In the mind of a Zulu wife

Chapter 2

"I missed you." My mom says hugging me. She looks so happy to see it. "I know I am so happy to see you, and I missed you more." I say and I let go. "You look good better than you were a year ago." She says. "I know and I feel good too." I say and she looks relieved. Then goes on to hug her grandkids, I greet my dad and my brother Siphosethu is here as well. Damn are we that old? He now has a dad bod and has grey hair on his beard. He is in his mid 40's now. Nkanyezi is here as well and she is getting married soon, so her soon to be husband is here as well. They are such a cute couple. I have to admit that I am old now my oldest daughter is getting married, and she looks like someone who is pregnant. So I am going to be a grandmother soon. Time flies damn. Nkanyezi is 27 now. She is such a beautiful young lady doing well in life and I am proud of her. The drive home seems long but it isn't I am just tired and we are in KZN so I have to drive to Mpangeni after this which is going to be 2hours max. I hope Nkanyezi will be driving because I am tired.

"The Ngidi's have been so welcoming, and they are excited to see you again." My mom says. "I know they aren't happy with me not spending Christmas with you guys, and considering that Mthobisi is sick I am sure they aren't pleased with me." I say. "They are not, but they understand. Did the doctor say what's wrong with him?" My mom asks. "no they just gave us medicine to manage the symptoms, they ran multiple tests which they will send the results to my doctor. So we will know what's wrong when the results come back." I say. I just hope its nothing serious. Let me take a nap. I close my eyes for a few minutes and everything goes blank within minutes. "Nobuntu we are here." My mom says and whoa that was quick. "Wow I close my eyes for 10minutes and we are here." I say. "You have been sleeping for an hour now." She says. Wow I really need to rest. I get out of the car and Zanokuhle is greeting the kids alongside is his mom. I smile as I see them.

They greet me and I hug mom for a short while without letting go. "I am so happy to see you, how I missed all of you." She says and she is teary. "I missed you too." I say. "You look so pretty are you seeing anyone yet?" She asks. She is so invested in my love life you wouldn't think she is my mother in law. "No ma I am not seeing anyone, I doubt I will see anyone." I say and she smiles. "That wont last long trust me I know you have your own needs that kids, work and family cant fulfil. This age you are in right now you are going to need someone tick some boxes." She says and she winks. She isn't wrong, I am so needy these days and I have been doing more self catering than ever before. I constantly need to 'rub one out'. "I am not talking to you about that." I say and we walk into the house. It seems everyone is here, even my sister is here. We greet each other and we talk a bit then I excuse myself I really need to sleep and rest my body.

***

Nkanyezi has been driving for the past hour and we are close to the Xaba household, it's early morning of Christmas I over slept. We were supposed to leave last night but I couldn't I was tired so were the kids. The twins and Ntinga remained with the Ngidi family and my own family. I am with Nkanyezi and Qhawe here. I really don't know if Samkela made it back into the country, or what he has been ignoring my calls. It hurts that my son will do his best to avoid me. "So how far along are you?" I ask Nkanyezi and she seems shocked by what I just asked. "What are you talking about?" She asks. "Your pregnancy how far along are you?" I ask. "How did you know?" She asks. "You are going out of your way to hide the pregnancy, the way you dress, you have put on weight." I say. "2months." She says. "I cant believe someone will be calling me granny soon." I say and I chuckle at the thought. "You know I am only 42 years and someone will be calling me granny that is so surreal." I say. She smiles. "We wanted to keep it a secrete till after the wedding." She says. "Your wedding is in late Feb, so you will be showing by then more than ever." I say.

"I know." She says. "So your mom's family how did they take everything? Your dad told me they were causing issues because lobola was paid to the your dads side and not the Mhlongo's." I say. "Yeah we had to re-do the whole thing, but they aren't happy with me at present apparently I am disrespecting them and they say I think I am better than them now since you and dad took over caring for me." She says and seems hurt by all this. "I am sorry I wasn't here and you needed me here." I say apologizing. "It's fine ma you are here now, that's all that matters." She says. "Oh we are here." She says. I can already see the home. She drives for another 5minutes and then she finally parks in the yard. We are here, I haven't been here in a while. Memories of my then husband telling me he is taking another wife come flooding. That was a dark time in my life I hate myself for agreeing to it at the time, I didn't love myself. I loved Siya more than I loved myself. Thank God for Sandiso who showed me what love was, and I actually got to experience being loved with all my flaws and I loved him. His passing was horrible but out of the whole experience I learnt how to love myself and make myself happy and be there for myself and be kinder to myself. I am still working on it.