endless night time sky (Gerard Way)

Chapter 9

'So...you're actually going to see your mum again?' Frank asked, blowing a wisp of smoke into the air. 'For the first time in...what, five years?'

I nodded, sipping my coffee. The five of us sat huddled under the bleachers, shoulder to shoulder, our jackets and scarves offering a feeble protection from the air that seemed to get colder day by day.

'Yup. My uncle just showed up out of the blue and helped my Dad arrange the whole thing. Apparently she's out of rehab for good this time and wants to make amends.'

I had barely slept the night before. At first I'd been tossing and turning, second-guessing, talking myself in and out of the decision to see her. Then, after a few hours, I'd just been excited. I'd sent a few texts back and forth with Gerard, who was still awake, drawing. He had to be the first to know.

I think it's great, if you do, he'd said, just be careful, you know? I don't want you to get hurt.

He was quiet now, as the other guys asked me questions about what had happened all those years ago, and why there had been no contact since then. It didn't take long for the conversation to  slow down, and I could tell that they were all starting to think the same thing. This was a risk. My mum's family hadn't proved themselves to be trustworthy. They had doubts, but didn't want to dampen my excitement.

After lunch break, Gerard and I had art class - his favourite part of the week, but definitely not mine. On the plus side, we could sit together, but of course, Olivia and Co. sat close by. It had been a blissful day in which I hadn't seen them so far, but it was always only a matter of time. 

We got to work on our projects, and since none of the girls said anything, or seemed to pay any attention to us at all, I actually started to relax into the class. Perhaps my good mood got the better of me. It wasn't long until a loud voice cut through the room.

'Hey, Laura,' the voice came, from a few desks away. Caleb Winters, a known trouble-maker, was looking intently over at me, a devious grin on his face. Caleb was mischievous, usually in detention for something or other, but he wasn't a bully. He cut class and talked back to teachers, but he didn't pick on or intimidate other kids. I was surprised he knew who I was, until I caught Olivia biting back her smirk.

'Laura,' Caleb said, 'is it true your mum just got out of rehab?'

My stomach instantly knotted up, and I noticed Gerard's grip tighten around his sketching pencil. I took a deep breath, feeling a few other pairs of eyes on me, but as I exhaled I told myself, I've never had a problem with this kid. Maybe he's just curious.

I cleared my throat. 'Not only just, but yeah, she was in rehab. Why?'

Caleb stifled a laugh. 'No reason. It just explains a lot, I guess.'

A few more students giggled. I heard Olivia snicker behind me. The ripple throughout the class caused the teacher, Professor Vance, to speak up. 

'Caleb,' she snapped, 'you ought to mind your own business.'

Before she had even finished her sentence, Gerard was on his feet, shooting back at Caleb, 'what's that supposed to mean?'

An amused murmur arose, several students making an 'oooh' sound, and a prickly tension filled the atmosphere, or at least, I sensed it did. I was grateful for what Gerard was trying to do, but I wished he hadn't. I wanted a giant hole to appear in the ground that I could dive into. 

Professor Vance hit her desk with a sketchbook, breaking the tension with a crack. The murmur silenced, all eyes flicked to her, as she commanded, 'that's enough, both of you. If I hear another peep out of either of you,' she pointed at Gerard and Caleb, 'or any of you, for that matter,' she gestured towards some of the students that had joined in, 'you'll be spending your lunch breaks with me until Christmas vacation.'

I wished again for that hole to open up. As the class settled, I went back to my sketch, glancing up at Gerard. He hadn't loosened his grip, and his face was as stony as I'd ever seen it, his jaw clenched tightly. He looked back at me, but didn't smile. I wondered whether it was me that he was mad at. Maybe I shouldn't have engaged at all.

The bell rang, signaling the end of the day. Caleb pulled a goofy face at me as he ran out of class. Knowing him, he was totally oblivious to how much of a gut-punch his comment had been. I knew from the second I'd heard Olivia's sly laughter that it hadn't come from him. She was too smart. She knew she couldn't say anything to me in front of school staff. She wouldn't say anything to me in front of Gerard.

Gerard wrapped his arm protectively around my shoulders as he ushered me out of the classroom, and out of the school. My first thought, on feeling his fingers on my arm, on feeling myself tucked in closely beside him, was, 'great, this will work wonders for the rumours that we fooled around right here in school.' Then I hated myself for it. How could I be so frightened of some stupid comments, some stupid lies, that I didn't even want my best friend, the one person that I treasured the most, to put his arm around me?

Neither of us said a word, and we didn't wait for Mikey, Frank and Ray. Gerard didn't let go of me until we'd walked for about five minutes away from school, towards his house, ducking down some side streets to avoid any kids from school. Once we were out of sight and earshot, Gerard sighed out, a deep exhale, and slid his arm from across my back.

'Are you okay?' He asked.

I nodded. 'Yeah, I'm okay.'

He sighed again. 'I'm sorry I didn't stand up for you more. Caleb was totally out of line, I wanted to tell him-'

I cut him off with a tiny laugh. 'Gerard, it's okay. You did stand up for me. I wish I hadn't even answered him in the first place. He just...caught me off guard.'

Gerard nodded. 'Me too. I mean, he's kind of a jerk, but I've never heard him talk shit about people's families before.'

By this time, we were almost at Gerard's house. A few other school kids lived nearby, but only a few harmless boys loitered in the street. Still, I was relieved when Gerard unlocked the door, and I followed him inside.