Cecily (Prince!SteveRogers AU)

7

Three Years Later

I do not know why I am still here. 

Oh wait, yes, I do. 

The King and Queen felt guilty not just because I'd lost a husband, but also my father to. They had me stay and said they would take care of me, because they owed it to my father. 

I still feel like a guest. 

The King insisted that for the rest of our days, we should wear black, and that is what I have lived in for the last few years. 

I was the chief mourner at Steve's funeral, although we had no body. Instead, there was an empty coffin, a cloak baring the crest of Auburndale placed upon its top, along with his shield. All of which are now entombed in the crypt where other members of the royal family lay in rest. 

The King has not been the same, becoming a little frailer and a shadow of himself. The Queen barely speaks and roams the halls and gardens like a spectre. 

They will never recover from this. 

And then there is me...

I have become Sarah's companion, trying to be of what comfort that I can to her - just as Steve asked of me. I encourage her to take her meals, although I am sure that she simply feeds some to the dogs so as it looks as though she's eaten something. I walk with her, embroider with her, read with her. I talk to her about trivial things such as the weather. 

The only moment I do not spend with her is of a night, when I get a couple of hours late evening to simply sit and take a breath, and some wine. 

I have tried to cry. I cried more for my father, but for Steve? I barely knew him. How can I shed tears for a man I'd known for hours? 

My usual attire is a black gown accompanied by a white lace veil, although I do not conceal my face. The Queen does in social situations under her own, but in private when it's us? She does not have to hide. 

I head to her room and knock gently, walking in and seeing that she is sat by her window. 

Always watching

Always waiting. 

She is waiting to be reunited with Steve in death, and it pains me to see her like this. 

"Good morning". I smile lightly. Her head turns as she acknowledges me but as usual, she says nothing, then turning back to the window once more. "I thought perhaps we could go and cut some roses from the bushes today? They're blooming so nicely". I continue to encourage her. Conversation is usually one sided, but I know she wants me here. She needs the company.

Eventually she gets up and I lead her to where her breakfast has been set out on the table. "It looks like it'll be a nice day today". I open the drapes and the doors to the balcony, letting in the warm breeze and the sunlight. The room is dark enough with its atmosphere. It needs light in here to hopefully lift Sarah's spirits. 

"Cecily...come...sit with me please?" She says quietly and I see she is dabbing her eyes. 

She has days like this. Where she just cries. Caring for her has meant I've had to grow a lot. I feel I have. She treats me as her equal and not the child she first originally thought me as. I've learnt as I've gone along, I am more aware of the things that happen in court (and out of it). They call me the Dowager Princess; however, I do not associate myself with gossips though. It is unwise and I know that I too am part of the hushed whispers, for them to speak of me as they wish thinking that I do not know they are. But I see and hear all whereas before I would have been oblivious.

When I first arrived, I would have wanted to be accepted by them, to have friends. But I am above them, and I know better. Plus, Sarah had warned me about it. 

Even if she rarely speaks. She has guided me in every way. 

I feel like a Princess, even if I am widowed. 

I settle myself down next to her and she takes my hand. "You are always here to lift me when I feel so down". She smiled weakly. "I always wanted a daughter, however it never happened. A shame really as I believe that Steve would have loved her". She now pauses and looks at me. "I may have lost my son, but I gained that daughter in you, please - never leave my side". 

Giving her hand a squeeze, I smile. "I promised Steve that I would be a comfort to you. I am going nowhere". I look at her plate. "Please, eat something". She nods and starts to eat some bread rather gingerly. 

**

I'm busy arranging the roses I collected this morning in vases. Sarah did not want to accompany me, stating she felt a little tired and would take to her bed. I know she barely sleeps so I thought the roses would cheer her up.

There is some muffled commotion and I put the scissors down, looking to the chamber door. 

Something is happening...

The door flies open, and Sarah is stood there looking pale, much paler than I've ever seen her. "You must come with me, now". Her voice shakes, cracking slightly.

"Are you alright? Unwell? What is it?"

"A miracle..." She replies and then turns, skirts bustling out through the doorway, her pace quickening with every step.

I find it hard to keep up with her, following her down through the cloisters until we reach the castle steps that lead down to the courtyard. I stop at the top of them, looking down at the group who were speaking to the King. "That's impossible..." I breathe as my eyes now lock with a pair of familiar ocean blues.

My husband...

His hair is longer than I remember, dirtied with blood and mud, a beard grown in from where there had never been one present before. His eyes are tired, and he keeps his watch on me as his mother embraces him tightly, crying with joy over the fact that her son is alive and has come back to us.

Then he lets go of her, and begins to climb the stairs to where I am stood...

"Cecily..." His baritone voice fills the air.

I quickly sink into a curtsey, looking up as he now towers over me. "Husband..."

"You are still here..." He simply states.

"My father died in battle, the King and Queen were kind enough to allow me to stay". I reply in just as shaky a voice as Sarah had earlier. "I am glad to see that you have returned".

Steve looks down at me and then offers his hand to help me from my position. He's not laid eyes on me in years, knowing that it was most likely that I may have had a mourning period before perhaps marrying again. He is surprised to find me still here, even more so at the fact that it had been at the insistence of his parents.

I have changed from what he may remember of me. My blonde hair cascades down my back in waves, my face a little more matured. He remembers me a scared girl on the day of our wedding.

His hand reaches for a lock of golden hair, toying with it as I look up at him.

"Come, you must be tired, we shall have the kitchens get you something to eat and drink". Sarah now places a hand on Steve's shoulder, interrupting us. "You can tell us all that happened once you have rested".

Letting go of the lock of hair, Steve now heads inside, along with his parents, looking back at me as I watch him. 

I turn away and head to my chambers, wanting to give him and his parents privacy.

My husband is home, and now my fate and future are secured once again.