The Summer Before

Chapter Fifty-Two

Tessa

Everything that had happened with Levi weighed on my mind as I made the trip back to Raleigh for Colin's birthday. His confession about last summer still stung, but it's hard to ignore my feelings for him that never went away.

He's hard to forget, especially when he's making an effort to make things up to me. After his surprise appearance in Surf City, I took time to clear my head and sort through my ever-evolving feelings for him. My heart is still set on Levi Daniels, but my head keeps telling me to be cautious.

I started to let him in again, texting him to show that I was open to communicating, talking to him nearly every day since, and making my decision that much harder. What if I let him in again and things go wrong? What if he changes his mind about us?

I'm not sure if my heart could take it. Loving Levi is the scariest thing I've ever done, and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to stop, even if it hurts, even if it shatters what's left of my heart.

I wasn't lying when I told him I was excited to see him this weekend. I am. More than I probably should be. The closer I get to Raleigh, the closer I get to him, I start to feel a familiar tingle. It's a mix of excitement, nervousness, and elation- something I haven't felt since last summer.

Levi called me last night just to talk. We stayed on the phone for over an hour, just sharing how our days had gone, hinting that we should catch up when I'm back in town. When I spoke to him last, I still hadn't decided where I was staying. I didn't make that choice until this morning, and I'm still not certain it's the right one.

Guess I'll find out after this weekend if it was a mistake or not.

The drive went faster than I expected, probably because I was so lost in my head to notice the time ticking on my dash. I know Levi is expecting an answer from me about what I want to do regarding our relationship. I'm still not sure I have one.

Part of me is hoping I'll get clarity after this trip. Maybe seeing Levi will spark something in me that will make it obvious what I should do. Or maybe I'll leave here more confused than I already am. I hope it's the former. My nerves can't take much more of this back-and-forth that's warring inside me.

I pull up outside the familiar building, hoping I made the right choice in this at least. I park my car and grab my bag, making my way up the path. Before I raise my fist to knock, the door opens, and I'm met with a smiling face.

"Welcome home, sweetie."

A wide smile curls over my lips as I lean in for a hug. "It's good to be back. Thanks for letting me stay here this weekend."

Mom drops her arms, smiling sweetly back at me. "There's always a place for you here, baby. You know that."

I nod as we step inside. The house looks like it always has, with pictures of us on the wall and lines inside the doorframe leading to the kitchen, marking Jason's and my heights each year. The air smells faintly of vanilla from one of Mom's candles, and I can hear the sound of a game playing on Dad's TV in the den.

Yeah, this was the right choice.

I bask in the familiarity of the setting as Mom tells Dad I'm home. She shuffles past, squeezing my hand before dipping into the kitchen to start making lunch.

A strong hand spins me around, pulling me into a bear hug as the familiar scent of my dad's cologne wafts over me. "I'm glad you're home, kiddo."