The Consort of Mordor: a Sauron x Bilbo

Dates and Decisions

When Bilbo woke up the following morning, he slipped out of bed far before breakfast to go to his greenhouse to check on his tomatoes.

The trio of Nazgûl that made up his guard began following him as soon as he walked past them at the entrance, they said nothing naturally, merely following their lord's order to protect him -save one, Tailon, who stayed behind to guard the sleeping faunts.

He frowned as he left the tower, wrapping his linen scarf around his head to cover his mouth and nose -that was something he had found out living here: to always wear a thin scarf in case the volcano started spitting more ash than usual or if the winds were particularly vicious; it was actually a bit embarrassing the amount of times he had been taken by surprise in the earlier months and had to use Sauron's cloak to cover his lower face.

The hobbit had hoped to go for a walk through Barad-dûr with the Dark Lord today, but it was not to be with Mount Doom acting up.

Luckily it only took ten minutes to walk to his greenhouse, so the headscarf was discarded as he checked on the fruit he hoped was ready.

Much to his delight, the tomatoes were indeed ripe, as were the watermelon.

***

If Bilbo had to compare the first day of the Year to today, he would say that the days were utterly different despite being nearly identical.

They sat again on a picnic blanket on the same hill just outside Mordor's borders, the Black Gate just barely visable in the distance.

The Nine once again standing guard in a circle around them -their presence no longer threatening now that he had befriended a few of them (or at least he hoped he had, he spent an awful lot of time with the Sisters and Tailon after all to not be friends).

Frodo and Sam, both awake and happy and young (with sticky faces from sliced watermelon that they were too busy to wipe off despite Bilbo's slight nagging), were braiding wildflowers into crowns for everyone present -wraiths included, several of them already had crowns of columbine and yarrow on their hooded heads.

Even the Dark Lord seemed gentler, no longer seemingly like a brutish force of evil -but who could look evil with forget-me-nots tied to his spiked crown.

The hobbit even managed to feed him a few nibbles of tomato sandwich, a light blush gracing his face when the maia licked some stray pesto mayonnaise off the smaller's fingers.

Bilbo nearly laughed at the thought that if you would have told him two years ago that he would soon be going on dates with Sauron willingly, he would have thought you insane, but here he was, flirting with Mairon and getting flirted back to as if it were the most normal thing in the world because it was now.

It truly was amazing how a year could change someone, or at least change their perspective.

When he had first been young and once respectable despite his Took blood, he had gone from being concerned with dolies and handkerchiefs and other proper hobbitish things to being a burglar, riddling a dragon and falling in love with a dwarven king all in the course of the year long Quest to Reclaim Erebor.

Now, young again yet still so old, it took only a year to fall in love with Mairon and be okay with the thought of spending the rest of his life living with him in Mordor.

This time he could not help but giggle at the thought of taking Sauron back to the Shire, even if it was just to put his and Frodo's affairs in order; Lobelia would probably have a heart attack at how utterly unrespectable his choice in partner was -and probably smack said Dark Lord over the head with her ever-present parasol.

If he pit them in a fight against one another, he could not say with certainty who would win that battle, she might even win against Morgoth out of pure spite alone especially if given context on who he was.

"What makes you laugh, my love?" Mairon asked, curious

"Just a thought I had." Bilbo replied, sharing the idea of Lobelia Sackville-Baggins fighting Morgoth

Bilbo very rarely heard the maia chuckle, so he was taken by surprise when he started belly laughing.

"I can guarantee, precious, that Melkor would be too stunned to fight back if pitted against her in the Dagor Dagorath, you cousin very well might win that battle." Sauron finally said when he calmed down, "Sending in any of the others Mandos' prophecy listed would be excessive."

They were silent for awhile after that, merely enjoying each other's presence and the weather and the sight of Frodo making the Witch King put on a crown of poppies.

Eventually, Bilbo laid his head on the maia's lap, feeling the older being freeze at the unfamiliar position before relaxing and beginning to stroke his curls.

"I would like to make a habit of this." Mairon commented, "Especially when the terraforming of Mordor is completed."

"That sounds nice." Bilbo agreed

***

They continued to ignore the oliphaunt in the room all day, instead moving to talks about how to make their courting a bit more proper.

"What courting traditions do the Ainur have?" Bilbo asked, sitting on his armchair

"There are not any." The Lord of Mordor answered, "The majority of the valar married before the elves first woke, there were no celebrations it merely happened; most of the maiar never married. The only one I know of that married outside our station, Melian of Yavanna, adopted the traditions of her elvish husband."

"Then I'll share mine with you." The writer said, "A fun one is that you would have to out-drink the head of my family for permission to court me, but I'm the head of my family and you aren't affected by liquor so that doesn't count. Hmm, and you have already shown you can provide for me with the recreated Bag End and giving me a greenhouse. And us running off for a few weeks and returning married like nothing happened does not seem very practical given the circumstances."

"Indeed." Sauron agreed, "Governance is very inconvenient like that."

"Well, I think we can say our courting is proper enough." Bilbo nodded, "Is there anything your people do for weddings?"

"Yes, but it is a simple and short ceremony that can be incorporated into a hobbit wedding if you would prefer that?" Mairon answered

The hobbit shook his head, "Absolutely not, I do not like large parties."

"Then an Ainur style wedding it is, it is incredibly simple we could do it tonight," The Dark Lord said, before adding, "or tomorrow or whenever you would prefer."

"I will answer that after you answer my question." Bilbo replied, "What choice did you make?"

A/N: What choice do ya'll think he made? Comment your thoughts.