Colorfully Love [Series 1 ]

2 Its risky but worth to try?

Should I ask or not? I mean we are friends and share a lot besides the things Couples are doing. But maybe it's right the thing we need. Since we aren't Soulmates, but can learn how to love each other. Our interest are the same, we dislike same things, okay more like more then the half. We can talk free to each other. We respect each other and care for the other one. Maybe that's the right way to save ourselves from being dragged into the nowhere. But what if I make him take distance like that, or worse he won't agree and just stop all connect to me? What then?

There are many things what speaks for the idea, and even if the things what are speaking against it aren't a lot and harmful. If I risk and ask I may loose the best friend I ever had. An important person. What should I do. Okay... I will risk it.

"Jimin?" I sit up somewhat exited yet pretty nervous. " What do you think about if we try to be a couple and learn how to love each other besides like Friends?" Its clear, he's taken aback by my sudden question. With a flop he's on his butt infront off me with wide open eyes. It's only the movie that's sound in the room the scream in fear is louder than anything else.

I have the feeling as if the world slowly stops and the screams on the TV are getting silent. It's just me and my thoughts right now, and a shocked Jimin indeed too. So what now, what should I do? Have I to start to laugh and say it was a joke. The fear is too much overwhelming me right now. I can't think straight anymore. I know I'm not a gift and can be really complicated sometimes, have too many questions and wonder about things to much too. Maybe I'm going on his nerves already but the friendship between us is to important so he can't get a rid of me. But now he will have a good reason to leave me.

Damn, what did I do?

I want to call for him but its like my voice been stuck in the throat. I feel numb out of fear." Wait. What?" Finally he manages to say something. He sounds pretty shocked though. Oh Daria, really? What a Sherlock you are." I-I." Is it all what you're able to say or what? Eighteen years back than you already have been able to say that too. So now we are going to learn how to speak from the very beginning?

"I- You." Oh nice new one. Come on Daria gather yourself together and got it straight. You can't let him hang like this. Rubbing my hands against the Fabrik on my thighs, I try again to talk to Jimin." I mean. Uhm, I was think and the idea hit in my head earlier and you know, we know each other already many years and maybe we won't meet our Soulmates but maybe we can learn how to love each other." I rant at him like I'm a rapper by profession.

Jimin falls again silent but this time his eyes leaves mine and he looks aside. He scratch the back of his head and drop than his hand down on the mattress. I feel my heart pounding in my ears. Taking a deep breath I try to calm myself down.

Come on, Nothing bad can happen.

Yeah, I only can loose my best fried that's all. The sarcastic hits me. The war between my heart and brain has began and nothing may stop it beside Jimin. He's still silent but looking at his face its clear he's thinking about something. Hopefully about my offer and not how to leave me alone and never talk to me. But what if he won't agree. I have than to look for a new Job and maybe College since we're going to the same one. Nine years of friendship would be thrown away just by my stupidity.

Oh I have to change than my Name as well. What About Alexis? Hm, sounds okay but I don't look like Alexis, it won't match to me. I have to look up at the net for a new name for me. Maybe I should start to think of how I persuade my parents to change my name and maybe move to somewhere else?

I start too loose any rational thinking. I'm loosing myself. How do I make the things now as if they never happen at all?

"You think that it will work out? But what if we won't and what then? I'm afraid about our friendship Daria. What if we fight so hard , it ruins everything including our friendship?" Finally he's talking again. To be honest I'm a bit shocked that he actually have thought about the offer.