Pretty Girls Make Graves

𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒅𝒊𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒆𝒔 𝒊𝒕 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆?

*Flashback*

I grabbed my black satchel bag and chucked it down on my plain duvet covered bed. My mind was racing, i had to get away from home. My hands shaking as i did so, i flung open my wardrobe doors to be greeted by all my clothes launching themselves at me. "Shit!" I cursed, stumbling over the load of jumpers and graphic t-shirts. I crawled my way out, picking a few jumpers as i stood up. My clock buzzed on the dark brown bedside table it sat upon. My eyes widen at the glowing time that was shown on the display.

5:00pm

She would be here any minute from work and if I didn't get out of the house now i would have to spend another hellish week alone with her. I stuffed my jumpers and favourite Mazzy Star t-shirt into my bag and rushed to the bathroom. I scanned my eyes around the old bathroom, looking for my toothpaste and toothbrush. She must of have moved it again, i thought to myself, opening a cupboard that hung over the bathroom sink. I peered in moving round plastic pots of pills to one side of the cupboard. I never realised how many pots of pills she had supposedly hidden in here. There was at least 15 pots of sleeping pills hiding in there.

I thought back to the time when i discovered her giving me an overdose of the pills, to make me get to sleep quicker as a child. From then on i took the pills but stuffed them under my tongue and took them out when she left the room. I never knew how to care my mum after her diagnosis of Munchausen Syndrome. After dad died, mum was left with no one but me to help her get through her grief. So she turned to pretending or forcing herself to become severely ill. This got her the attention she was wanting, but in the wrong way. Obviously, the doctors grew concerned with her frequent visits to the hospital and eventually diagnosed her with the syndrome. They referred to put her into a help group that happened once a week with others going through the same experience. But mum being mum, refused to attend and we moved away shortly after. Still not being able to cope, she slowly started purposely making me ill, again for the same reason of wanting to attract others. She knew that if she made me ill and not herself, the doctors would just assume me to be a mentally ill teenager. Which obviously they aren't wrong in some respect.

I stood up onto my tip toes and saw a glimpse of my red toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste. I carefully grabbed them, making sure to not knock over all the pots and waste time. I shoved them into my bulging bag and rushed down the stairs, not stopping for a breath. I whipped round and stole some cash that was lying on the kitchen table and grabbed a few packets of crisps. I sighed and looked around the house for what i hoped was my last time and checked the time once more. I needed to get moving. I opened the front door to head out but backed back inside. It was freezing and chucking down with rain. "Great timing." I huffed, opening the coat closet and putting on a coat.

I ran out into the small driveway leading up to what was once my home but now was my prison and sprinted as fast as i could. I needed to get to the train station as fast as i could. Where i was going, I had no idea. I slowed down for a brief second to catch my breath, it steaming up my glasses as i breathed out in the biting air. I began running down a dimly lit road leading into the town centre. Once i reached the end i came to a large crossroad and kept running, ignoring a large car coming towards me with speed.

*

"Somebody get her some codeine!" I heard someone shriek from beside me. I sat up, my head feeling heavy and groggy. "Mackenzie lie down." the same voice said sternly. I obeyed and lay back down, looking up at the ceiling. I could feel myself moving, quickly as well. There were people all around me talking in a fast concerned manner. "Ma'am we are the doctors here. Could you please wait in the waiting room please." One of the voices, that sounded male, said. I felt a hand grasp mine. "No. My daughter needs me at all times." I flinched recognising the voice and pulled my arm away. The male doctor huffed "Ma'am you cannot be with her during the emergency operation. Please- will you stand away!" i felt the presence of the two people leave and tried to look around at my surroundings. I could only see blurry outlines of people and equipment. My head rushed from the sudden movement and i gasped from the pain. "If you could lie down, please, so we can look at your head." I heard a female voice say sweetly to me. I lay back down, closing my eyes from the bright light that shone into my eyes.