✔ 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐉𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐧 𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐧 | 𝐏 𝐉 𝐌

23. 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐌𝐒

;edited;

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Myrah POV

* [ large time skips, you'll understand as you read further ]

Days flew as the little twig grew a bud, blooming into a wildflower that now has shed its leaves one by one, the seasons changed its dyes of petals, and after warm autumn, there are no more petals to paint except for the pristine white snow.

There is no more deadly poison than loneliness and hell knows it.

Ironically, I who rely on none, am now in severe need of someone, anyone, and everyone.

Mood swings? Possible.

For me? Unusual. But not much since I like to be erratic and blabbering is last on that list, hopefully.

This sudden bliss and ugly cry? I am so used to this, to me.

Weeks passed while I sat still, leaning on the door, painfully listening to Jungkook cry or clash with his wife.

It almost makes me culpable, especially when his wife provides me with food and occasionally sends in a doctor to treat me. But I would have to tell myself that, since I originally didn't plan to keep this baby, I don't feel like a burden at all. They have brought this upon themselves, or at least that's how I convinced myself.

Some days felt benign, the days Jungkook was out. I never spoke with him after that time when he asked, "What does it take to live as you, Myrah?"

He was exhausted and monopolized by my presence, but I couldn't help but acknowledge it and asked back, "Wrong choice of words, Kook. How does it feel living in my shoes?"

I made him heavily blameworthy, but it seems he has been getting better. Maybe his wife's words are accurate. The more you feel the pain, the more you comprehend it.

I didn't mean to hurt him anymore, but nature isn't on my side, and so is Tae. Some things are meant to occur and I guess this is it.

The dull deficit days fell into melancholic beats, now tuned softly and gently. Everything felt serene and fine, being away from my pain. Making me nearly bypass my past, my immorality, and my retribution.

The little dairy that I had was the only reason I kept my pace. It was a way for me to exert pressure, or somehow shower my vexation needlessly. Like Jungkook, I coerced myself to write about my past and poke it all once again. It felt awful but it is my penance.

My penance to see the exquisite throne under the blood sea.

*

The blue sky hazed, the cold wooden floors hollered for warmth, and I missed my palace life.

I rubbed myself and my large tummy as I felt my son kick. It all felt nauseous, trying to deny my child was not easy at all but he can and will be my tremendous imperfection and weakness.

I stood up and sat near the same door and leaned on it. Jungkook and his wife were napping inside, but I couldn't. I roamed along the small hall, stared at the moon, and relapsed to the door.

I growled and left a scampered breath. My hands trembled as I closed my mouth with my hands, muffling my shouts of distress. My apparel felt wet as my skin rose in flames of cold. My water broke, and I closed my eyes, trying to take small whiffs.

I respired heavily as I clasped my hands tighter, as my bones twisted and cracked, I shrieked loudly.

My eyes watered as they fogged up. Jungkook's wife unlocked the doors. She hastily called Jungkook and helped me onto the mattress. Holding my hands, she ushered Jungkook to call a few other women.

My rough hands crushed hers as I cried in pain. I bit my lips as they bled. I felt disgraced, showing my vulnerable side.

A burning glaze smudged my lips, but nothing seemed to ameliorate the pain.

The bumpiest time was yet to come. The other women assembled around me and tended to me. As a few placed warm wet clothes on my forehead, I fiddled and tried to mum my yells, and with one large scream, I fell into blankness.

*

All for one baby? Yes, all for one child. My senses asked and answered by themselves like I was overseeing from the third person's perception.

I turned my back to the side and opened my eyes, the room was silent and eerie. As if a spirit hooked me, I jerked up.

Jungkook's wife ran up to me and asked, "Are you alright?"

My eyes inspected the whole room nervously, an unknown and indescribable fear persuaded in the pits of my heart.

"Are you looking for your child?" she asked as I gazed at her.

"Tae took her, once she was born."

Her? I thought she was a he. Pondering and amassing my thoughts, I looked at her with a glimmer of gratefulness, unable to hide the small tear that slipped from my eyes.

*

A week passed and the same loneliness felt worse, my dairy burned in the void. No discussion, no nothing. As if I was abandoned, but not really.

Years crawled up like a snail and went across me. It has been 5 years since I have been with them. Jungkook's wife was very kind to allow me to linger around the house for a few years as Tae thought it would bring some sense to me.

Am I changing?

Gathering up my resilience, I walked to Jungkook.

"Do me one last favor, Kook. Take me to the capital and I promise to leave you for good," I asked.

Without sparing me a glimpse, he asked me to get prepared and notified me that we will be leaving that very day.

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Kat:

Today is 23. 11.22 and this is the 23rd chapter. Woahhh.