15| We Shop for Waterbeds
It was Annabeth's idea. We drove in a Vegas taxi to Los Angeles using the Lotus card. I still have mine, but I always forget about it. Percy started to explain his dream, but he couldn't remember something's. We get to LA and Percy walks into the water, like bruh. After a while, he came back up and told us what happened, showed us the pearls.
Annabeth: 'No gift comes without a price.'
Percy: 'They were free.'
Annabeth: 'No, "There is no such thing as a free lunch." That's an ancient Greek saying that translated pretty well into American. There will be a price. You wait.'
With some spare change from Ares's backpack, we take a bus into West Hollywood. Percy showed the driver the Underworld address slip, but he'd never heard of DOA Recording Studios. We got somewhere, but we walked past gangbangers, bums and street hawkers.
Random Kid: 'Hey, you.'
We stopped, we are surrounded by a gang of kids, six of them. Percy swings at the leader with Riptide, but it goes through him.
Boss Kid: 'What the...'
Percy: 'Run!'
We run, not knowing where we are going, we turn a sharp corner.
Annabeth: 'There!'
Only one store on the block looked open, it's windows glaring with neon. The sign above the door said something like: Crstuy's Watrebde Alpace.
Grover: 'Crusty's Waterbed Palace?'
We burst through the doors, ran behind a waterbed, and ducked. A split second later, the gang kids ran past outside.
Grover: 'I think we lost them.'
???: 'Lost who?'
We jumped, and behind us is a man about six feet tall.
Crusty: 'I'm Crusty.'
Percy: 'Sorry to barge in, we were just, um, browsing.'
Crusty: 'You mean hiding from those no-good kids, they hang around every night. I get a lot of people in here, thanks to them. Say, you want to look at a waterbed?'
He steered us deeper into the showroom.
Crusty: 'This is my most popular model. Million-hand massage. Go on, try it out. Shoot, take a nap. I don't care. No business today, anyway.'
I need a message, I get on one and Grover gets on the other one. Man, this feels so good. I see Crusty push Annabeth on a chair, I was about to beat the living sit out of him. But ropes sprang from the sides of the bed, lashing around me, Grover and Annabeth, holding us to our mattresses.
Grover: 'Not cool! Not cool at all!'
The giant looked at Annabeth, then turns towards Percy.
Crusty: 'Almost, darn it.'
Percy: 'Let my friends go.'
Crusty: 'Oh, sure I will. But I got to make them fit, first.'
Percy: 'What do you mean?'
Crusty: 'Can't stand imperfect measurements, Ergo!
A new set of ropes leaped out from top and bottom of the beds, wrapping around our ankles, then around our armpits. The ropes started tightening, pulling us from both ends, and man it hurts.
Crusty: 'Now why don't we find a bed you like, huh?'
Grover: 'Percy!'
Percy: 'Your real name's not Crusty, is it?'
Crusty: 'Legally, it's Procrustes.'
Percy: 'The Stretcher.'
Procrustes: 'Yeah, but who can pronounce "Procrustes"? Bad for business. Now "Crusty", anybody can say that.'
Percy: You're right. It's got a good ring to it.'
Procrustes: 'You think so?'
Percy: 'Oh, absolutely, and the workmanship on these beds? Fabulous!'
Procrustes: *grins* 'I tell my custermers that, every time. Nobody bothers to look at the workmanship. How many built-in Lava Lamp headboards have you seen?'
Percy: 'Not too many.'
Procrustes: 'That's right!'
Annabeth: 'Percy! What are you doing?'
Percy: 'Don't mind her, she's impossible.'
Procrustes: 'All my customers are.'
Percy: 'So, Crusty... Does this one really have dynamic stabilizers to stop wave motion?'
Procrustes: 'Absolutely, try it out.'
Percy: 'Yeah, maybe I will. But would it work even for a big guy like you? No waves at all?'
Procrustes: 'Guaranteed.'
Percy: 'No way.'
Procrustes: 'Way.'
Percy: 'Show me.'
Procrustes: *sat down eagerly* 'No waves, see?'
Percy: *snaps fingers* 'Ergo.'
Ropes lashed around him and flattened him against the mattress.
Procrustes: 'Hey!'
Percy: 'Centre him just right.'
The ropes readjusted themselves at Percy's command. Percy cut the ropes that held us and we get up, I start to stretch to get rid of some pain.
Percy: 'Come on.'
Grover: 'Give us a minute, we were almost stretched to death!'
Percy: 'Then you're ready for the Underworld, it's only a block from here.'
Y/N:'By my, holy sweet baby gods.'
