In the Deep

Chapter 22

             Laughing and chatting loudly with my sister and her mother is a great reminder that I might not be in  the best situation but I am still have a great support system. Just the feel of Nichole rubbing my face and the broad smile on her face show that she genuinely cares for us. I can't remember the last time my mother even laughed with me much less a snicker. This gave me a shitty feeling because it's not easy feeling like your the problem in the situation. How could she ask me to choose between them when she didn't choose me.
       " you ok baby?" Nichole's voice peirce through my train of thoughts.
       " yea I am OK" I gave her a genuine smile
      " Ants you speech done, so wah more you a worry over ?" My sister voiced her irritation for my active roll I paly at school and I knew that's where thos was heading
      " mi good shan!" My irritation spilled over also, not everyone wanted to be a socialite or a party girl like my sister who I am polar opposite from when it comes to career choice.
        " hello unno no start di foolishness enno" Nichole voiced
      " we good" we both laughed out knowing out bantering wasn't that deep.
         "What are we going to eat ?" Mum asked as she poured herself a glass of wine
       " pizza mi want!" Shan shouted
" mi to but mi want some wings wid it " I chimed in remembering I didn't get to eat this morning.
       I haven't even heard from Justin since I told him I got home safely, guess he as more important things going on, since he doesn't miss me I plan on staying here as planed tonight.
        " I want cheese sticks" Mum add we all wanted it but it se nobody was making a move to order it.
        I took that as my que "I will call dominoes" I rolled my eyes at my sister who face lit up at my words.
     I dialed the number to domino's and wanted for someone to pick up.
     After our order was made a d diluvery time set. We started to scroll through HBO to find something to watch.
        "You invite your mother to graduation?" Nichole words stung my ears
      Shaking my head trying to form words " why should I when she didn't show up to the one two years ago?" I questioned  looking straight into her eyes so she could see my hurt and sadness from all the years of being cast aside by my maternal.
          " hey, come here" she pulled me down on her shoulder " you are a great girl who as come so far, you ate bright and have so much greatness to accomplish" her words brought Me to tears "try your best because in the end you will regret not trying at all" she hugged my tightly and Shan jumped in the couch and pile on.
      " unno depressing enno" her words made me laugh " come mwk we drink some wine and wait on the slow pizza man" as she head to the kitchen her phone started to ring she pulled it out and answered
      " HI bbe!" I could tell she is smiling even tho her back is turned to me. Thats like his third call since we have been here and a i got was two blue ticks indicating he read My text.
      After forever the pizza arrived me and Nichole went out and collected it seeing as Shan was still in the kitchen on her phone.
      Looking across the way to see if my mother or father was outside. I only found that a few lights were on but no one in sight. Taking a deep breath a turned around and went back inside with our food.
        Finding a movie proved to be harder than anticipated, neither me nor mum could come to a d agreement on what to watch a few mins of yes and no until Shante appeared with to glasses and a bottle of white wine.
     "You took your precious time with this ." I spike taking the glass from her hand
    " yea my baby misses me" her yes twinkle and I had to smile too.
     " what we Watching?" To which I gave her alook that said  "MI NO KNOW !!" She grab. The remote
" mek wi watch death becomes her " she scrolled until she found the movie and played it.
        We ate pizza and drank wine as we watch the movie unfold. This night was exactly what I needed, with all that is going on I really needed a drama free night. Not thst it stopped me from thinking of him any at all. This time apart is really giving me prospect. Does he really care about me? Because he Beggs me not to leave but ignores me when I am around until it suits him. He ignores my texts and as little to no communication.
          Pulling myself from the thought of that infuriating man I put my attention back on the TV wishing my life was not as scripted cause honestly half the things that happen in my life only happen in teenage drama series.
      I haven't heard from my dad since the day on the road. He hasn't tried to contact me either and I am really worried about him. His action that day was nothing like the man I grew up to know even when my mother was treating me like dirt he tried his best to make sure I was taken care of. I wish I knew how to make them both care for me a d put me first but I don't want to be the one constantly fighting for them to be apart of my life. Why am I guilt tripping? I have to personally rihgyt here that loves me unconditionally and I am here pinning over the ones that don't. Putting the thought of my failed parents and boyfriend d to the far back of my mind I turned my attention back to the TV and made and effort to enjoy the ones that showed up for me.

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