When All Our Souls Fell Apart

Endings and Beginnings

He rejected me! He rejected me. How could he? I said I love you! He said he loved me! Sure that may have been a year ago but I thought love didn't know time! This is what I get for giving him my notebook today, this is what I get for putting myself out there. This is why I don't say those three words. They always end up hurting someone. I should've just listened to Elsie and kept my dang trap shut. I should've let the feelings pass. God, puberty sucks. I don't think I was always this emotional. Schools going to be rough tomorrow.

Today, as planned, at the end of the day I walked right up to him and handed him my notebook. I turned to walk away but then I whipped back around and announced, "Tommy Parkers, I love you." I did it very eloquently, not too loud, not too quiet. I made sure at least a couple people around us could hear. This should've come as a shock to him but he seemed unsurprised. He acted like I was just saying Hi or something. I was confused so I paused a moment and then turned back around and walked to the bus.

The bus ride felt like an eternity, there was nothing to distract my anxiety.

The next two hours felt like two days as I waited for a text or a call (although I knew he wouldn't, I thought about him coming to my house). Then the text came. "Hey Lane, I read your thing and its nice and all...I just dont think it's a good idea for you to think about me in that way. We had our chance at love. Im sorry but I'm over it. I hope we can be friends :)" It pains me to read it so after I read it and replied with an "Okay I understand", I deleted it. I cried for a long time.

The next day at school I just tried my best to stay out of everyone's way. The only person I talked to all day was Elsie, and it was mostly about the work we were doing. On my way to sixth hour, history, I realized we were going to be getting a new student in our class. When I got in there, I sat down and scanned the room. I wasn't sure if I was looking for a girl or a boy...then I saw her. She looked fairly average from the back, long dark hair, fair skin, she was dressed in a plain shirt and skinny jeans. She looked out of place, all alone on one side of the room. I leaned in to Elsie and whispered, "Dont look now but I see the new girl, we should let her sit by us!" And of course she just had to "look now", letting the world know we were talking about her. Elsie suddenly stood up and shouted across the room, "HEY!" The girl looked around then saw Elsie staring back at here "WANT TO SIT BY US?!" yelled Elsie. The girl paused for a second then nodded and got her stuff. I got a better look at her as she was walking towards our table of desks. She had big eyes and full lips, a small nose that was barely even noticeable.

Her face seemed to revolve around her eyes, they were beautiful, she had thick eyelashes that looked natural. Her whole face was, from what I could tell, natural. Very different from my face which is probably always buried under three layers of makeup. "This is Lanie and I'm Elsie." The girl looked at us both inquisitively like she had never seen a living human before. "Oh uh I'm Lennon, you can call me Lenn if you want," she smiled when she said her name. The bell rang so she sat down across from me. I spent the hour sneaking looks at her eyes.