Two Idiots Walk Into a Bar (Dramione)

A Heartbroken Idiot

"What in the bloody hell was all THAT, Malfoy?" demanded Potter as they finished flooing.

Draco quickly glanced around the living room and recognised Potter had flooed him to the Nott Manor.

Without answering, Draco walked to the liquor cabinet, pouring himself a shot of the first thing he found – mead – and tossing it back.

"Want some?" He offered.

"No, ferret. I want an explanation!"

"Well, Scarhead," Draco sneered momentarily, a defeated look befalling him the next second, "For weeks, Granger and I have been meeting at a muggle bar after work-"

"What?" Potter exclaimed, frowning. "Hermione would never go out for drinks with you."

"Greatly observed, Mr. Head of Aurors.' He sarcastically replied. "But she didn't know she was meeting me. I was glamoured – and so was she."

The skeptical look on Potter's face let Draco know he was seconds away from being hexed.

Fucking great – a duel against the Saviour to end this miserable night. He thought bitterly and flopped onto the closest armchair, his head on his hands.

The rollercoaster of emotions he had endured that day seemed to have finally caught up to him – Draco felt incapable of mustering up the necessary energy to even care about what happened to him next; if Potter attacked him, he only hoped it was strong enough to knock him unconscious so he wouldn't have to think about losing Her.

"I swear, Potter." Draco exhaled, lifting his face to look at the Gryffindor. "I didn't know Jean was Granger."

His pitiful behaviour seemed to convince Potter he was telling the truth.

"So Mione thought you were a man named Jake, is that it?" Potter asked, recalling parts of what he had heard at her flat minutes ago.

"Yes. And she introduced herself by Jean." Draco summoned the mead and refilled his tumbler, tossing ack another shot. "We talked, kissed and shagged." He added in a near-whisper.

"As strangers?"

"Yes. Both glamoured." Draco nodded, noticing the flames in the fireplace turning green and the next second Theo walked out of them, looking at him and shaking his head.

"I tried, man. I told her you've been in love with her since she decked you on third year, but-"

Draco grimaced, "Bloody hell, Theodore."

"But Hermione doesn't believe you didn't know anything."

"She thinks I tricked her." Draco nodded slowly.

"Which is fully understandable." Added Potter, tilting his head to the side: "Let me ask you this: if you had known Jean was Hermione, would that have told her who you were?"

Draco stood up and hesitated a little before replying truthfully: "No, wouldn't. I'd have kissed and fucked her anyway." He saw fury in the Gryffindor's eyes so he quickly added: "But that's only because I've never allowed myself to dare entertain the idea that she wanted me!"

That didn't discouraged Potter from continuing to glare at him, his wand in hand.

But before spells could fly, a bright otter ran into the room, stopping mid-air and looking at the three men in silence.

"That's Mione's Patronus." Potter explained.

Draco approached the shining animal with awe, he had never seen a Patronus up-close before.