TOXIC BLOODTYPE | Park Sunghoon

014 | addicted to you

↪H A E U N

My head is spinning, my eyes are fighting to keep open while my body is trying their best to carry my body weight. I look like a zombie straight out of The Walking Dead with my half messy hair and dark eye bags. Giving myself the right amount of sleep was an impossible mission which led me to pull an all-nighter instead.

Staying home felt very tempting but I still decided to force myself to leave my apartment. Even though I would rather stay at home, isolating myself from fellow human beings just like I have done the whole weekend, I'm still giving today a chance.

I ran my fingers through my hair out of frustration while I arrived at campus. Is it really going to be worth forcing myself through the day when I'm feeling like this. Since I arrived at campus earlier than usual, it was very empty compared to how it usually is.

I noticed a figure sitting on a bench, staring at the thin and empty air in front of them. The distance between us didn't stop me from recognizing the figure on the bench and it obviously had to be the person I wanted to avoid. Before I could run away, pretending I haven't been string at Sunghoon for a few minutes, he noticed me.

Sunghoon threw his bag over his shoulder and started to walk towards me. I looked down at the ground, not being able to handle an eye contact with him.

"Couldn't sleep either?" Sunghoon asked.

"No" I answered, still looking down at the ground.

"Please look at me Haeun" Sunghoon said while he lifted up my chin with his index and middle finger.'

Why do I like the sound of my name mixed with his voice?

"Why are you acting like this Sunghoon? What do you want from me?" I responded while I removed his fingers from my chin.

"I am like this because there's something about you that is just so addicting" Sunghoon said.

"I am addicted to you and the way you make me feel. I was able to experience a new form emotional I never felt before and I don't want this emotion to disappear" He added.

Here we go again. Sunghoon talking about how he feel about me but the words he use are not the ones he's supposed to use.

"Do you hate me?" Sunghoon suddenly asked.

"Huh?" I responded.

Do I hate Sunghoon? That's the question I have tried to solve the whole weekend but still haven't found a proper answer to it. I do however know I feel something for Sunghoon and that is not hate.

"So you don't hate me" Sunghoon said with a tiny smile.

"Why do you think that?" I asked confused.

"Because if you did hate me, you would say it directly after my question but you didn't" Sunghoon answered while his tiny smile turned into a smirk.

Why does he have to be right?

"What about you? You don't hate me either?" I replied and Sunghoon nodded.

"I already told you. Your identity, destiny and beauty doesn't scare me because I'm addicted to the way you make me feel" Sunghoon said while he took a step closer to me.  

"But you already know we can't stay together. We have broken too many rules already and yet you are acting like we are just like any other student on our campus" I stated.

"But have you ever thought of something? We just live to listen to other people's rules and opinions. Species like us have been raised with strict rules and have never been able to form our own perspective and options" Sunghoon responded.

"And that is because we have been feeded with all this negative information, reactions, opinions and perspectives from our parents and relatives. We have naturally connected each other into something negative because that's what we have been feeded in our whole life" Sunghoon added.

"So what? It's not like we can do anything about it, we can't change our bloodline. We are not supposed to have what we have, it's not going to work, we should stop what we have between us even before we think of starting something between us" I said.

"I need more time" I added.

"I will wait for you. Wait until you are ready" Sunghoon replied.

I started into Sunghoon's dark eyes. I feel guilty, distressed and ashamed of myself. It feels wrong to make Sunghoon wait for me because I don't want him to waste his time. Even though I appreciate it, it still feels wrong even though he is the one who brought it up.

I walked past Sunghoon, walking towards the school building but it didn't last long.

"Haeun wait-" Sunghoon said as he grabbed my wrist.

"Me and Miyeon are not a thing" He added.

"And?" I asked, not really understanding what I'm supposed to do with this information.

"Just wanted to tell you so you won't get the wrong end of the stick. I was never interested in her in that way, she was the only one who was interested in me" Sunghoon answered.

"Then I know" I said.

I pulled my arm away so Sunghoon would lose his grip around my wrist. I left him alone while I continued to walk away from him. It doesn't matter where I'm going, I just don't want to be around Sunghoon right now. I need time for myself even if it only is a few minutes.

I speeded up my walk as soon as I got inside the school building. My feets guided me to the school's bathroom. I threw my bag on the floor while I grabbed my hair out of frustration and stress. I walked over to the sink to wash my face.

I splashed water on my face which made my vision blurry and I could barely keep my eyes open. This represents how I feel right now, the world is blurry because I don't know where to go. Every road and direction I take will end up being a mistake. I will always end up on the wrong foot no matter what I do. 

I used my hands to get rid of all the water from my eyes and then I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I really do look like a zombie straight out from The Walking Dead. And I'm supposed to believe Sunghoon is attracted to this or what?