The Summer Before

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Tessa

The heat of Levi's hand against my skin had my pulse racing. His friend Sid was still flirting openly with me, but I didn't care, not when Levi was this close with his hand so close to where I craved his touch.

I had decided earlier that I was going to continue this little game, let him in, get what I needed from him, then discard him as he did to me last summer. Payback is a bitch, after all. But the way he grabbed me so possessively under that table like he owned me, like I was his- that thrilled me.

It made me want things I knew I could never have, not with Levi anyway. The idea that he wanted anything other than a round or so in bed was laughable.

My head knew better than to dream of something I couldn't have. That didn't stop my heart from craving it, though, wanting what I thought I had with Levi last summer.

I chanced a look his way and instantly regretted it. What I saw only made my heart more optimistic. There was something there in Levi's gaze that made me think for one tiny moment that he wanted it too, that he wanted me- all of me.

The thought made me bold. I reached a hand under the table and set it on top of his. I brushed his skin lightly before taking his hand in mine, squeezing gently- a small sign of affection- just to see how he'd react.

The pained expression that crossed his face hurt me. It was almost as if he was feeling everything I was tenfold, and it scared him. His eyes gave away all he was feeling at that moment- hope, pain, sadness, nostalgia.

I was torn away from the moment when Sid's thumb stroked my free hand as my cards lay face-down on the table.

I quickly reminded myself that this thing with Levi was just a game- to both of us. There were no real feelings, just two people hellbent on winning this game we started regardless of who would get hurt.

Letting go of Levi's hand, I turned to Sid, noting the look of anger that flashed in Levi's blue eyes as he looked at his friend. I couldn't dwell on what that look meant. Deep down, it probably meant nothing.

It's just a game, Tess.

It's all just a game.

I faced Sid with a smile.

"You are gorgeous," he told me, once again sliding his eyes down my body.

Tilting my head, I gave my sultry reply. "Thank you, handsome. You're not so bad yourself."

I ran one finger down his arm as I batted my eyes at him.

I don't have any idea what came over me or why I did it. Sid was attractive, sure. But I had zero interest in him. Zero.

The confusing thoughts that were circulating in my head about Levi had to be to blame. If he hadn't started this stupid game and played dirty, making me believe he had actual feelings again, I wouldn't have entertained the idea of flirting with Sid, or any other guy for that matter.

This was his fault, really. He was to blame for turning me into the girl who desperately tried to get a guy's attention by resorting to provocation. I was baiting Levi by flirting with Sid.

Why?

I did it hoping to provoke his jealous side and force his hand. If he had any true feelings for me, the possessive caveman in him would win out. Right?

"Stop flirting with my sister, Sid." Jason saved me from myself at that moment.

His voice cut through my internal monologue and forced me to pay attention to what was happening around me. I decided to push away my intrusive thoughts about Levi and enjoy what was left of the night.

Sid still flirted from time to time, but he reined himself in after a warning glare from Jason- and Levi.

After another hour, everyone was starting to get tired. Jason declared the night was over and let everyone know they were welcome to stay if they needed. The only ones who took J up on his offer were Landon and Charlotte.

Everyone else quickly dissipated, saying their goodbyes as they walked out the door. Landon was passed out on the couch as soon as his head hit the pillow, snoring loudly as his limbs sprawled around him.

Charlotte giggled as she staggered to the bedroom with Jason's help. "Goodnight, everyone. I had an ah-maz-ing time!"

I chuckled at my friend as she disappeared down the hall. My buzz from earlier was wearing off, and I was starting to feel the thick tension in the air again as I was left alone with Levi.

I could feel him close behind me even without looking. It took everything I had not to turn around and face him, unsure of what I'd see in his eyes when I did.

The room was quiet as I started cleaning up the table, needing to do something to distract myself from the man I was agonizing over.

"You can go to bed, Tessa. I'll clean this up." Levi's voice was soft and close.

I shook my head. "It's okay. I don't mind. Really."

With both hands full of empty plates and cups, I made my way to the trash bin, unloading my haul. I spun around, not realizing Levi was right there. I bumped into him, and scrambled to keep myself upright.

He grabbed my waist, steadying me with his strong arms, preventing me from falling over. My chest heaved as I looked into his eyes, seeing the same torn expression I had before.

I suddenly had an overwhelming desire to lean up and kiss him. So, I did.

Just before our lips could connect, he closed his eyes and gently pushed away. "You should get some sleep, Tessa."

I shot him a puzzled look as I pulled back further. The disappointment was evident on my face. He wanted this; I knew he did.

Then, why did he stop me?

To save myself more embarrassment, I nodded, quickly dropping my face away from his before hurrying up to my room.

I shut the door behind me, leaning my head against it as tears pricked the corners of my eyes. It hurt- rejection. But somehow, being rejected by Levi was so much worse than any rejection I'd felt before.

He wanted to play the game. He wanted me to cave first. Now that I have, I feel like this game just got much more complicated.

Maybe this was his plan all along- to get me to cave, then turn me down just to embarrass me. The look in his eyes tonight suggested otherwise, though.

Could he possibly feel something real?

No.

I stopped myself from thinking about it. Reality would hurt less if I didn't get my hopes up. There was no way Levi had actual feelings for me.

A tear fell down my face.

But my feelings for him never truly went away. 

A/N: 

Sigh. When will these two get their shit together... Why did Levi push away? Will Tessa say screw it and make him face her? Find out next time!