The World Inside Our Dreams: Book One

In Hye

I don't know what got into me. I've never exploded like this before. It was like the world disappeared and all I heard was this ringing in my ears. My blood boiled and my heart spilled the angry words it had been holding in.

Letting go of them only made it worse.

In-kyung wanted to start reprimanding me, but In-joo suddenly brought up a hand for her to stop. She ignored In-kyung's confused expression as her gentle eyes looked through me. Numb tears slowly rolled down my cheeks as she said, "What's going on, In-hye? Please. Speak to me. You can trust us."

I sniffled as my muscles began to tighten. I wanted to run and hide. I wanted to cover my ears at the noise of the world asking me why. But I just stood frozen with cold tears making me shiver.

In-joo reached to take my hands so I can step closer. She gently held my arms and sadly said, "Are you worried about me? Is that why you stole the medicine?"

Anger still lingered in my cold veins as I softly said, "I know you got hurt because of me. I've hurt you both." My eyes glanced at In-kyung who let her firmness fall and be replaced with her soft sadness. "You both do so much and suffer so much. All I want to do is repay for what I've done."

"And what is that?" In-joo gently asked.

"I betrayed my family over money. I thought I could be like Hyorim. I pushed away your love. I couldn't even pay you both back with that stupid money Hyorim and I—"

"But—"

In-joo quickly stopped In-kyung so I could whisper, "The least I could do is get medicine for unnie. You do so much for me and I just feel like a burden. I hate myself for being useless. I hate that...you both have to be the first to take the bullet for me when I deserve to get hit instead..."

At last, I've let my sisters see the last of my haunting thoughts. It's what has been eating me up for the past few months. Though, saying it out loud seems to make the weight on my shoulders heavier. So I cried. I always cry. That time, they were present and they could hear the cries that come out when guilt pokes me.

In-joo gently guided me to sit back in my seat where I could see her sad eyes. She carried a sweet worry she often has when I'm sick. She held my cheek and wiped my tears away. I heard her tell In-kyung to sit down and she quietly obeyed. She then lifted my head with a finger under my chin and said, "I never blamed you for what happened. None of this is your fault. It's not yours. Not mine. Not In-kyung's."

I looked at In-kyung and she let her head slightly fall with a hint of her tight lips when her heart is in a dilemma. In-joo brought my attention back to her as she continued. "We all made mistakes during that time. But we are together now and nothing matters more than that. So if I have to get beaten to come back home to see your smile and hear In-kyung's voice, I will."

"You don't deserve such pain, unnie," I said with a quivering voice. "Neither of you. I was the one who heartlessly betrayed the only two people that loved me the most in this world. I wanted to repay for what I did with that money but—"

"That's the thing," In-kyung said. Her dark eyes were teary but her voice was filled with strength. "We love you more than anything in this world and you have nothing to repay us."

"Yes I do," I said with frustration. "If only—"

"Then I forgive you." These words from In-joo were like a slap across my face. She did her warm smile as she said it again. "I forgive you. You don't owe me anything anymore because I've forgiven you a long time ago."

It was then when that weight finally rose from my shoulders and I knew at that moment that even if I lost the whole world, I'd always have them. I wish I could do more, but their reassuring smiles were enough to help me find breath at least at that moment.