maps and constellations | Stray Kids; Chan/Felix

Chapter 3

The rest of the first week passes without any hiccups. From the Los Padres National Forest, they head to Santa Maria, and then to Big Sur State Park, and then Monterey. It's when they hit the Bay Area that things begin to crumble.

It starts with small things. There's a sort of tension in the air. Hyunjin snaps at Minho for taking the last of one of a snack he wanted. Jisung gets uncharacteristically quiet, eyes always far away at mealtimes, smiles small and timid and never lasting for long. It takes a toll on the whole group, and Chan knows everyone feels like they're walking on eggshells. When he tries to approach Hyunjin about it, Hyunjin shuts him down with a terse, "We're fine." Chan tries to corner Jisung over the next few days, too, but he always manages to slip away with a fast excuse or a distraction.

It's hard, too, since they're on vacation. Chan can only spend so long trying to force them to reconcile or at least just talk to him before he just gives up. There's too much else to do, too many other things to worry about, so he lets it fester. He knows it'll become big enough that none of them can ignore it eventually, anyway.

It's not until they've settled into their cabin in the Mendocino National Forest that things spill over. And Chan had expected it. He'd even prepared himself for it. But there's nothing that can stop the gut-dropping feeling of walking into a fight between two of your best friends—especially when those two friends used to fight all the time when you were little, and you had to play referee.

"I heard raised voices," Chan says, opening the door to Hyunjin and Jisung's room in their Airbnb. "Are you guys oka—oh."

Hyunjin looks up from where he's sitting on the edge of the bed, tears still wet on his cheeks, while Jisung stiffens next to his suitcase, back to the door. They all freeze for a second, Chan and his kids, and a problem they don't yet know how to fix. It feels like they're in elementary school again.

"Okay," Chan says after a second. "Hyunjin, go find someone to talk to, please—Changbin, maybe, or Felix. Jisung, you stay here with me." Hyunjin sniffles, moving to stand. "Hey." Chan reaches out and grabs his wrist. "It's gonna be okay. Okay?"

He thinks he manages to sound convincing; either way, Hyunjin nods. Chan lets him go, waiting until his footsteps recede down the hall before turning to Jisung.

"Before you ask," Jisung mutters. "It's my fault."

Chan blinks. "It always takes two, you know that."

Jisung shakes his head. He hadn't been crying before, but now that Hyunjin is gone and he's alone with Chan, his eyes grow glossy. He lowers himself to the floor, tucking his knees into his chest and wrapping his arms around his shins. Chan sits down beside him, hesitating for a moment before running a hand down his back.

"It's just," Jisung says softly. "It's just everything, I guess."

"How did this start?" Chan asks. He has a method now, knows how to mediate conflict resolution between his friends so well he could probably start a business on it.

"We were just talking about the fall," Jisung says softly. "We've been talking about it for the past couple of days, and I keep kind of brushing him off, because it's sensitive, you know? And Hyunjin was saying that he might come visit me sometime, since otherwise we won't see each other until the holidays. And... I don't know, I just don't like talking about it. I don't want to worry about it yet when we could just focus on having fun right now, you know, while we still can? So I was like, 'sure, yeah, we can figure it out later,' and Hyunjin took that to mean I didn't care, or that I didn't want him to come, which isn't true, but then we started talking about that and I mentioned that we should probably focus on, you know, branching out a little, so it's okay if we don't see each other until the holidays since we've seen each other every single day of our lives since like first grade, and it just turned into this big fight, and now I don't know what to do."