confession

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Jack to me behind some prayer flags, knowing that was where we like to make out.   He kissed me three times first gentle, the next loving and the last deeply and passionately me.   Then he pulled away from as if one of us something wrong.   "Alex Lea, I have something to tell you."   He looked a ghost of him self.  That's when he said he was in love.... With someone.  A Sherpa girl named poppy and that poppy was carrying his love child while I couldn't  keep his children.

I felt inadequate because of his cheating.

When I tried run and leave he said that he will get me up Everest as log i  not to mention poppy at all. 

I got out of his grasp and ran.  Tears running I could help but cry as I ran. 

I always had self esteem issues since my time in catholic elementary school.  Being called ugly and stupid.  I hate these thoughts saying these things to me in my mind.  

"I stupid and ugly ......worthless."  And I swore that if jack touched me I was going to scream rape.   Little did I know someone's listening.

When I was asleep in my tent I thought that jacks was with poppy, until he came in and forced himself on me.    Christ I thought I had to join the me too movement.  Then someone attacked jack..... he was a Sherpa who was listening to my self pitty.  He looked lovingly at me.

"Me....karma Tashi."   He came to hold my hand and he kissed every knuckle.   " love you" he said and then leaving.   I have seen karma around many times.  But this time he'd give me wildflowers and greet me with a kiss.    This is the first that I had thoughts of someone so intensely.   He had a beautiful smile and personality. 

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