Bloodlust | lrh

22. Go to bed

There's a knock on Soka's bedroom door a while after she dove into her bed. She gave up and started crying, and there's no way anyone is going to see her like this.

"Can I please come in?" Ashton is on the other side of the door. Calum felt horrible enough to offer to come check on her with him, but he was told to sit this one out. Ashton's barely sure if she'll talk to him, let alone Calum.

"Not right now." Soka croaks out. She wishes it didn't sound like she was crying, but her voice cracked, and it resembled more of a whimper than a confident statement.

"It's just me, please let me in." He asks one last time. She shouldn't have to go through this alone. He knows she's too proud to make it someone else's problem, that's something she mentioned she struggled with during one of their late night conversations a couple months ago. She sniffles back whatever tears are currently in her eyes and face plants into her pillow. If she can get her voice under control she can just keep her face covered. No one will know. Yeah right.

"Fine." She calls out, squishing her face back into the pillow before Ashton can come in.

He walks into a grizzly scene. The girl is laid out like a plank on her bed, the lights all off. She didn't hesitate to get right to dwelling.

"Is now a good time to admit that you like him?" Ashton tries to crack the joke but it doesn't land. Soka throws her middle finger in the air. He sits with his back against the bed like he usually does when they have their talks. "I never said he was good at processing his feelings."

"You only said there was no reason to stay away." The girls points out, her voice muffled from the pillow nearly suffocating her. Her words make Ashton sigh. He knows this isn't his fault but he can't help but feel like it is.

"I didn't think you were listening to me when I said that." He chuckles, looking up to see she hasn't moved an inch.

"I don't care. He can fuck whoever he wants to." Ashton can barely hear her but he manages to piece it together.

"You do care that's the issue. He's never had someone care before." He points out, watching her for when she finally decides to come up for air.

"I don't care Ash. I'm only upset because everyone lied to me." She lies herself, doing her best to create an explanation for her reaction to the hickeys. Any explanation that isn't she has feelings for the heartless murderer.

"Now really isn't the time to lie to yourself." He says, his eyes darting to the girl now that she's finally flipping over.

"I knew he'd fuck her again." She's blocking out the emotions now, and she's doing a pretty good job of it. She had her slip but she's not slipping up again. She sounds normal now.

"We don't even know that they fucked." Ashton suggests, playing devil's advocate even though he knows they did.

"They fucked Ash. He was in too good of a mood when he got home from hunting a crate down all damn day."

"Fair." He doesn't know what else to say. He didn't really think that much about the actual consoling part, all he knew was that he should probably check on her.

They sit in silence for a little while. She doesn't cry again which is good. The fact that she cried at all pisses her off more than anything else. It was such an overreaction.

"You're the only girl that's ever stepped foot in this house that I've actually liked. He's never brought anyone home like that, but I've had short interactions with hook ups and the other gifts." He doesn't like that he has no other word to use for the girls that have been handed over to Luke. "You're pretty cool I hope you know that."