THE LAST WOLF STANDING.

🕛: THE PETALS OF HER NEW LIFE

Ruby's diary

' Dreaming of love, being in love and falling in love might sound similar to some but they are not. Three completely different sentences sounding similar as they are composed of one repetitive word, Love. When I dream of love, I see all the beauty that comes with it. The innocence that it is surrounded with. The never ending purity of belief that it comes to no actualisation of hurt and pain. It keep ones heart safe guarding it like a mother to a baby. It gives you hope that makes you stretch out your hand wanting to catch it only to just pat your palm on thin air. In this stage you always end up asking what is love? Falling in love, it brings you out of your fantasy and into an actual reality where you see the world in Ruby coloured glasses. Here you establish a reality and your heart pumps with not just blood but an endless emotion of euphoria. In this phase we are completely head over heels with no turning back. The brain pumps the gas with no breaks as you keep seeing this endless paradise of utopia the emotion surrounds you with. In this moment the negatives are blocked and the red flags ignored as one settles in a comfort zone of beliefs. Here it makes us wonder Where has love been? The final part of this three triad experience is, Being in love.  An undescribable feeling unexplainable for anybody. With this phase the strongest sense of it is, it makes sense. I know what the hell do you mean? At this point one is able to differentiate reality and fantasy yet still let those two feelings intertwine. The need to keep fighting for an emotion even after the rose coloured glasses are off, even after the struggles and lows keep piling. It's there, it yearns to be forever held on even as it dangles on the edge of a cliff. Being in love creates a beast that wants to keep hunting for the feeling, to trust, to satisfy, to stay alive till the very bitter end. Expressions such a bittersweet swirl around ones heart. And no matter how many reds one sees the urgency to assume is at it's peak. So no matter how many times you walk out of it you shall always find yourself running back in, walking  back in and even crawling back in. To satisfy a nagging ache called loneliness. It never gives you an exit gate that will forever remain closed like dreaming or falling. Cause once you fall getting back up is a demanding task. At this point the question asked is should I keep on trying? This three phases is what we all go through at several points in our lives. It's exciting, thrilling, it demands a lot and we give it a lot. We should all enjoy it, the little crushes, the firsts, the by mistakes, the ones and the endgame. The only question is are we doing it with the right people? '

Blurry vision then dark then blurry then finally awake and clear. Ruby wakes up looking around the unfamiliar yet familiar background full of black and dark red colours  adoring the well arranged room. "Where the hell ... Ouch!! What the hell?" She complains as she rubs her palms on to her forehead trying to sooth her ailing headache. "You are awake!" A voice, distant but familiar echoes as it walks in the room. "You sleep like a dead cow, here take this." Derrick criticizes as he hands over a glass with some weird white foamy substance to her. "How does a dead cow sleep, it's dead?" "Exactly, unbothered, I had to check if you were breathing several times." "Awe So you do care ... " "I don't, the hustle of hiding your dead body was a very motivating." "What time is it?" She asks as she takes a sip of the mysterious drink. "Six thirty ... " Ruby suddenly sprays the mysterious drink all over Derrick's face. "What is that? YUCK!!" "That's what drunkards drink, you nutcase." He almost yells struggling to keep his eyes awake disgusted by the mess on his face dropping down to his thighs.  "What drunkards drink?... Ha! Are you trying to kill me?" "With raw eggs and milk sure why not." Protests Derrick walking off towards what he believes to be his drawers searching for something anything to clean himself.

Feeling guilty for the first time around Derrick, she quickly gets off the bed ignoring the thumping headache which was now to a level three out of five, thank God, grabbing the towel he tries to use on his face wanting to do it for him. "Am sorry okay it tastes horrible, like feet. But on the positive side it does help with your face." she claims chuckling. God the sound was like a warm sun ray after so much cold. Her touch so motherly creating a mellow feeling of comfort and protection something he wanted for so long. Nooo stop it focus Derrick focus. You have been accusing her of hahaha funny just thinking about it in under a bright light, murder. "You have just abused my face. This face doesn't just happen you know. Now will you excuse me and my egged face." He takes the towel from Ruby's hands not letting her finish off. He can't allow himself to look at her at a different light other than that of a classmate. "Again sorry, drunkard? Don't use my mistake to abuse me. I don't drink ... That much ... at all. It was my first time I only did because I was bored." Complains Ruby laying on his bed missing the Marshmello feeling of sinking down her voice slowing down at the end assuming the boy is not listening at all. "Get up, I need to get you to your house before eight, I have a game at East wood high." Says Derrick as he gets out of his dark coloured tiled bathroom face fresh, hair wet. "Wait East wood high ... that's where the gymnastics team is going I forgot. You need to get me out of here now. Just give me a few more minutes I'll wash up ..." "Times up." Shouts Derrick grabbing the black haired girl putting her on his shoulders. "HEY!!Can I at least brush my teeth I still have that fucking after taste in my mouth ..."