Modern day fairytale (P1Harmony's Theo Fanfiction)

11 - Love hurts

When we came back from shopping, Theo sat on the couch, looking satisfied. It made me feel weird. "Hi guys", he greeted us enthusiastically, "Sorry for not going grocery shopping, I just really had to talk things out with Sara." "How'd it go?", I asked despite not wanting to know the answer. "Well, she's willing to put things aside and try anew", he said proudly. "Great", I smiled forced. Jongseob looked at me confused but kept silent. I suspected him to realize how insincere my congratulations were. Just then Soul walked in, looking at all of us and seemingly grasping the situation quite fast. "Katy, can I talk to you really quick?", he asked and I nodded thankfully, rushing over. Only a second after Soul closed the door to his room behind us, the first tear rolled down my face. Without words he pulled me into a hug and stroke my back. "It's okay, I'm here", he mumbled repeatedly.

After I had calmed down, we sat on his bed. "I assume the worst case happened?", Soul asked me. I nodded. "Well, that's not what I expected", he admitted. "You better did not", I sniffed. A knock on the door made us look up. Soul motioned me to stay seated and opened the door without letting the person behind it peek inside. "I was wondering if you know where Katy is", I recognized Keeho's voice. Soul glimpsed at me and I nodded. "She's here", he then said and opened the door fully. Keeho looked at me shocked.

"Oh no, what happened, sweetheart?", he asked and hurried over, pulling me into a hug. "Don't wanna talk about it right now", I mumbled. "I'll leave you for a bit", Soul said and went outside. Keeho turned to me. "Tell me who hurt you and I will make him regret his whole life", he said angrily. I smiled softly and shook my head. "Please don't", I gave back and cuddled up to him, "Just tell me that life goes on even when bad things happen." "Oh, it definitely does", he immediately said, sounding absolutely sure. I smiled. "It does for sure", he added.

A bit later we heard the next knock on the door and Soul poked his head inside again. "Can I have my room back?", he asked. My tears had dried in the meantime and my mood had improved at least slightly. I chuckled and got up, freeing myself from Keeho's embrace. "Sure. Thank you for everything", I told him and squeezed his shoulder as I passed him. Keeho followed me on my way to the living room. I actually just wanted to go straight to my room, but I got stopped by seeing everyone gathered in the living room. Intak saw us and motioned me to come over. A bit unsure, I walked and sat next to him, Keeho immediately taking my other side.

"Are you guys up for burgers?", my brother wanted to know, "It's on Theo." I shrugged and after seeing my reaction, Keeho nodded. Intak looked at me thoughtful but I sightly shook my head so he decided to just ignore my lacking enthusiasm towards my favourite food. "I thought Katy might choose the restaurant", Theo smiled at me, "I heard you know some good places." Going out? Now? I really didn't feel like it. "How about just ordering? I'm quite tired today", I tried but seeing how Theo's smile faded a bit, I changed my mind before my brain agreed to it: "Or no, maybe going out is just what I need. Some fresh air and so on." "Great", Theo grinned. I realized Intak's urge to ask me what this was about but before he could, I suggested a restaurant right around the corner and excused myself to get myself ready.

Intak had obviously followed me shortly after, now leaning against my door and crossing his arms at me. "You just really make me worried", he just said. "But I do mean it", I insisted, "We will go out to eat and I don't want to talk about what happened just now. I promised you to come to you once I need your advice and I will. But right now, I just want to enjoy this evening without thinking about anything else." As if I could. He inspected me closely, then sighed. "Okay, whatever", he gave up, "But remember that I love you, sis." I smiled softly. "I love you too, you big human teddy bear", I answered. He chuckled and finally left my room again.

Keeho and Intak didn't leave my side while going to the restaurant and kept me company during the dinner itself, so I actually managed to not focus on what had happened this afternoon. Until we got ready to go back home. Theo held me back, asking me if I could spare him a minute. I wasn't sure what to say but right that moment, Soul stepped in and shooed the guys away from us. Theo smiled brightly at me and my stomach released butterflies. I cursed it. "I just wanted to say thank you for motivating me to talk to Sara", he said. "Oh, uhm, no worries, really", I shrugged and tried to walk away but he just stuck to me. "No, seriously, I would have been so mad at myself if I wouldn't have tried it. She's so nice and kind and lovely and I-" "Theo", I interrupted him and stopped to turn to him, "I am happy for you, I really am." I said it with all honesty though it made my heart sting. "But I am not in for an emotional talk about how great she is, okay? Not now." I turned around again and walked away before he could answer.

