Us, Halfway

11 | Narration

A U R E L I A

Humahangos na dumating si Cyrus dito sa hotel lobby. Beads of sweat could be seen on his forehead and it was obvious that he was so tired.

The sight of him like that weighed down on my heart. It hurt me. He was so worried about me and he really went out in the middle of the night just to look for me.

Nakakaguilty.

"Bebi!"

Still, I called him. And still, he looked at me.

At kahit halatang galit na siya no'ng mag-usap kami kanina, isang buntong hininga at ngiti pa rin ang ibinigay niya sa akin. He ran to me as fast as he could and engulfed me in his embrace.

"I was so worried about you!" Cyrus exclaimed as he tightened the hug.

I felt a lump forming in my throat. Dinig na dinig ko ang labis na takot sa boses niya. Para bang naisip niyang wala na ako? Na parang iniwan ko na siya kahit malabo namang mangyari 'yon.

Tears. I felt it on my shoulder. And it made me cry too.

Being pregnant was our dream but neither of us thought that it would be this difficult. We never thought that we will encounter such weird cravings from me. We never thought I'd be this moody.

Most of the times, I feel guilty.

Kung ako ang papililiin, hindi ko rin naman gustong pahirapan si Cyrus nang ganito. He doesn't deserve even a bit of all these frustrations, cravings, and mood swings from me. But what could I do when that's the downside of being pregnant? Of building a family?

"I'm sorry," I muttered as I buried my face on his chest.

Hindi ko siya maharap. Things got out of hand today and I don't know if I'll still be able to tell him my cravings after this.

"It's okay. What's important is that you're safe now. Nag-alala lang talaga ako. You weren't there when I woke up and I couldn't reach your phone either."

Kumalas si Cyrus sa yakap noong marinig ang mga hikbi ko. Nanatili lang akong nakatungo. Hindi ko siya matignan sa mata.

"Look at me, love," he gently told me while holding my chin.

"I can't..." I mumbled and avoided his hand.

Cyrus sighed before gathering my face in his palms. Halatang galing lang siya sa pag-iyak noong tignan ko pero may ngiti naman sa labi nito.

"Stop feeling guilty, baby. All of this comes along with us wanting to build our family," he told me with a warm smile that makes me fall in love with him everytime.

"Kasi naman eh. Hindi ko lang mapigilan..."

"I know. So I am telling you right now that  it's okay. I'm okay. Nabigla lang ako sa mga nangyari pero ayos lang lahat, promise. If this happens again on our second baby, then I'd be willing to do weird things again. This is for you and for our child, after all."

I pouted. Sigurado ba siya? Ayos lang ba talaga lahat?

"Hindi ka magfafile ng annulment, ha? Baka mas maging weird ako sa next pregnancy eh."

A chuckle escaped his lips as he captured mine with it. With his kisses, he made me feel better. No words were said with our lips locked together but it was more than enough to bring peace to my troubled heart.

"You're the love of my life. I will never file for an annulment just because of your weird cravings. Instead, I'll get you pregnant again and do all weird stuff again. Everytime, baby. Okay?"

"I love you," I told him sincerely.

And once more, he enveloped me in his arms as he whispered how much he loves me and our baby.

"I love you more than anything. I love you more than the frustrations, more than the weird cravings, and more than your mood swings."

Just like that, all my worries dissipated into thin air. The effect of Cyrus on me, really.