Pain & Gain

Chapter 12

~Marshall's P.O.V.~

She left for Rose's about an hour ago. I felt completely lost in my own home without her there. The place is like a house without a roof now, pointless. I couldn't be there alone for long before the depression started to set in. Now, I'm with Rule, walking to the gym. We decided to walk so it would burn more time. The less I think about it the better I feel.

"So she wanted to go to her moms?" He asks, confused.

"Yeah I guess so." I sigh, remembering her words. "She said she had to."

"You're not worried about this?" Rule scratches the back of his head.

"I am." I tell him. "Something's bugging her, but it's like she doesn't trust me anymore." I cringe at the memory, I hate arguing with her. "I tried to get it out of her but she kept on saying it was nothing."

"Damn." Rule states. "I don't know what to tell you. Maybe this thing is too big to tell anyone."

"It can't be worse than last time." I roll my eyes, immediately dismissing the anger rising up in my core. "Could it?"

"I just don't know." Rule shakes his head and we approach the gym.

"I can't think of anything I could've done to upset her." I tell him as we walk down the steps from the bar to the gym.

"You probably didn't do anything man." Rule shrugs his shoulders and uses his key to unlock the gym. "Maybe someone else pissed her off."

"That's the thing," I say, following him in. "she wasn't pissed. She was just like, sad." Rule puts on receiver gloves while I put on throwing ones, and the two of us climb into the ring. "It's different now. It feels different."

"Maybe she's nervous about Emmett coming back." He tries, receiving a few hits on his gloves.

"Don't fucking remind me." I say, my pulse quickening.

"Just a suggestion." Rule laughs. "I doubt that's what it is."

I punch Rule's receivers continuously for the next few minutes. My mind is flashing, running, sprinting. All I see is Emmett and Rachel, Rachel and Emmett. I see his lips on her and feel the rage powering my every punch. I jab fast and upward, aiming for what would be a throat. His throat. God I can't get the fucking idea out of my head. Someone else touching her that wasn't me.
I throw more punches at his hands, my anger now mixing with sadness. My heart violently pumps blood throughout my body and the sweat runs down my face. I grunt, jamming two more to Rule's right hand. I put up my gloves to take another hit but I drop them. My chest begins to feel tingly. No. It's coming.
I pull off the Velcro on the gloves and let them fall off. Rule put his hands down and I wipe the sweat from my face. It's now that I realize it's not sweat. I'm crying. Fuck.

"Hey..." Rule starts but I put up my hand to silence him.

I struggle to breathe, it feels like my lungs are collapsing. More tears come and everything burns. It's been a while since this has happened to me. My ribs ache, stomach clenching and I feel sick. Tears rain down my face but I don't make a sound. Rule's seen this before, a couple times when we were younger. I feel bad he has to see it again but I can't control it.
I stagger back and sink to the floor. I lean back, resting on the corner board, trying to get it together. I roll my head back against the board and breathe heavily, heaving really. I feel like I'm drowning. Rule tries to speak again but I tell him to stop. It will pass. My entire body aches, I feel spent and I want her. I wish she was here. Or do I? Would she comfort me like she always does or would she tell me to get over it? Would she tell me she loves me or tell me it's nothing?

"Dude take a deep breath." Rule tells me despite my orders. "Come on it's gonna be okay."

"What if it's not?" I ask him, my eyes burning from all the crying. "What if she doesn't love me anymore?"