Summer's End - Bucky and Mel Universe 1

And Here Comes the Rain

They woke up to rain, hard and driving.  It certainly put a damper on the morning.  Mel packed up their items and then went to the kitchen to start cleaning it up before they left.
"Hon, leave that, Pepper will have someone out this afternoon to clean everything."  James offered as he handed her a mug of tea.
"I just feel badly about leaving the place like this," she began.  "I mean here we are borrowing a place of a person I don't know and then leaving it not clean."
"I love you, you're adorable.  Don't worry, she will have someone out to clean it.  Besides you will get to meet her later this month at the holiday party.  She'll be bringing her daughter, Morgan, with her.  You can thank them personally then and get to meet them as well.  They will love you."
She chewed on her bottom lip.  Last night was still on her mind, it wasn't taking center stage as he thought it might, but he could tell it was still bothering her.
"Look, even Matt said he was coming to the party.  Trust me, we worked things out or at least got to a working truce.  You are important to both of our lives.  Neither one of us want to lose you."  He placed a peck on her forehead.  "I'll let you fly if you let me take off an land, we will work on take offs and landings next time.  Would that cheer you up?"  She could tell he really wanted her out of the funk she was currently in.
"Maybe?  Is it ok if we stop by my apartment to get a few things when we get back?"  She asked looking up to him.
"Yes, we will definitely need to do that.  And we need to discuss what we are putting into the new place?  What of yours we are keeping, what of mine, and what we will need to get new."
"Huh? I thought I would just be moving in with you at the compound."  Her brow was wrinkled a bit.
"You will be, but I thought it be best if we had new rooms all together and start fresh.  This way we will build something together."
"I like that idea.  Thank you.  Not that I am worried about your personal style or anything, I wanted something to be us rather than me just being there."
"Ok, let's get a move on so we can hit a few places when we get back and I think we should go shopping for a dress for the party.  It's black tie."
They got into the quinjet.  When they got above the storm, James let her take the controls from the co-pilot's seat.  She piloted well and was able to follow the course he had set for New York.  When they arrived it was cold and blustery.  It was too cold he felt for them to take the bike, they opted for one of the cars from the motor pool.  James was going to remind her to get a thick hat before they left her apartment.  The coat she had was warm enough, he didn't want her getting sick from having cold ears though.  As they drove through the city, he rested his hand on the back of her neck and could feel how cold her earlobes were.  Perhaps a scarf, too.
When they got to her apartment she entered the atrium and stopped.  "Something feels strange."  She said.
"Let me go before you."  James said pushing her behind her.
"James, I said something felt strange."  He walked room to room, checking things out.  While he agreed, it felt strange to him as well, nothing seemed out of place.  The windows were all still locked.  Nothing looked broken.  Neither of them could put their finger on it.  She gathered a few things.  "I want to hop over to the studio as well and get a few things there."  She said getting the other fob out of her coat pocket.
"Ok, dear."  James said.
As she pushed the door open, she looked inside.  The place was in shambles.  She gasped.  Canvasses were sliced and ripped, paints spilled, her pottery wheel was destroyed and in pieces.  Brushes were broken or the hair was ripped out.  Looking at he lock, it was broken.  A couple of the paintings and drawings she had started were in tatters on the floor.  She bent down and gingerly touched them.  "Who would do this?" She whispered.  Mel didn't keep anything really valuable like money in the studio.
"Hon, don't touch anything else." He bent down and picked her up taking her out of the studio to the hallway.  James got out his phone and called the police and the team.  He walked Mel over to her apartment and escorted her in as they waited for the police to show up.
"Sergeant Barnes," Officer Umbari said, "thank you for calling us and removing the young lady from the scene.  Can you tell us some more information?"
James told them how they went away for a few days and just got back into town.
"Are there any people who you think may want to hurt Ms. Cymraeg or do this to her?"  The officer asked as he was filling out the report.
"No one she's a really good person."
"Even the best people sometimes have enemies.  It might be best that she spend a few days somewhere else in case the perpetrator comes back."
"I think we have that handled."
The officer Mel was talking to separately finished his report.  "We will check the place for prints and call you if we find anything.  It is really unusual for someone to be able to break in without the key fob but seeing how the door jam was fiddled with, there recalling is no telling who might have done this.  We checked the hall cameras and did not see anything."
They both left their numbers with the police.
On the drive back to the compound, Mel was quiet, resting her forehead on the window relishing the cold.  James squeezed her hand to let her know he was there for her.  The quiet was bothering him.  He could understand why she hated it so much.  "Mel, you're ok, I want you to know that."
"I'm just angry right now.  I don't want to take anything out on you."  James could tell she was restraining her self.  "I'm sorry, I don't mean to snap at you."
