Summer's End - Bucky and Mel Universe 1

Interlude

Why? Why couldn't she just have let him pay? He honestly seemed hurt. She didn't know how to make it better. Coming into her apartment, she stripped down, leaving a trail of her clothes to the bathroom. She'd pick them up later when she composed herself more. She ran the bath and poured herself a glass of wine, added bubbles to the water. Got in and let the smell and the warmth take her away from the day. She was musing with perhaps a roof meeting with Matt.She need to stop relying on him like a crutch. She stayed there until the water became cold. She left the water out, ran another bath and filled it again, and again, and again. She was very pruny by the morning. The warmth and the water comforted like it always had, but it did not heal. It would not love.
She could deal with a lot of things. She could deal with men being loud. She would deal with men being violent. Silence is what killed her. It was as if she could absorb all the ill feelings they had and it magnified her own feelings of doubt, sadness, frustration.
Brushing her hair and placing it on top of her head as a messy bun, she got into some comfy pajamas. She began work again on her outfit for the costume dance at her school. If anything to have something to keep her hands busy. She did not sleep that night or at all during Sunday. She did finish her outfit. She went over to the studio to work and listen to music, to get lost in the art. Hours passed. Exhaustion finally came, and she walked back across to her apartment. She had left her phone there all day and did not answer it. If she had, she would have seen, there were texts from James asking if she was ok and if she needed anything. She wanted to forget, but didn't know how. Work helped, yet her dreams were fitful. Full of physical pain she has always dreamed about in tough times. Unlike normal dreams, there was just pain, hate, sadness, there was no reasoning. There were no images, just negative emotions and feelings of pain. She woke up more than once screaming and yelling.
Perhaps this is what life was and was going to be? She should just give up on relationships all together. Grant it, this was the first for her in years, things hadn't had changed THAT much. She was tired of it, of the guessing,
Eric was the only one who was always completely open with her, gentle. She never had to worry about anything with him. She never had to guess, what he was thinking. She was free from fear. He was not loud, not was he ever violent. That is probably why his loss hurt her so much. Perhaps she was only meant to have the memories of him. Perhaps she should keep them polished and shiny as no one else could ever compare to him.
The dawn came and with that she rose up. Mel got all her things ready for the day, resolute to only focus on work and her students. She wasn't hungry all weekend so she didn't eat. She didn't eat that morning either. She did pack a lunch, Mel know she would probably not eat that either and would give it to one of the students who forgot to bring their lunch that day. She walked past the place where the homeless man was, he was gone. She knew he had died that Saturday evening, she could feel it. She stopped and placed a flower there for him muttering a silent prayer on her way home that evening. It hurt that no one remembered him. Are we nothing but a memory to someone else?
She knew she would be remembered, her students loved her. Many came back years later to thank her, still more came back to give back to the school and community. She made a difference. That would need to be enough in this world.
On her way home, she looked down at her phone, a text from James.
I'm sorry, I was an ass. Forgive me.
She thought long and hard about texting him back. What would she say. The dots appeared as she was typing something in on her side, then she erased them. Whatever she was going to say, she didn't want to chastise him, she didn't want to lead him on either. Yet she felt the need for closure. Perhaps they could be friends after all. Just friends. She could live with that.
Hi. She texted back. Non committal, still left things open for conversation.
I talked to a friend of mine and he showed me the error of my ways. James
Ok? Mel.
I really want to see you again, to get to know you more and set things right. James
Message received was all his phone had said. She did not text back, she turned her phone off for the rest of the evening. She needed a break. She made an Earl Grey tea and sat in her window seat for the rest of the evening drawing. Then went to bed. Once again, if she had only looked down, she would have seen him standing across the street in the shadows watching.
Tuesday came and went, she kept her phone off at school. Always be a good model for others.
On her way home, she dropped another flower at the homeless man's site. Perhaps she was mourning the relationship which could have been. Yeah right, she thought. You got one chance at a soulmate in your lifetime, you didn't get another. Lightning didn't strike twice. Eric, I wish you were here. If you were here, he wouldn't even be on my radar, we would be living our lives together and happy.
When she got home, she turned her phone on again. Noticing another message.
Please? James.
The sting was less in her mind and in her heart. She still did not feel like talking to him.
