Finding themselves

The breakup

Jimin was excited, he was going to surprise Jungkook. He'd finally finished his stint in the military, jungkook had finished a month earlier.
He couldn't wait to see him being without him all these months had been so hard, they had only met up twice in all that time as they were based in different regiments and regions.Phone calls had been their way of communicating but for the last month Jungkook had been busy or unavailable a lot of the time but text to say they would catch up soon, so Jimin was now going to surprise him today, jungkook thought he came out next week so he was excited to see the look on his face when he went to his apartment that they had shared before the military.
Jimin sat in the taxi smiling as he thought about the other. He had always loved him since the group started and Jungkook had been very shy whereas Jimin had been full on when younger. He always let the other know he liked him but it had been a few years before Jungkook willingly reciprocated.
From then on they had been inseparable , the funny thing was as they got older Jimins nature turned quieter and Jungkook came out of his shell.
When after a lot of media attention they had joined the military, because it couldn't be put of any longer, they found the public were annoyed at the government claiming they should have done a three month stint only as they were more supportive of the country by they're group activities, more money came into the country when they were available than through the time they all spent in the army.
A lot of media outlets did I told you so pieces, when fans stopped coming to S Korea as they thought an injustice had been done. Money from tourism dropped, overseas media were just as confused at how a band at the height of their fame could be discarded as nobodies by they're country.
Jimin sighed finally it was over, he hadn't enjoyed his time in the military, there were a few homophobic comments and unfriendly treatment, but no worries he was free now.
The taxi pulled up and Jimin got out and went into the building. He got out the door key Jungkook had given him when he first moved in and quietly opened the door only to hear voices raised, he stepped in but stood still on hearing his name.
"Jimin doesn't know how you feel?"
"No, it's hard..., we have just always been together so is it a case of we were together because of the closeness of the group. Being in the army has made me question our relationship. I've even avoided phone calls with him, I don't know if I want us to continue being a couple , I want to explore other avenues."
"Kook you have to tell him, it will be hard as we are in a group so will have to meet up."
"I know Tae, but I can't carry on a relationship just because it's easy,"
"Don't you love him?"
"Honestly...., I don't know. Before we were with each other 24/7 but after this time I'm wondering if I stay because that's what we do, Jimin can be clingy , oh god I don't know should I just leave it as it is?"
Jimin felt like he was having a heart attack, the pain inside his chest built as he listened to Jungkook. All the happiness seeped out of him. Distant memories of schoolkids  telling him he was too chubby nobody would want him, days at the beginning where Jungkook always pushed him away. Was he so clingy that the other had ignored his calls so that he could have peace and quiet?
He felt old insecurities slam into his head, but despite the pain he didn't want Jungkook to stress out over it.
Stepping forward he spoke," seems like you have already made your mind up about us"
"Jimin!"
"And there was I thinking I would surprise you...."
"Look Jimin it's not ...."
"Jungkook stop..., I heard it all, you aren't happy with the relationship so we will call it quits , I'll get my stuff"
He went past the two shocked males into the bedroom getting a large suitcase and packing his clothes, he could hear murmurs from the other room then a front door closing and Jungkook stepped into the room.
"Jimin, I don't know what to say...."
"You don't have to say anything, we will carry on in the group and just be friends, you can carry on and look for what and who you want, I'm sorry that you thought you couldn't tell me how you felt, before I came back, I've only ever wanted for you to be happy."
He snapped the locks shut on the case and gave a fake smile," guess I'll see you at managements office next week ."
He brushed past his ex lover then turned," here, I have no right to this now," he held out the door key and Jungkook took it staring down at it. He didn't say a word as Jimin left but felt an odd pain in his chest as the door closed behind him. Shit had he done the right thing?
Jimin dragged his case along, aimlessly walking, then deciding he needed to get a hotel room. Wearing a face mask so he wouldn't be recognised he came to an elegant looking hotel where he found they did have a room so he booked in, going into his room and finally giving into the sobs he'd kept inside.
He went to the room minbar taking out some small bottles and swallowing them one after the other soon becoming fuzzy headed. He climbed onto the bed curling up.
So much for love he thought drowsily, it had been one sided , your so stupid Jimin why would anyone want you?
His eyes closed and he drifted off, having nightmares of Jungkook on a hill staring down at him  and laughing as he got stuck not being able to reach Kookie.
The next day when he woke up he got in touch with management to say he was back . They knew about Jimin and Jungkooks relationship so presumed he would be staying there, when he said he was residing at a hotel they panicked and immediately told him they would send someone to pick him up and take him to a company apartment. He agreed only because he knew the hotel could become inundated with fans once it became known all were now back.
The apartment was in a tower block they had stocked it with food and said it had security in the building as other famous celebrities lived in the block.
Jimin unpacked his stuff, he then got in touch with RM the group leader.
"Jimin! Thought it was next week you got out!"
"Yer....surprise !"" He joked weakly.
"Bet Jungkook is stoked your back!"
"Er...., we aren't together,"
"What!Jimin what's happened?" RmM asked in concern.
"H-he outgrew me, he wants to have room to explore new things in life..." Jimin said with a betraying sniff.
"Oh god I'm sorry Jimin...., where are you then? Do you want me to come over?"
Jimin explained where he was but asked RM to let him be for a bit, but could he explain to the others as he didn't want them to make a big deal of it when they all met up.
RM was concerned but respected Jimins privacy.
Within the next hour he had messages from the rest of the group welcoming him back and saying they were there if he needed to talk.
Tae's was more straightforward, apologising for being the one Jungkook had spoken to first and saying he didn't like the way Jungkook had acted.
Jimin in reply said it was ok and that Jungkook had obviously felt more comfortable with him than he did with Jimin and that he didn't want anyone taking sides it was just something that happened.
Jimin then sat in the apartment not eating or drinking, the day became night, the view from the apartment changed to a myriad of lights from the town in the darkness. Jimin felt cold inside and out wondering what his future would be like now, before he had always envisaged Jungkook and him together but now.......