling him had practically been an invitation. And the last thing he wanted, on this day or any other day, was to start it with an argument with Thor.

"Thor," he greeted, getting up from the bench.

He had too many memories of Thor using his fists when a conversation didn't go the way he wanted to feel comfortable sitting across from him. So he stood up, taking a few steps away from Sigyn, and prepared himself, either for a fight or for one of Thor's rib-crushing hugs.

But his brother stopped a few feet from them and put his hands in the pockets of the sweatshirt he was wearing. He smiled, but it wasn't his usual smile. Loki took a second to recognize what was weird: Thor was uncomfortable. Nervous, he dare say, even. Loki narrowed his eyes, automatically defensive.

"What happened?"

Thor blinked, surprised. His gaze, even more nervous, shifted from Loki to Sigyn. Loki didn't turn to look at her, even though he wanted to. Looking away from Thor used to not be a good idea.

"Oh. Oh, yes," she said in the least casual way possible. "I... I'm going to go to the other side."

Sigyn walked past him and picked up the sprinkler she had filled before sitting down to breakfast with him. Thor followed her with his eyes, but Loki didn't take his eyes off his brother's face. So he saw the way his expression softened as he looked at her, and a horrible weight settled in her stomach.