I almost bumped into someone on my way out. He caught me surprised and then chuckled. "Careful there, girl", he smiled at me. I mumbled a short thank you and hurried further, hoping to catch up with the other guys fast. "Hey Katy, wait", the person shouted after me. Surprised I stopped in my tracks and looked back. Oh great. "Dave?", I asked in disbelief. "Hey, hello there, how are you?", my former crush asked me. We've been unofficially dating back in high school, but I cut it off. I shrugged instead of an answer as I watched him coming uncomfortably close as always. He had no sense of private space at all. One of the reasons I stopped spending time with him. Not only distance-wise did he not grasp the idea of boundaries but also while talking to someone. He only meant well, I knew, but I felt so suffocated whenever I was with him. At first, it felt like being spoiled, but I soon found out that I didn't actually like it.

He stood right in front of me now. "We've been here together, remember? It was your favourite restaurant, wasn't it? Is it still?", he asked. I shrugged again and took a step back. He followed. "Hey, I miss you. Wanna hang out again one day? You know, no strings attached but like I would love that", he continued. "Sorry, Dave, but I really ain't up for it", I explained shortly. "Oh come on", he smiled at me and put a hand on my shoulder, "You and me. We were a good team!" I shook him off. "I don't think so, sorry", I told him.

"Leave her be", I heard someone else's voice and recognized Theo. Great. Dave stared at him confused, not moving as the other one walked over to us. And he didn't even protest as Theo took my hand and turned me around. I did internally though. Somehow. "Excuse us, we'll be on our way then", he said slightly sarcastically and led me away. As soon as we were around the next corner, I freed myself from Theo. "Thanks for helping", I mumbled. "Don't mention it", he said, "I'd go furious if someone step this close to Sara despite her not wanting him to and it must feel quite uncomfortably. You know, she's been through enough, she should-" "Will you please stop it?", I interrupted him loudly. He looked at me shocked. I barely lost my temper.

"I don't want to hear about Sara and you or your oh-so-perfect relationship, okay?", I snapped. We had stopped walking and stood facing each other. He crossed his arms. "Telling me to go after my girlfriend first and now not even the slightest interested, huh?", he asked. He seemed mad but so was I. "I did not tell you to go after her, I was just trying to sort things out rationally", I hissed. He snickered. "What else to expect from Miss 'love does not exist'?", he asked sarcastically. "Yeah, well, what else to expect from you then, huh? Do you even know how hurtful love can be? How it feels to lose your hope of loving someone? As far as I know you're just strolling around in your life but have no clue of how much of your confidence, comfort or self-image can be crushed or distorted by relationships. Who are you to judge me about my perspective of a rational love?"

"And who are you to think I would not know what love can do to you? You don't even know me", he said quietly, "My parents got divorced after years of indifference and not talking it out. To me they seemed like idol lovebirds when I was a child but somehow I slowly realized how wrong that image was as I grew up. You might have had some bad experiences with some stupid men which surely is hurtful, but you were disappointed by THEM. I was disappointed in the model relationship I had as a kid. I was disappointed in the concept of love ITSELF. Do you know how long it took me to realize that just because they got divorced after all these years doesn't mean there is no love possible at all? Do you know how hard it was to build up my hope in love again? No, you don't. So don't run around ridicule people who have the courage of fighting for a relationship just because you envy them deep inside."

Theo left me standing there, in the middle of a street, confused by the new information I just got and deeply sorry for what I had said. I didn't even realize that he had already walked further for some time. But then I immediately ran after him.

I was still catching my breath as I finally reached him in the hallway. "I'm sorry", I said just as he noticed me. He raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry I said all the stuff and for insulting you", I went on, "You're right. I don't know a lot about you yet and I must not judge. I am really, absolutely sorry. Yes, I want to believe in true love but maybe I am just to scared of it because it is so uncontrollable and yet so fragile. But that is no excuse for what I said to you. Can you forgive me?" He waited a bit longer, every second torturing me. Then he suddenly held out his hand. "I should not have continued talking about Sara after you asked me to stop", he admitted, "I was too enthusiastic, I guess. I'm sorry too. And I said some stupid things as well. I don't want you to think your disappointment in relationships is any less worth than mine, it's just different. And it hurts just as much, I guess. My apologies." Smiling softly, I shook his hand. "Friends again?", I asked and he nodded: "Yes. Friends again."