Toxic Love - when hate becomes love | Lewis Hamilton FF (Part 1/English version)

F O U R T E E N

Before this mountain of thoughts could roll over me, I decided to get up. I thought about what I should do best now. Going for a walk outside? Just sit here and stare into the void? Or rather have a little fun. Without hesitation, my choice fell on the latter.

So, I got up, which turned out to be not so easy. The alcohol seems to spread well in my blood, in addition to dizziness and a little headache, I also felt quite funny. So funny that I had to laugh when I wavered against the wall to get to the door. So much for that I can do it alone...
Definitely not.
When I reached the door without stumbling again, I opened it. The hotel corridor was empty, not a single human soul. Well, it's certainly already late, well after 12 pm...

In fact, it worked with running and standing, the longer and better I did it. The dizziness slowly lessened, and I could see where I stepped. In the end, I felt so sober again, that I managed to hardly notice anything. Hardly in quotation marks! And that with being sober, too.

Almost roughly, I knocked on Lewis' room door. Nothing happened. I did the same again, longer. Nothing happened. Wasn't he there at all? With a disappointed sigh, I let my body fall against the light wall. He's not there... My legs gave way under me, which was probably due to the fact that I was even more drunk than I thought and so I sat at some point. The knees bent and the head in the neck.

To be honest, I didn't know why I was here at all. Actually I should have just left, but I didn't want to. Something prevented me from doing so.
Alcohol?
Tiredness?
What else?
Maybe it was just the desire. Desire for him? Desire for his proximity? Or the desire to talk to someone to distract from my actual thoughts. They again consisted of imagining how life could have gone, but how it didn't go. I think a lot would have gone differently if my family were the same as it used to be. Together, forever.

School, friends, Lewis. I probably wouldn't use every opportunity to party now. I would have decent friends, as my father would say, and I would never have met Lewis. Or maybe it is? I don't know, but somehow, I think the thought that we might never have met is a pity. Sure, I hate him, idolised even. I've never been a friend of people who think they're better, but he also has other sides. And that's exactly what the problem is. His other sides.

When he helped me get rid of this stupid reporter, for example, or literally saved my life when he drove me to school... These are things for which I am more than just grateful to him. But I'm not quite sure if that justifies his behaviour. Probably - and he will remain an asshole forever. One that looks extremely good and knows exactly what it wants.

Suddenly the door opened, and a dark figure stood in the door frame "Liv?" He said with a sleepy voice. It was Lewis who just rubbed his eyes. As quickly as I somehow realised it, I fought my way back on my legs. The wall did me a tremendous favour, without it I probably wouldn't have made it. „What are you doing here?" He opened the door completely and the confusion was written on his face. „I uh, so-„ I stammered unsettled.

I mean, I didn't know it myself. At least that's what I thought until it suddenly bubbled out of me.

„Can you kiss me?"
Silence.
Did I really just say that?
"What did she just say?" Lewis must have thought when I threw this question at his head. „What?" The Briton asked confused as if he hadn't heard me. „Can you kiss me?" I repeated, only this time a little quieter.

Before he could even answer, I interrupted him and put my lips on his. They were soft, just as I had imagined. He pushed the amazement aside and returned the kiss.

As soon as he closed the door behind us, he pressed me against it. My hands lay gently in his neck, where my fingers made their way to his hairline. In the meantime, his had wandered from my face down to my waist. He placed them so well in that place that I got butterflies in my stomach. And I thought Max can kiss well...