Ruqayyah's POV.
I have decided to see the therapist Jabir suggested but seeing a therapist without Rashad finding out is a lot harder than it seems.
Why?
Because I need to keep giving an excuse. I've decided to use going to the gym with Aisha as an excuse but he knows Aisha traveled and my patience is running low.Thankfully his aunt died.
Oh no, that sounds wrong and I don't mean it that way, I'm not happy she's dead.
What I mean is, his aunt in Jos died and he's going there with his cousins so the timing couldn't have been better.I walk inside the living room with a ziplock bag filled with snacks in one hand and a bottle of water in another.
His suitcase was by the side as he waiting for Yusuf and two of his other cousins.I sit next to him.
"This is yours" I say handing them to him.
"You know I can't eat this alone, right?"I nod "Fai'za is fixing them theirs but this is yours, made specially by your wife"
He smiles collecting them.
"Are you sure Fareed and I shouldn't come along?"He shakes his head.
"But why? She's your father's older sister"
"I know. But you know my father's family don't like me, my mother or my siblings and that includes you and Fareed as well. And I'm only going because of Baba, so he wouldn't get angry but I wouldn't have gone. You know they're the reasons for my parent's separation back then and whether I want to accept it or not I can never like them or even care the slightest about them so no, you and Fareed aren't combing along"I nod "So—what time is your flight?"
"We're going by car"
"Why?" I ask worriedly "The road isn't safe"He smiles "It's fine"
"Really? With all the kidnapping going on? It's fine?"He shrugs "I'll pray, you for pray us as well. Don't worry nothing that wasn't destined to happen will happen"
I kept quiet. I was frustrated.
I hate it when he travels by road and I know there's nothing I can say that will change his mind.I huff "Fine but tell them to drive carefully"
"I will"::
I sit across the therapist.
I left Fareed with Fai'za while I come take care of this pending issue.She smiles "You're welcome"
"Thank you for seeing me right away"She smiles "Your hiccup sounded urgent and I didn't want to put it on hold any further"
I smile "Thank you""Before we start my name is Rita. I was hoping you could give me a little insight on yourself"
"Uhh—my name is Ruqayyah Zubair, I'm 26years and I'm also a wife and a new mother as well"She smiles "Ah congratulations"
"Thank you""So let's get to it. What year did you graduate from the university?"
"Uhh 2017"
She nods "Do you remember anyone in particular from that moment?""Uhh—just friends I don't talk to and a few I'm still in contact with. Then family too"
"Okay. What about relationships?""No, I don't remember anyone"
"Not a name or a face? I read your email and I'm trying to figure a few things out, so please I'd appreciate complete honesty. You don't have to be afraid"I nod.
"Good. But do you remember a relationship?"
"Yes, I do. I can remember being with someone but their identity and all the memories regarding them seems to be—it's just not there""So how do you know you were in the relationship if you have no memory of it?"
"This might sound stupid but my heart"She smiles "Nothing is stupid dear"
"I just feel it, I can remember loving someone and being heartbroken. Plus people around me have mentioned it a alot of times""So? Why now? Why is it suddenly a problem?"
"Because—each time this person whom I don't remember is mentioned I feel my heart sadden and I came to a conclusion that I was dumped and my family and close friends testified to that fact so I never questioned it""Why now? Why are you questioning it now?"
"Because I've realized that wasn't what happened. I know everything now, my brother told me""If you know then why is it a problem? Why are you here?"
"Because I don't remember"She stares at me for a while.
"Are you sure you want to remember? Most people would kill to forget their worst memories""I keep feeling like I'm not complete. Even when I should be happy something feels wrong and I can't get it out of my head, I keep having this nagging feeling. Plus, how would you know it's my worst memory?"
"Because you forgot it. The brain doesn't just forget or wipe out a history about something. It's not a device you can just control anytime and anyhow you like so the fact that it wiped out a specific time and person means it's something that it couldn't handle. What happened with this person?"I take a deep breath "I lost him, in a tragic car accident"
She nods "Well, time is up but I'd really like to see you tomorrow. We'll try and figure out why your brain chose to forget this person"I nod "Thank you".
::
I find Fai'za and Fareed lying down on her bed. He was playing with his toy while she silently read a book.
"What a view?"
She flips and smiles "You're back already?"
I nod as I walk over and sit next to her picking up Fareed in my arms."So? What did the therapist say?"
I take a deep breath "Well for now nothing. Just that I should think before I make a decision""What decision?" She asks curiously.
Fareed just kept pulling on my blouse.
"Whether I want to remember it or not"She stares at me.
"What?"
"She makes a point. It can't be a coincidence that you just forgot him. You said Jabir told you that you were going through depression so maybe that's why you forgot him"I nod "I know but is it a coincidence that I just forgot him the moment I met Rashad? It can't all be a coincidence"
"Then what is it?"
"Maybe I don't need to go see her anymore"She shakes her head "Why? Ya Rashad will be coming back in three days, you need to take advantage of this moment. Figure things out so you'll be happy"
I stay quiet.
Absentmindedly staring at my son who seemed so intrigued by the bracelet around my wrist."You're not telling me something, what is it?"
Tears start welling up in my eyes "It's just that, I forgot him the moment the met Rashad. Since I met your brother I haven't liked or looked at any other man""Yes? So?"
"What if I subconsciously transferred all the feelings I had for him to Rashad"She seemed shocked but I think she understood what I meant.
"There's a possibility. So you don't want to remember anymore?"I nod.
"No you should"
I shake my head "What if I stop loving him? He's your brother"."And I love him so very much but neither he nor you will be happy if you don't figure it all out. It will keep bothering you and eventually you wouldn't be able to hide it anymore, it will ruin you"
She made a point but I was still scared.
She smiles "How about we go together tomorrow?""No, I don't think so"
"No, you need support and Ya Rashad isn't here and he doesn't know so I'll be your support system"
"What about Fareed?""We'll go along with him. You know how much he sleeps in the afternoon, like he's drugged"
I nod staring at the boy who's already asleep.
"That's why we suffer so much, his day starts by midnight"I chuckle.
::
YOU ARE READING
Fatal Attraction.
RomanceHave you ever loved someone with your entire being? Like without them life held little to no meaning. But what if-these feelings are unrequited? How would you live then? A book that depicts the pain and harmonious reality of the word Love. -WinterBe...