The Summer Before

Chapter Forty-Seven

*One week ago*

Levi

It's been a week since Tessa left. I haven't talked to her since that night, not for lack of trying. Her friends refuse to give me her phone number so I can call her and explain how sorry I am for everything I've done.

I practically begged Colin to hand over her number or at least let me know how she's been doing, but he threatened violence if I didn't leave him and Tessa alone. Micah was more reasonable, at least. He wouldn't give me Tessa's number because of Colin, but he told me she made it home safely.

I tried to get him to tell me more, but he was hesitant. After nearly breaking down, telling him how worried I was, he reluctantly said she told Colin and Leah that she was fine, but he had a feeling she was hurting more than she let on. That fucking killed me.

Tessa was hurting, and it was all my fault. All I wanted was to talk to her, to find out if there was even the slightest possibility that I could fix things between us. It was starting to look like I'd never get that chance, not if her closest friends had anything to do with it.

I couldn't even check on her through social media because she'd blocked me on everything. And her friends' pages were locked up tighter than Alcatraz. My only hope was that she'd reach out to me. I told Micah he could give her my number if she wanted to get ahold of me.

A small part of me hoped that she would. After a few days, that hope started to dwindle. By day seven, it was all but gone. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach that she never would.

I've really lost her this time.

~

When Jason and Charlotte returned from their honeymoon, they were all smiles. I didn't want to bring them down with my mood, so I put on a fake smile and asked how everything went.

They shared their favorite moments, gushing about how beautiful everything was and how they never wanted to leave. It sounded amazing. It sounded like the perfect place for two people in love to continue their story. Something I could have had with Tessa.

Now, she hates me.

I tried to keep the heartache off my face, but I don't think I succeeded. Jason eyed me curiously as Charlotte talked about their last night in paradise. He knew something wasn't right.

When Charlotte went to bed that night, J approached me, asking if something was wrong. I told him no. He was unconvinced, but he dropped the issue for the night.

After a few days, he stopped letting me brush him off. One night, we were surfing through channels after dinner when he caught me off guard. Char was meeting up with some of her friends from school, so it was just the two of us. A perfect opportunity for him to ambush me.

"Okay, dude, what the fuck is going on?"

"What are you talking about, J?"

He leveled me with a sharp glare. "You know exactly what! Since Char and I got back from the honeymoon, you've been a mess, man. You're hardly here, mentally. And when you are, you try to hide behind that fake-ass smile."

I winced, knowing he was right.

"What's going on, Levi? Did something happen after the wedding?"

Fuck.

I huff, sitting up to rest my elbows on my knees. He's not going to let this go. I know that already. I just don't know where to start.

"It is about Tessa, isn't it?" Jason asks lightly.

I can't look at him. Thinking about everything that happened hurts. And I can already feel the wetness in my eyes.

I sniff quickly, trying to pull myself together, bracing for what's to come. Jason deserves the truth, even if I get my ass kicked for what I did. I owe him an explanation for my behavior over the past year.

When I feel like I can speak, I take a deep breath. "I fucked up, man."

J nods, waiting for me to continue.

Looking up at the ceiling, I take another long breath before confessing what happened last summer. "I don't think I can fix it this time," I start.

"It started last summer..." I make myself tell the tale, leaving out the gritty parts of my night at the lake house with Tessa- Jason doesn't need those details. I told him how happy I was and how I felt about her. Then, I share what I saw the following morning, how I got back at her at the bar.

I talk about what's transpired this summer- minus the steamy details- and how my feelings resurfaced. When I walked through the last night Tessa was here, I dared to look at my best friend. His face is stony. He looks pissed, and I can't blame him one bit.

"So, that's why I look like someone kicked my dog. Tessa's gone, and I don't think she'll ever speak to me again."

I look at J again. He hasn't said a word, and it's extremely concerning.

He may really kick my ass.

I'd deserve it.

I swallow hard, waiting for him to say something- anything. When he finally does, I flinch.

"Are you fucking kidding me!"

He's pacing around the room in front of me, shaking his head. "Every time I brought up Tessa's name after that night, you fucking lost it on me, telling me you didn't want to hear her name, how you didn't give a shit what she did or how she was doing!"

J let out a dark chuckle. "I tried to tell you the next morning when we were packing up to head home. I tried to tell you about the morning before- about Benji's charade. But as soon as I said Tessa's name, you freaked the fuck out on me."

He stopped pacing, crossing his arms in front of me. "I thought you were just having a bad day. I knew something was up between you two, but I thought it would blow over, that you two would figure it out. Then you turned into the asshole you've been for the last year."

I winced at the truth in his words. Every time he brought Tessa up, it wounded me. It hurt just hearing her name, so I flipped out on anyone who'd bring her up, or I'd tune them out. If I'd only listened, this whole mess could have been sorted out long ago.

"You're a fucking asshole, dude."

My eyes closed, and my head fell. "I know," I whispered.

"And the biggest dumbass I've ever met."

I nodded. "I know."

"The past year could have been so different if you didn't have your head so far up your ass," he continued.

I let out a humorless laugh. "I'm such a fucking idiot."

"Yeah, you are," J said. "Now, how are you going to fix it?"

A/N:

Who thought big bro J was going to kick Levi's ass? 

Find out in the next chapter what happens in Surf City. 

👀