You, Me, Us

Shattered Forevers

7-Adam-15, you're being recalled to the precinct."

Sitting in the passenger's seat of the shop, Lucy looked at the radio in confusion. Their shift had only started a couple hours ago. She and Nolan had just finished their second call of the day. And now they were being called back to the station? Picking up the radio Lucy responded, "7-Adam-15 returning to the precinct." Turning to Nolan, Lucy saw the equally confused look on his face as she set the radio back in place. "What do you think that's about?" she asked as he made a quick U-turn.

"I have no idea. But I guess we'll find out soon."

Lucy nodded, but her mind was already rushing ahead, trying to guess what they could be walking into. There hadn't been any major incidents that might need follow-up during Roll Call that morning. The radio had been quiet, so far, too. Plus the request to return had come through dispatch, not from Sergeant Grey, so she doubted it was anything personal. She reached for her personal phone and shot Tim a quick text.

The drive back to the precinct was short, thank goodness. Less time to conjure worst case scenarios. Lucy did not do well with surprises- at least not ones she didn't plan. Still, as she and Nolan got out and headed inside she found herself fidgeting slightly, hands tapping anxiously at her duty belt. Glancing around the station, she noticed that it was strangely quiet. And whenever she made eye contact with someone they hurried to look away. It was...weird. And only made her more on edge.

"Officer Chen." Lucy stopped, turning towards the sound of her name. Sgt. Grey stood in the doorway to his office. "In my office please." Lucy nodded and started making her way over, Nolan at her side. "Just Officer Chen." Her steps faltered as she glanced worriedly at Nolan. But he just gave her his familiar reassuring smile, whispered 'Good luck', and walked back towards the bullpen.

Crossing the remaining distance, Lucy quickly stepped into Sgt. Grey's office. She distantly noticed that the blinds were closed for a change. Grey closed the door behind her, gesturing for her to take a seat as he moved to the other side of his desk. "Sir? Is everything okay?" Something passed over the man's face, too quickly for Lucy to name it. But it left her with a sinking feeling.

"Officer Chen- Lucy... I regret to inform you that at approximately 10:23 this morning- Sgt. Bradford-"

The world tilted suddenly, because no. It wasn't possible. "Don't say that..." Sgt. Grey looked at her, eyes impossibly sad and Lucy turned to ice. Lucy shook her head, tears and panic rising uncontrollably. "Please don't say that. Anything- anything but that."

Grey shook his head. "I'm sorry, but Sgt. Bradford was killed. There was an altercation. A gun was discharged."

"No. No. He's- We're supposed to-" Her hands scrambled for her pocket, shaking violently as she pulled out her cell phone. Because Tim was fine. He was fine. And when she looked there would be a new message from him. There would be proof that this was all a mistake- a cruel misunderstanding. She pulled up their messages. Her last text, sent at 10:34 that morning, was still unread. "That doesn't mean anything," she insisted, quickly calling Tim's phone.

"Lucy-"

"You're wrong!" And maybe she should have been worried about yelling at her superior, but she couldn't care. Not about that. Not when he was saying that Tim- The call went to voicemail. She hung up and dialed again. It went to voicemail. She dialed again. "He's just busy. He's on a call. He can't-" But the words wouldn't come. Her ears were ringing. Her chest was too tight. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't breathe.

A hand rested on her shoulder.

Lucy sucked in a gasping breath.

Her hands shook and her heart hurt, but somehow she managed to see through her tears enough to call Tim's phone one last time. She prayed- she didn't even know who or what she was praying to, but she prayed. That he would pick up. That he would text her back. That he would come through Grey's door and tell her everything was going to be okay. But he didn't. The call went to voicemail. There were no new messages. Lucy lifted her head and turned to look through the glass walls. Begging him to come walking across the bullpen- to come back to her.

Looking up, tears falling down her face, Lucy met Sgt. Grey's solemn gaze. "Please?"

"I'm so sorry, Lucy."

Heartrending sobs tore through her, and Lucy's world collapsed.

~*~*~

She didn't remember leaving Grey's office.

She didn't remember changing out or leaving the station.

But she remembered the hospital. She remembered walking into a private room. She remembered seeing him. His eyes had been closed and his skin had been too pale. She remembered walking to the bed that he was on, taking his cool hand into her warm one. She remembered pulling back the sheet that covered his chest and seeing bullet holes- three of them.

She remembered how still he was.

~*~*~

Lucy laid awake in bed that night.

Sleep wouldn't come. She didn't want it to. There had never been a single night where she had slept in their bed alone. When being a Sergeant meant Tim pulling long hours, Lucy had stayed at the precinct. She'd ridden in the passenger seat of his shop, even though she technically wasn't supposed to. And when he finally clocked out, they went home together. They got into bed together. And after five years, the idea of falling asleep without him beside her had bile rising in her throat and tears streaming from her eyes.

Rolling onto her side, Lucy stared at the empty space next to her. Her hand reached out and touched the cool blanket, still neat and crisp the way Tim had left it that morning. And now he wasn't coming home. He's never coming home. Lucy jerked her hand back, the soft blanket fibers suddenly felt like a thousand needles stabbing into her skin. She rolled onto her back again, reaching blindly for her phone. She opened her voicemail without even thinking. She only realized what she had done when Tim's voice suddenly filled the room.

'Hey, Baby. I'm running a little late, but I should be home soon. I'm gonna stop and pick up a few things, text me if you want anything. I love you, Luce.'

She went to the next message.

'I know you're mad, Lucy, but please let me know you're okay. You never leave after a fight and I hate that this one made you feel like you had to. Take all the time you need, just please let me know you're safe. I love you and I'm sorry.'

She went to the next one.

'That was cruel, Luce. You better be naked when I get home because after that little stunt? Your ass is mine, baby. Fuck, you're lucky we have the weekend because you won't be able to walk tomorrow, Lucy. Love you.'

She was shaking, quiet sobs wracking her body as she played the last message.

'We're getting married today, Lucy. Fuck, I can hardly believe it. I never thought that I'd be this happy. I never thought it was possible to love someone this much, Baby. But you? Lucy, I love you so fucking much. And I am so grateful that you chose to love me, too. I can't wait to be your husband. I can't wait for you to be my wife. But even without all this- I'm still completely yours, Lucy Chen. See you out there, Beautiful.'

It had felt like a lie, saying death would stop them from loving each other. How could something as mundane as death stop something so life-affirmingly powerful? It wasn't possible to them. So, they hadn't promised 'Til death do us part'. They'd promised 'Forever'.

But now he was gone.

And she was left.

Lying in a bed of broken forevers.