her musings - poetry

three years

on my 16th birthday,
i was staring at a tiny flame
dancing, it urged me on
make a wish
our light won't last forever
with the smoke stinging my nostrils
and the baited breath that surrounded me
i strayed far from my heart and returned
and i could only utter words
of plea, to see you again
to have this question answered:

will you be the first to surpass three years?

you see,
fate never allowed things to last longer
than three years for me.
as i glare at pairs side by side
begging fate to stop rubbing it in
that you're seas away,
i'm scared our time is running out
like water thawing through a rock;
is fate so merciless as to
leave me eroded and broken
once again?

what if
we're only a fragment of what we were
most of it constructed by me to fill the gaps
we stopped stepping on together
now our shared experiences are the heaviest
to carry
and yet i am letting it weigh me down
to stop me floating away

the thing is
when i say i really miss you
i swallow the words that would've followed
do you miss me too
but no answer can assure me forever
nor fend off my heart
who stubbornly resides next to yours

i love you
won't you listen to me
i love you