endless night time sky (Gerard Way)

Chapter 8

After school that day, I said bye to Gerard and Mikey as they dropped me off at home. As soon as I entered my house, a distinctly tense atmosphere hit me. It was quiet, but it felt almost as if someone unwelcome had been inside.

I dropped my satchel and took off my shoes, then walked through the living room, looking around for signs of anything different, but didn't see anything. In the kitchen, my Dad was standing at the counter, stirring two mugs, the spoon clinking on the ceramic. He turned to face me, and handed me one of the cups of coffee.

'Laura,' he said, sitting down at the table and indicating that I should do the same. 'I don't want you to worry, but there's something we need to talk about.'

My first thought was of the previous night. Oh, god, he's going to have 'the talk' with me.

I wanted to avoid this at all costs. 'Dad, I-'

He cut me off. 'Please, I need you to listen for a moment.' He had lifted his hand from around his mug to stop me, and I noticed that it was shaking slightly. Surely he couldn't be that anxious about it...

Dad sighed. 'The thing is, you know...you know we've not had any contact with...well, anyone from your mum's side of the family, since...you know.'

He was really struggling with this. I did know. I knew that my mum had struggled with addiction and depression for a long time, long before I was born, and that five years ago, our family had reached a breaking point. Mum had entered rehab, finally, and agreed to let Dad take me somewhere new and for the both of us to have a fresh start. It had all seemed amicable, until my mum's family started blaming Dad for all her problems, and attacking him for 'abandoning' her. Mum had said she'd be in touch at least once a week, but the phone calls never came. We never got letters, birthday cards, anything. We could never reach her. Dad never liked to discuss it, and I was just a kid, but over the years I'd come to accept my own theory of events: my mum's parents and siblings must have convinced her that we really had upped and left her in her time of need.

I nodded. 'Yeah...?'

He sighed again. 'Well, I had a visitor today. I guess they still have our address from when we moved out here. Simon came by, wanting to know if I - if we - would be willing to meet with your mother. He says she's doing much better...'

As soon as he'd mentioned my mum, I'd hoped this would be what he'd say, but the reality took a moment to sink in. Simon was my mum's brother. He'd said my mum was doing okay. He'd come all this way to tell us. I just nodded my head.

My Dad sipped his coffee, and let out a nervous laugh. 'Is that a yes, you want to see her?'

I continued to nod. '...Yeah, I think. But Dad, do you want to? I mean...I know you never really said it, but I guess it was pretty hard on you when she just...disappeared.'

He didn't even hesitate in his reply. 'Of course. I never wanted things to end this way, and I don't think your mum did, either. It's been hard, but if she's doing better, maybe we can all have some semblance of a relationship again. Just...think carefully about it, Laura. Seeing her again might bring up some resentment you don't realise you have.'

I nodded. 'I know.'

Dad sighed one final time, this time, with relief. 'Good. I'll set it all up, then.'

I smiled, and began to get up to leave the table. I had a strange flutter in my stomach, not the same feeling as when I saw Gerard, but an apprehensive excitement. I didn't know exactly what to expect, but surely, having my mum back in my life would be positive.

However, I was brought sharply back down to earth, to the table, by my Dad's tone of voice as he said, 'not so fast, young lady.' He had clearly gotten over his nervousness, too.

I slowly turned back to face him.

'You're getting a bit too old to have boys sleeping in your room,' he said, sternly. 'Now, I'm not going to ask, but...'

'Dad!' I protested, laughing. 'It's only Gerard!'

'I don't care if it's only Gerard,' he retorted, 'I know what those crazy teenager hormones can do.'

'Dad, he's my best friend! Nothing's going to happen!' It came out so naturally, somehow, even though it wasn't exactly true any more.

He shook his head. 'I know, honey,' he replied, 'I know. I'm just saying. Your mum was my best friend, too, and we ended up married with a kid.'

I noticed that he had finished the story at 'married with a kid.' He hadn't gone on to say, 'estranged, divorced, and not speaking for five years.' My mum and dad had been best friends, and they'd been happy. 

They were happy.