"You're not snapping at me, why are you apologizing."
"Apparently it's my super power."
"Are you saying that to be funny or are you mad?"
"Does it matter," she said.  It was more of a statement than a question.
He stroked her hair, he wanted to stop everything and comfort her to make her feel safe again.  He didn't know what to do.  When they got back to the compound, Mel went right to his room and started to change into work out clothes.
"I heard what happened, she going to be ok?" Sam asked.
"She's really pissed."  James said.
"I wish I could tell you what she needs, it's different for everyone.  Don't beat yourself up over this.  I'll take a team over to her apartment and see what we can find when the cops leave."
"Thanks, Sam, I really appreciate it."  James walked to their rooms, Mel was not there.  "FRIDAY, find Mel for me."
"Ms. Cymraeg is in training room number eight," the AI responded.  This was the room with the most punching bags in it.  James was thankful that she chose to go there instead of going out and taking her aggression out on someone else.  When he entered the room, she had already taken out half of the punching bags from their hung stations and they laid on the floor busted open.    He could see on the cloth there were some blood from where she busted her knuckles open.  He walked over to her on the mat and grabbed her hand looking down at it.  She had wrapped it and the wrap looked clean.  "No." He said.  She was breathing heavy but let him unwrap her hands.  As he unwrapped them, he could see the blood start to seep through the bandages.  He looked over at the trashcan.  She had re-wrapped her hands a few times it seemed as the bloody bandages sat there near the top.  When he got down to her knuckles, they were clean.  Where was the blood coming from then?  He un-wrapped the other hand gently, this time he saw blood and her knuckles were bloody.  The skin was regrowing over top of the areas that had torn and looked like nothing had happened to them.  No bruising, no swelling, no blood.
"I swear, I am not doing it on purpose." She offered him.  She walked over to the bench and picked up more wrap and re-wrapped her hands again.
"You need to stop," he said, "You're harming yourself.  This isn't healthy."
If she could shoot daggers out of her eyes, he would have been a deadman by the look he just gave him.
"Right now, it seems like the best alternative," she said as she started hitting and kicking the bag again until it, too, joined the others on the floor.  He grabbed both of her arms, lifting her off the ground, she growled.  James held her until she stopped.
"Someone destroyed my work!"
"Yes, they did, no one got hurt.  Things will work out."
"No, you don't get it.  Creating things for me is like having a child..... giving birth.  You put all this time and effort into it only to have some one or thing take it away...," she began but he cut her off.
"And you're safe...."
"No, you don't get it.... I can't have children.  This is the only way I can have something left of me behind.  My work, my pieces are my children."
He held onto her as she thrashed about not letting go of her arms and keeping her legs away from him as much as possible.  James walked over to a wall and placed his back against it.  He slid down the wall and wrapped his legs around Mel as well.  He wanted to put her into a protective cocoon of love so she wouldn't feel pain or hurt any more.  She was so angry, she wasn't crying.  She was letting out the anger she held within herself for years and years.
Her childhood stolen and waking up without a any memory of what she had.  Then finding a family only to have that taken away.  Later discovering why she never had a period, he uterus was removed.  The abusive boyfriend when he found out that she could never have children.  Getting out of that relationship and finding Erick, only to have him ripped away from her twice.  Now this, whenever something good came into her life, something else was stolen away from her.  She was a child of trauma and every time something like this happened it ripped them open again.
Bruce walked into the room.  Had heard what had happened.  He also knew more of the backstory than James did.  He looked at Bucky sympathetically.  He knelt down next to the two, wiped her arm with a cotton swab, and gave her a sedative.  Her breathing slowed and became more normal.
"Bucky, I don't know how long that sedative is going to last on her.  Her metabolism is starting to rival yours.  Give her time and love."  Bruce said.
"Did you know?"
"About her past?  Yes, she opened up to me as she was helping me in the lab while you were on mission once.  She asked for advice and didn't know how to tell you."
"You told her I can have kids right?"
"That wasn't my information to give out.  She didn't want to take away something you might want and she didn't know what or how to tell you.  I think she was using teaching as a way to kind of take care of that mothering instinct she had.  Since she stopped teaching, she's seemed a little lost.  Mel's been working on things trying to stay busy, she's constantly drawing, you should see all the sketchbooks I've found in little cubbies in the lab.  She needs to be doing something, something with forward momentum, something positive that makes a difference."
"Thanks, Bruce.  I'm going to take her back to our room and stay with her.  We will definitely be talking about things.  I've never seen her like this."
"It's clear as day, she loves you and you love her.  Be supportive and things will work out," Bruce stated as he watched James pick Mel up and start carrying her out the door towards their rooms.
