Sad Buddhist nun

Full circle

I kept writing letters of apology to my parents about my lifestyle back way back when when I was with Jack and that I was repentant of what I have done. After I know on that my new husband had been a murderer for the Japanese mafia. Period I ended up not hearing from them but I ended up going to their house and that's when I saw my mother waiting for me she was smiling at me so it's OK everything's gonna be fine your father is stubborn but I am not i forgive. It was refreshing to be forgiven by my mother. She said you can still have love in your life but you have to find the right places.
She saw my daughter she said that my daughter was very beautiful for who she was not that my parents were racist but they didn't expect is such a beautiful daughter granddaughter that was.. My father  calling her the sheriff or the dumb Tibetan one of the two that was very harmful to her self-esteem and I told my father that she had her name and it was Poppy and poppy deserves respect. It took him a few weeks to get it through his head that she needed to be respected as a human being.   . I ended up staying with my parents with my daughter until my mental health and my financial situation was able to allow me to get on my feet and move out on my own where I can be able to be my own person. Not that my mother wasn't letting me be my own person but my father was always downplaying party and party I thought deserve nothing more than respect and kindness. If you want to do the same shit that I went through and I thought that she needed to be respected.
I got a job and I got my first paystub I ended up walking out of the house my parents' house and I owned or rented a house I couldn't remember and none of them living there until I found someone new in my life someone who wasn't going to be a screwup. That person was a goth guy I didn't think my parents were going to enjoy his company but he turned out to be a very nice guy and when I Introduced him to my parents they allowed him into their lives as well this guy was named Raven and Raven was allowed into my parents alive as well as mine. Pavia on the other hand I know what a goth was and I had to tell her it's just a way of looking like something Raven had many tattoos and many piercings black lipstick black hair pink eyeshadow which was unusual for a guy as well as he was skinnier than a rake. But it was a lot better than half the man that I had to deal with in Nepal.
I'm at Raven on Facebook dating when we were just chatting and we met and the next thing though we end up falling in love. It was very quick to fall in love with him he had a great personality and he was not spiritual religious he was just playing simple And was simple and his philosophy is what is it you're a good person you get what you deserve. He was very happy to be with me he said that he was an empath and a clairvoyant. And that he had a good impression of me when he saw my picture. I ended up going off at that time and then it up growing off and ended up being a in love with him I wasn't going to switch styles because he happened to be of that style but to express my story in life I was going to be Gothic because I was over uni background not genetically or anything but just emotionally and I wanted to express it that way.   I learn many ways to be Gothic that you don't have to be doing gloom you just have to dress it. I was very happy to be with Ray when he was very nice. When we first made love I had to have my daughter out of the house so I can make love to him. He was the same age as me 33.
Why and he said that I was his death metal queen or black metal queen yen in the really going at it and start making love to me passionately and making love to me in a way that I've never been in any which way or form.
After we made love we ended up having a date night and that's why he just thought he was gonna pop the question and I've been popped the question too many times and I said OK fine I'll marry you instead of screaming I do.
When I said OK instead of what I do he thought of it as I do and ended up planning a big kiss on my lips and then deeply kissing me. He was a frisky one that one. I was so sad and that I haven't met him before. Especially when he said that he had seen me around the neighbourhood along time ago but didn't know how to approach me. That was really sad I could've avoided a lot of drama by noticing him.
From what I remember of Raven he was named Doroca very Doroca because he was a nerd a science nerd and a all out geek and was a little on the stupid side. It didn't turn me on in the least not as a friend either until I met him on Facebook dating then we ended up chatting and that's why he was Gothic.  
I told him that I had a lot of dramas and traumas in my life he said well I have the same kind of shit I've been around the block two kind of thing. And that's when we kissed again. He told me he wasn't one for Buddhism or religion so I had to give that up which I was happy to do. No he was in the crystals and healing crystals in star he was not one for Buddhism or religion.