I've made some stupid joke I can't even remember now and we're laughing.
I've turned my head towards the ceiling still laughing
You think it's because I'm so amused
You think I've "thrown my head back in laughter"
But ya know I don't really think anything's funny
I've turned my head upwards both in a silent prayer and to avoid your prying eyes
You laugh still completely absorbed in it
Not noticing that mine has become increasingly and disturbingly forced
And who could blame you
After all you can't see my face
All you can hear is my wheezy laughter echoing around the room
But I notice
I know I'm not really laughing anymore
I'm only mimicking
But really all I want to do is leave
I want to leave
But instead I make some half hearted joke
You eat it up
And I pray that it's covered up whatever it is that's wrong with me
Because all you hear is the joke
Not the desperate chant of please please please like me like me like me
You don't realize that I'm telling you some mediocre joke
To make up for the fact that I have absolutely nothing to offer
But I do I realize and I'm sickened all the more so I joke all the more
And you turn to me and smile once you can quell your laughter
After all we're just joking around