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Elizabeth's pov

Either that party wore the shit out of me or I just haven't been sleeping right, because the past two days have been filled with my constant exhaustion.

I tried to hold in my yawns as much as possible throughout the day, but it wasn't working. Hell, even coffee did squat.

I just couldn't feel energized.

"What's wrong with me?" I groaned as I flopped down on Colby's bed. I was alone, Colby was streaming in the other room.

He advised that I stay out of the videos and Instagram or Snapchat stories as much as possible, and I only found out this morning as to why.

Apparently, at the party a video was filmed, and you can clearly see Colby and I dance incredibly close together, a kiss is questionable. The video off of someone's story was apparently too blurry to be certain, but fans recognized it was definitely us.

It didn't help that Sam and Colby's Youtube video with me in it came out earlier that day.

I was curious to see what the internet thought of me though. There probably wouldn't be anything too bad, since most of their fanbase most likely isn't even over ten years old.

Little kids are nice, right?

I pulled up the video on my phone, scrolling through the comments as the video played.

Most of them were nice, gently teasing or thinking it was cute that I was very camera shy in the intro.

Some of them pointed out that Colby walked beside me on the way to the orphanage, while Sam filmed shots of everything around us. I don't remember him doing that, but it was cool to see.

People were asking about my social media, or lack of. Sam left in the part where I got trapped in one of the rooms.

"Damn," I whispered, noting how chaotic they made it seem with the music and amplified screams. I wasn't shouting that loud, right?

It looked like I was crying in Colby's arms, the way I was shivering. I wasn't though, but people thought I was.

Some of the comments with that timestamp were really defensive, saying how dramatic I was being and how close I stayed to Colby the entire rest of the video.

A lot of the comments that mentioned me were telling me to go unalive myself, or to get the fuck away and toughen up.

"Jesus," I shook my head, wondering why they seemed so hateful. I hardly did anything and they were coming for my throat.

I scrolled through Twitter, searching for the video that was going around of Colby and I.

It wasn't hard to find, I only had to make an account and look up his name. Underneath his account were tweets from fans and videos and pictures.

Most of them were discussing the subject I was looking for.

I watched the video and looked at the pictures. Oh yeah, we were definitely kissing. It's hard to tell, but I remember what was going on.

The comments on here were worse than the Youtube ones. Granted, they were two whole other problems but they've known Colby longer than I have, and know that this isn't normal.

One particular post had many different reactions.

Ew

Who's down to kill her?

Kill me? KILL me? "Bloody hell," I rolled my eyes. This girl's profile picture literally proves she is around fourteen.

She literally looks like an elf. Colby can do better.

I don't know who she thinks she is.

Can't we just be happy for him for once?

He's a grown man

Oh god, not this again. RIP Liz

She seems really sweet but definitely has been pushing herself onto Colby. Like grow tf up.

Ugly Whore

I hope she jumps off a cliff

"These are all so fucking petty," I exited the app, not even caring that much.

That's what I was trying to convince myself, at least.

How could thousands of people hate me for something they know nothing about? Is that even possible?

I only read into the first layer of a thousand-layer cake, all filled with Colby's drama with his fans.

It's not really my fault, right?

I picked my phone back up, opening the camera. What I saw in the reflection wasn't ugly, but I could surely see the flaws.

There was a pimple by my eyebrow, my nose was looking rather large from this angle. My left eye was smaller than my right, which is something I noticed when I was around eight or so.

My eyebrows needed some attention, the bags under my eyes were screaming for some concealer. The mole on the end of my nose was something I thought was cute until now.

I put the camera away, turning over to study the rest of my body. My boobs were hardly a double b, my thighs were definitely too flabby. My toes were freaky long, and they kind of freaked me out.

Feet always freaked me out, so that's nothing new to me.

I hated everything about myself. My body is something I can't control, but I definitely can control how I see it.

And I see it as a piece of crap. It's nowhere near fine art, it's gross.

Drug abuse had a heavy part in that for sure, but I wasn't as bad as Isaac. Even when I saw him at the restaurant I could tell he was still using.

I wonder where I would be now if I wouldn't have left Isaac and gotten myself into a rehab.

Rehab wasn't shit, but it was enough to keep me clean. I did consider using from time to time, and these couple of parties have definitely tempted me.

There are so many times where I will glance into a room and see people snorting shit off the coffee table or rolling up a joint for a couple of people to share.

But I am stronger than my addiction.

And if I can be stronger than my addiction, I can be stronger than what these Colby Brock fangirls think I am.

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