ecstasy

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What do you call friends that sometimes kiss and flirt? We aren't dating. At least I don't think we are. We've never discussed it.

It started with mild, playful flirting. Once the Tournament of Elements was over, we started hanging out more in hopes of moving on from past problems. I know neither of us really wanted to fight in the first place, and it was all for a stupid reason, so I'm glad we could finally begin moving on and start spending time together like we used to. Once we completely cleared the air, we hung out all the time and played video games and even sometimes stayed up until way past midnight binge watching our favourite shows. I guess after all the time we were spending with one another, things just began escalating and the mild 'friendly' flirting turned into hour-long late night text conversations, nervous giggling and a lot of physical touch.

And eventually kisses.

I'm still confused as to how it all happened, and so quickly, but it's nice.

Jay's probably one of my favourite people ever. He's so fun and sweet and caring and I just genuinely like being around him. All the things I hated him for back when we were fighting, I can't get over now. There's just something so special about him; it's difficult to put into words. I'm not sure how he feels about me though.

Are we just friends? Do normal friends just kiss each other sometimes? Do we need to label it?

I mean, Jay doesn't seem too interested in labelling it. It's not like we kiss all the time or act like we're a couple or anything, it's just that we've kissed like three times now over the course of a few weeks and I'm not sure if something is going on or not. I want it to, but does he? I mean, he's the one who initiates most of the kisses and the flirting and he's seemed to be really close with me recently but I'm not sure if he can tell that I like him and he's trying to string me along - which I don't see him doing purposefully - or if he's just too worried to actually say something about it. Either way, it's starting to get on my nerves. I don't know what he wants.

Awkwardness has never really been a problem for us but every time we've kissed, we kinda just go back to what we're doing and pretend it didn't happen but I don't want to do that anymore. I just wanna be able to do it all the time without having to question whether there's something between us or not. I wish Jay was easier to read.

So going back to my original question.. what are we?

"All your ideas are crap. I think mine is the only option we have."

"There's no way we're getting him a mug that says 'best ninja ever' on it," I laugh, "It'll only feed into his already huge ego. Also, my idea isn't crap. Cake is a much better gift than anything physical."

"Cake is physical, boulder-brain," Jay rolls his eyes.

"You know what I mean."

I suppose I should just be grateful that we're finally getting along. We can have whole conversations without wanting to rip each other's throats out now. It's relaxing. And I'm sure it doesn't get on everyone else's nerves too. The news articles seem to have reduced as well.

But even though there's many positives to us practically being best friends, there's still that annoying feeling that I just wanna hug him all the time. I think I'd much rather have us fighting again because then I at least had an excuse to grab his arm and push him or something without him questioning it.

Not that he ever does question it..

"What else do you think Kai would like then? He already has enough hair gel and mirrors which are the two things he loves most," I continue, "what do you suggest? And don't even think about saying that stupid mug again."

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