Fatal Attraction.

7

10 weeks into my marriage and everything feels like it's crumbling.

It hasn't even gone far yet and I'm scared out of my mind.
I was talking to Zarah and she came up with something for me.

Despite everything that happens the one thing that I've made constant in my marriage is my ability to give my husband pleasure and we're taking precautions but not anymore.

I want to have babies running around the house and I know if I ask Rashad he'd give me the whole speech about 'what we need now and family planning'. This is family planning darling.

I don't want to be forty and still pushing out babies, what I need is to raise the one I have and rest by that age.

So I approached my older aunt and as expected she had the answers.
She got me something called Tribulus Terrestries, it's a small leafy plant that I'll use to make Rashad's tea.

I googled it and it seems perfect for the job.
It alters hormone levels and increases sexual function and libido among other health benefits but these are the ones that matter to me. I found out about it two weeks back but decided until my fertile window opens and today happens to be one of those days.

"What's with these songs?" He asks looking confused.
I smile "It's an instrumental to a song I like. You don't like it?" I ask coming out of the bathroom with my towel wrapped around my chest as I used a smaller one to dry my body.

"It's good, it's just that—instrumentals have never really been your thing"
I giggle "I like trying out new things"

He smiles as he keeps his phone aside just staring at me.
He stays that way for more than twenty minutes, watching as I got dressed and I took my time. Like normally I'd take 4mins, today I took 20.

He walks over and puts his hands around my waist "You look different today"
I smile internally, the tea is kicking in. I gave him immediately after dinner.

"Really? I don't think I do"

He nods "You do"
I smile adjusting the strap of my night gown.
"I don't think you need to do that" he says sliding it down.

And just like that, I succeeded like the pro I am.

::

If I haven't mentioned I have a room in my house where I work. I hired professional tailors for the shop but I still sew the complicated ones.

I stare at the mannequins.
A client asked for a simple gown, something she can wear even after the wedding.

It's smart thinking though, at least you get to enjoy it more. For me, I sold mine even the one I wore but I sold it as used, I just wore it once anyway.

I huff.
The door opens and Zainab walks in sipping something from a mug.
"So? What are you doing?"

She's in charge of my store when I'm not present but I realized she's been working a lot so I told her to take the day off. The shop is closed today.

The good thing is as long as you have a business account on social media everything is a lot easier. The dresses are there and people can contact you from the comfort of their beds.

She sits on the couch.
"What are you taking?" I ask curiously.
She smiles "Just tea"

I roll my eyes "With the way you were sipping it I thought it was something nice"
"And tea isn't?"

"Yup" I say as I continue staring at my dresses. Something feels wrong about them but I don't know what.

"Anyway—can I talk to you about something?" She asks keeping her mug on the side stool.
I nod "There's a coaster in that drawer"

She opens the drawer and gets the coaster, putting her mug on it.
"So—can you talk to Baba about his marriage after school decision?"

I huff "Sadiq has been asking?"
She nods "I'm afraid he'll get tired or his mother ends up forcing him to marry someone else"

I can see how desperate she is and she loves the guy. But I doubt Baba would change his mind. Back when I was in school and dating someone else I wanted to get married to him so badly but Baba disagreed and I ended up loosing him, he still talks about it.

"I'll try my best but I'm not making any promises"
She smiles "Thanks".

::

Rashad's POV.

I flip through the file.
I've been flipping through it for the past twenty minutes and I'm still not sure what it is I'm looking for.

I huff throwing it aside, staring at my table blankly.
It's already 8pm, the office is empty but I still don't want to go home, not yet.

Infact if I could I would live in my office but that's not remotely possible.
I wonder if she's asleep yet?

I shake my head.
She's probably lying down in the living room waiting for me.
I groan just thinking about it.

I know she'll never sleep until I show up and I really don't want to show up.
Sameera has been calling me nonstop. I haven't called or texted her throughout this week.

I feel like I'm loosing my sanity.
I started dating Sameera so I'd feel better, distract myself from the actual pain of being married to someone I don't love but whenever I'm with her even when I feel at ease, guilt seems to out weigh it.

I keep feeling terrible knowing she's at home waiting for me. And each time I get home and see her, I get angry. It's like she's getting exactly what she wants.

It feels like mind control and I'm not joking. She had that innocent face but that smile, it always feels like she's taunting me and it infuriates me. Sometimes it makes me feel like I'm losing my mind.

I huff.
Maybe I should go see a therapist or better yet, go see my Islamic teacher about it. Maybe he'll know what I show do or if he has any prayer that will ease my mind and body.

It's gone that far.

::

To my surprise Ruqayyah is in bed sleeping soundly.
It's the first time in the 2months we've been married, maybe she's already getting tired of me, I have to admit that the possibility is making me smile.

I sit on the couch and watch as she sleeps peacefully, her breathing slow and—
I pause.
It's too slow.

I hurriedly keep my keys and phone aside and walk over to her. I pull the duvet down and see her sweating profusely. Her body temperature was also high.

I tap her softly, calling her name.
"Ruqayyah?"
She doesn't move or answer so I call out a few more times.

She raises her head with so much difficulty.
"What's wrong? You're sweating?" I say taking off the duvet which she pulls up immediately "It's too cold"

I didn't know what to do.
The temperature was neither hot nor cold so the fact that she's sweating profusely while claiming that she's cold freaked me out.

I wasn't sure what do to.
Get her something cold or something warm, Keep her warm or chill the room?

I was confused and running around the room like a mad man. Since I've known Ruqayyah she's never been sick before and now seeing her this way was unnerving.

What should I do?
Maybe I should take her to the hospital.

::