James didn't bother turning the lights on and placed her on the bed.  He smoothed out her hair after taking it out of the ponytail it was in.  He could feel the tension in her muscles.  He kicked off his shoes, not undressing he got into bed beside her and wrapped himself around her.  He was exhausted for her.  He wondered if this was the darkness he saw.  He wondered if just by keeping all this inside of herself was too much for her, just staying in control was exhausting her.  James wanted to fix things for her, he knew he couldn't.  He would stand by her though and help if she wanted it.
—————
Time had passed and it was now morning.  Mel had slept, but it had not been a restful sleep.  James woke before her and waited for her to naturally wake up.  He didn't want to wake her up.  He could see the tear stains on her cheeks evident she had been crying during her sleep.  His impatience was high, he wanted her to wake up, to take care of her.  To let her know she was not alone in all her fear and anger.  To be the man she needed and deserved, he wanted to be that man for her even though he didn't believe he was good enough for her.
She stirred and opened her eyes slowly.  Mel nuzzled into him, not saying anything.  If she could take strength from him she would to take the pain and anger away.  James threw the sheet over their heads to make things even more private and intimate.  A smaller world he could control to keep the rest of the world out.
"Hey," she croaked clearing her throat.
"Hey," he repeated back with a small smile on his face.  She brought up her hand and caressed his beard.  James leaned into it, loving the touch.
"This is my crazy life," she started, "wonderful instances surrounded by chaos and turmoil.  If you still want me, I'm yours.  If not, I'll understand."
"Why wouldn't I want you?" He asked looking hurt.
"You deserve someone who can give you everything, I can't do that for you.  I've seen the way you are with kids, it breaks my heart that I can't give you one."
"Why would I leave you over something like that?  You are so important to me, I'd wish you'd understand that.  And if kids is something you really want, too, we can figure it out together."
"I remember my mom always being sad over not being able to have her own child.  I knew she loved me and was happy to have me, there was always something to the way she looked at children with their birth parents.  It really has stuck with me over the years.  Then add everything else... I'm a hot mess."
"I don't want the fact you can't have kids to be something that ruins us, I can't have kids either."  She looked up as he said this tears were in her eyes.  "I'm not trying to say this to make you feel better, I know you would stay with me regardless of this.  I want to be honest and open with you.  I don't want you to feel like you're alone in all this."  He was wrapping a stray hair around her ear as he said this.  She leaned into his touch.  With his other hand he pinched her ass.
"Ouch."
"Get up," he started, "let's go look at our new rooms and make a plan on what we are going to do."  It was what she needed, a distraction.
—————
The area was bright an sunny, lots of natural light.  He explained he did have one request as they where building it and he brought her through the bedroom to the master bathroom.  That in itself was large with a walk in closet for each of them.  No, he took her deeper in, to the bathroom.
"I made the bathroom based on yours.  The tub is heated but I added jets and an made it into an infinity one.  The shower I made a little bigger to fit the space better and has the same shower heads and steam options yours does."  He was so proud of himself.  She started to laugh hysterically.
"It's perfect, I love it.  I never knew you liked my bathroom so much."
"The floors are heated and I added heated towel racks as well.  The window can go opaque or you can leave it clear with a flip of the switch."  He guided her with his hand on the small of her back.  "And through here, there's space for a studio, extra sinks, I didn't know what you would need for storage so I tried to leave it as blank as possible for you."
She was so touched, he put so much effort into the little things that made the difference.  He clearly wanted her to feel at home, their home.
"So where should we start?" She asked, "clean slate or try to merge the two areas?"
"I can understand keeping some things, like your art items and the piano.  I would really like to start fresh for both of us.  I'm worried about the cost a bit, so I don't think we should really go all out."
"That's not going to be a problem.... I kind of own the building I live in.  My adoptive parents were very well off.  Haven't you noticed I have said anything when I stopped teaching?"  She had a shy grin on her face.
"Yeah, I was kind of wondering that, I didn't want to assume.  Since we are on the subject, not that it matters.... How well off?"
"Umm, like I've been funding the school for years, have scholarships set up for tons of students both for the Haven Institute and colleges, help pay for students' families' legal fees if they are immigrating here, ummmm.... Oh and at least there to four more generations that I would have could live very comfortably."  She was laughing at the end, he was tickling her so hard, she started hiccuping.  She loved his playful side of him.  "Seriously though, are you ok with that?"
"It will take some getting used to, it's not how I was brought up..."
"I really don't want to go back to the studio for a bit.  If that is ok?  Really, I just want my clothes, books, and a few odds and ends from my apartment.  Let's look at bedroom furniture first and expand from there."