On Wednesday, on her walk home again, she dropped a flower. "Why are you doing that? You've done that for the last few days." James said.
"No one deserves to be completely forgotten." Mel responded and started to walk quickly away. James started to walk quickly to match her pace.
"Somehow, I don't see how anyone could ever forget you." James teased. Mel kept walking. He reached for her arm to make her stop walking, but she got out of his grip quickly using a self defense move. James wasn't prepared for that. He tried again, and she was able to get away again. She didn't say anything just kept walking.
"Hey, come on don't be like that." He said. This time he tried both arms she was able to evade him. It was as if she was flowing like water, she was able to duck, deflect, and evade any move he tried to use to make her stop. Finally he stopped and ran ahead to get in front of her, she stopped and changed direction. So did he. Tears were in her eyes, she was clearly mad and frustrated. This time he grabbed her, he just held her, not moving away, not saying anything. A passerby would think it was a couple in a long embrace. He could feel her heart thumping through her chest and heat coming off of her. Still, he continued to stand there holding her.
Ever so quietly he said, "I'm not going anywhere, I'm not going to forget you."
Tears, large and hot streamed from her face. "I got you, I'm not letting you go." He whispered.
They both could feel the fight and anger slowly leave her body. Slowly, he walked her over the the park bench that he met her at originally, and he sat her down and sat down beside her. He held her and brushed her hair behind her ear, petting her hair and face with his hand while the other held her hand. He kissed the top of her head, her forehead, her eyes ever so slowly, then her nose, which got a cough laugh out of her. They sat in silence. He brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed each knuckle, then continue rubbing her hand with his thumb. She started eventually to lean into him and he increased his embrace. He picked up her legs and placed them over his so they were facing each other more and rested his forehead against hers occasionally backing up to kiss it gently, slowly.
While on the mission a few days ago, Sam and Bucky were having a chat while fighting. Something's were made apparent to Bucky that any normal man would have seen before.
"How is it going with the new girl, Mel?" Sam asked.
"I have no idea," Sam could tell Bucky was in a mood. "I took her to the museum to visit Dustin and he smoozed her with art, she was certainly paying attention and delighted to be there an all. When we left she was in a great mood, it was pouring and she ran through the ran from awning to awning, laughing all the way. I took her out to dinner, and then..." he trailed off after he caught the shield. Then threw the shield to Sam.
"And then what."
"She paid for dinner."
"Oh that is not the end of the world."
"Well it's not how I was brought up."
"Did you ask her not to pay?"
"No? I asked her to dinner". Bucky explained.
"That's not the same as asking her not to pay."
"Dating is weird now and days, I don't know when I'm doing the right thing."
"Well neither does she if you don't talk about it first."
"Then things went from bad to worse."
"How so?"
"I wouldn't talk to her. She had ordered an extra meal and felt weird about allowing me to pay. Only to find out she was going to give it to a homeless man on the street."
"That was nice of her then what?"
"I still wasn't talking to her, she said that he was going to die soon. Like how did she know that? It didn't seem like she knew the guy personally."
"Well."
"Well, what?"
"Well, did the guy die?"
"Yes, but how was I to know."
"Then what happened?"
"She said something about being forgotten, and losing someone."
"Were you even listening to her at this point?"
"Probably not."
"The thing is, you have gone from being a villain, to learning how to be a hero, to having to learn to be a human being. It's being a while since you were just a person and not something extra ordinary. You said she was adopted and lost someone in the snap. She is dealing with trauma. Even those who are 100% healed and functioning still have relapses especially if they are trying something out new and they want things to go right."
Bucky thought about what Sam was saying, remembering back to his own therapy and work he did in Wakanda. There was a great deal of truth in this.
"Tell you, what, why not text her to test the waters. If she never wants to see you again, she'll block your number and move on. If you have even the slightest chance with her, she'll try communicating on some level more than silence back with you. She was probably scared by how quiet you were and your brood."
"I do not brood."
"Yes you do, you sulk. Take things slow, be gentle. See what else you can find out about her before you see her again."
Bucky ended up taking his advice. He did research things about her. He found out that she did not have a real social media footprint. She really only used it to promote her work and her school. This lead him to a dead end. He remembered she said she was adopted and at the orphanage at St. Mark's. That was something to go on.