When All Our Souls Fell Apart

Eli

As it turns out, history came quickly but it passed just as soon. Eli texted me and invited me over to hang out after school. I walked up to his house, resenting the guilt he would inflict for my absence lately. I was proven wrong though, a few minutes into my visit. Apparently he had bigger issues.

When I used my key he gave me a few years ago and opened his door, he was already standing in the entry. The sun from the windows behind him making his body a silhouette, and quite a nice one at that. His super dark thick hair in a mess on his head, his beautiful green eyes staring through me with intention. Ah how I've missed his eyes. And his lips looking soft as ever...if he wasn't into guys I would be utterly head over heels. But alas, life is what it is and we don't always get our "tens." We used to send pictures of people and ask each other to rate them on a scale from 1 to 10. My rate was usually a seven or below while his was always a soaring eight or nine. We used to joke about him being my only ten because whenever I rate his pictures I always give a ten or higher. But in all reality, he is my ten.

He grabbed my arm gently and half ran to his room, pulling me along.
"I have to talk to you Lane!" He said through a strained throat. What could be wrong? "It's about Grayson." He sat on his bed. Grayson. The typical punk-passive aggressive-secluded-wallflower-loner-emo-shy figure of the party scene. Or so it seems on the outside. Who knows what's going on in there? Certainly not me. I've always been quite biased towards Grayson, he's never seemed like Eli's type, yet they've been dating for over two years. They have their ons and offs like everyone else. Indeed the road has been bumpy, but they've managed this far. Something in Eli's voice tells me this is more than a regular fight.
"What happened?!" I almost added 'this time' but ultimately decided against it.
"Well...he told me not to tell anyone," he hesitated, looking at the ground.
"And yet I find myself here...?" I halfway kidded him.
He wasn't in the mood. In all seriousness he replied, "He's been having...well. Trouble. I guess you could say...at night."
I thought a moment without saying anything. Only looking at him and his intense expression.
"He's been leaving texts for me while I sleep and I've read them when I wake up. They're scaring me Lanie. He's usually cool and chill, but he's been talking about all this deep stuff. It's not like him. And last night he said he was going to do it so I said do what and he said do it and I said what tell me what it is and he said it and I got scared and I didn't know and-"
"Breathe, Eli! Is he okay?" He took a deep breath.
"He's alright because I stalled him but I don't know how many more nights I can keep this up. I feel like I'm keeping him alive. I can't take it!" He squinted his eyes, making the face I've utterly adored for so many years.
I should be worried and upset with him but suddenly the situation doesn't feel so urgent. All I want to think about is Eli and how much I've missed him lately.

We continued talking and I mentioned my newfound relationship with Lennon (not describing my intense feelings and total longing for everything imaginable). Then we ate and talked and laughed and ate some more. The night ended with me on his front porch feeling unsatisfied with my goodbye which was just me saying "see ya tomorrow." So I ran back in and proceeded to hug him for the foreseeable future, otherwise known as the next five minutes.

As I lay in bed I realized something. My life is suddenly something worth living.