No matter how encouraging it sounds it doesn't feel the same way. I thought everything was okay now, that I am okay nowadays. But one cannot really be fully fine, we are bound to break and fall into pieces again.
Nothing seems to work, the medicine, the talk, the counseling—nothing makes sense at all. They say to let it out, to cry, to shout, to shatter, to stare at the endless void because no one deserves to feel like this. But what if I do? What if I deserve all of these because I think little of life, and I wish every night in my sleep to never be able to wake up? Why does life need to be so cruel and harsh? Why do I need to make things make sense? What is wrong with me?
Healing is not linear, maybe they are right, maybe it is a circle that cycles through the days when you are okay and when you are not—when you feel like throwing up and staying in bed all day because you don't know what to do anymore.
Relapse is part of the recovery they say but why couldn't I get better?
YOU ARE READING
a Note to my Depression
PoetryEveryone already left, why are you still here? -depression This a letter to all those who are constantly struggling to find a will to live, like me. A compilation of my unheard thoughts and bottled emotions. I hope we all make it through, may we nev...
