Cecily (Prince!SteveRogers AU)

5

It's not long before Steve appears, still in his wedding attire. He gives his mother a small nod for her to leave, and she pats his arm as she goes out.

I can tell she is silently worried for him, even if her face doesn't show it. Her is her only son and heir, and tomorrow he rides out to war.

I stand from where I've been seated on the edge of the bed, waiting nervously. My hands clasped tightly together as if they stand a chance of protecting me.

He shrugs off his jacket, boots and then pulls his tunic over his head. I look away, finding a random stone on the floor to focus on, yet I am aware my whole body is shaking by now.

Steve says nothing to me, but instead crosses the room to where there is a pitcher of wine, pouring out two cups before passing one to me. "I'm not going to hurt you Cecily, and if I do then it won't last long".

I nod but say nothing, if anything I want it to be over with.

Finally, he puts his cup down and moves towards me. I remember Sarah's words about letting him lead and wait to see what he does. Gently, he cups my face and kisses me, the taste of the wine still on his lips. I simply stand there stiffly, feeling him push my nightgown down over my shoulders so it falls to the floor.

We back up until I feel the edge of the bed, Steve now gesturing for me to lay down. I do, turning away as he sheds the rest of his clothes and crawls over me. He leans down to kiss me once more, probably in an attempt to relax me.

"Open your legs". He commands, and I do. His hand brushes between them, beginning to caress me, and one spot in particular that makes me gasp. "You like that?" He asks and I nod. He begins to pick up the pace a little, fingers sliding into me slightly. 

His mouth meets mine again, hand now removing itself from between my legs before he positions himself between them a little more. I yelp in pain as he begins to move into me, feeling the tears sting the back of my eyes. I bite my lip to the point where I can taste blood. I look up at him. "Is that it?" I ask, hoping that everything will stop now. 

"Relax, you're tensing up, it'll feel better if you do". 

I nod and try my best to loosen up while he starts to thrust into me, taking care as not to hurt me anymore. I lie there, feeling him begin to thrust harder, faster, until I feel him begin to fill me. He finally stops, pulling out and then lying next to me. 

All I can do is stare at the ceiling. Is it always meant to be like that? Sarah told me that it only hurts for the first time, which I suppose now is over with. 

"Are you ok?" I hear him ask. 

I nod but say nothing, instead turning over and closing my eyes so that I can finally sleep. 

**

I wake in the early hours, seeing that Steve isn't on the other side of the bed, but instead is sat by the fireplace, drinking some wine. Sitting up, I pull the sheets around me a little more. "Steve?" 

He looks over. "Sorry, did I wake you?" 

"No I...I guess I just sensed you were out of bed. Why are you awake?" 

"Can't sleep". He simply replies and takes another sip of drink, "just a few things I have on my mind". 

"King Johann" I answer, and he nods. Plucking my nightgown from the floor, I slip it on and get out of bed a little gingerly. I feel a little sore but apparently that's normal. My feet connect with the cold stone while I pad over to join him. "You need sleep, you cannot ride out tired". 

He's silent, and I can see his mind working to the point where it could pain him. "I've slept enough, you shouldn't worry about that". He smiles lightly, "I need to get ready soon, you should go back to bed". 

I'm wide awake by now and sit across from him. "I can't sleep now". 

"I'm sorry if I hurt you". 

I shake my head. "Now that I think about it, it wasn't too bad. Perhaps by the time that you return I will be with child". 

"We can only hope". He agrees and looks up as the Knight from the feast is now knocking and coming into the room. "Everything ready?" He asks. 

The man nods. "He's not gonna stand a chance pal", and then his eyes meet mine. "My lady..." 

"Cecily, this is Bucky.  Bucky, Cecily". Steve makes the introductions. "He's my best friend". 

"I'm your only friend" Bucky looks smug

"Sam would beg to differ" Steve fires back in jest. 

A new side to him. a joking one. Perhaps I shall see it as we get to know one another more. "How long will you be gone?" I now ask. 

Both men look at me. "How long is a piece of string?" Bucky replies, "it's however long it takes for us to defeat Johaan's army, which I doubt will take much. Could be days, weeks or even months if it's real serious, but that's never happened". 

"I'm sorry, I know nothing of war and what it entails". I feel a little ashamed for asking the question. 

Steve looks at me. "It's best you don't know. It's brutal and bloody". 

"The army's already up and getting ready" Bucky tells him. 

"Then I should do too". Steve now gets up and watches Bucky leave before turning to me. "Will you be coming to see us off?" 

I nod. "Why wouldn't I?" 

He doesn't answer this and instead takes his wine and heads to his chambers to get ready. 

**

Hours later, I find myself standing on the castle steps saying goodbye to my father and everyone. 

"Please don't go" I silently beg him. 

"I have to. You will be safe and protected here. I'll be back before you know it" He smiles. "I love you Cecily". 

"I love you too". We embrace one last time, my father then saying goodbye to the King and walking down to mount his horse. The knights are all lined up on theirs, waiting for Steve. 

I watch as he says goodbye to his parents, before he then moves to me. I look up at him. "Be careful..." Is all I can think to say. 

He nods. "I'll try. Look after my mother for me while I'm gone, she's hiding her upset. I think she'd like someone to comfort her". 

"I will". 

"Good". He kisses my forehead and then with a nod to his father, makes his way down the steps, the metal of his armour clinking before he mounts his horse and gives the order for the army to ride out. 

I watch as they begin to head out, now running forward to the edge of the steps. 

Will he look back at me? 

I stand there, and then see him glance back, our last exchange only brief, but enough to know that he is thinking of me.