Konoha's Lost Kunoichi

The Lonely Man's Regret

The studying continued the next day. It wasn't something I was unfamiliar with. To be as strong as I am, I was always studying, practicing. I'd worked hard because I wasn't like most of the others, I wasn't like Sasuke.

They called him a prodigy, and that stands true. So when they called me that it was frustrating because no, no I'm not.

I spent years getting to where I am, sleepless nights and endless days. The only way to get stronger is to train and to study. Because knowledge is also power and I wanted to be powerful in all aspects, not just physical.

So I kept up with Kaname's teachings and these books, journals, scrolls. I made sure to engrave the words written into my soul.

But the one I focused the most on was Shoko Koga's journal. Because she was the closest to figuring out the most about this flawed Kekkei Genkai.

But also because Kaname kept this in perfect condition, even when his whole life became a drunken mess.

When he was living in a pigsty he kept this clean and neat. Is it because he never speaks of his past? The only time really was the first time we drank together. "Okay, that's enough of the study part. Come outside, I'll show you the other ways." He stood, breaking me from my train of thought and my reading.

I looked up at him to see that the dark rings that are ever present under his eyes are not as prominent as they were before.

I'm glad to see he's keeping up with the simple self care.

I stood and followed him outside. I thought we'd be behind his house but he continued walking deep into the forest. Still, he didn't stop and didn't speak. I trust him so I didn't either.

After a while we reached a clearing, right beside a cliff.

He turned to me and sat in . . . meditation position? "Um . . ?" I trailed off, looking at him strangely.

He looked at me as if I was tiring him, which made me want to strike him. The hell man? "Sit. The next part is going to be the mental part. Meditation is good for strengthening your mind and soul. And yes, I'm aware that makes me sound like a hippie. Shut up and do it." He grumbled irritably which made me laugh.

Of course that just made him glare harder at me. Whatever, not that big of a deal. I've done meditation. Because I've been trying to accomplish Sage Mode.

Which is hard to do when it takes time.

Time is something I don't really have a lot of.

I got into position and shut my eyes, taking a deep breath. "For now I want you to clear your mind." Kaname's voice was gruff as usual, but it drifted pleasantly in my mind. I did what he said and began to quell the turmoil in my head. Trying to drift into a state of wellbeing.

There's nothing there. It's calm, but it's dark. Meditating was something I could do a little easier in the past, back at the Leaf. Because I did have time and I didn't have much to worry or think about.

I remember it being the most peaceful thing. The blissful state of nothingness that calmed my emotional mind. But right now, it's not calming.

No, in fact it feels unpleasant. An uneasiness formed in the pit of my stomach and I tried to push past it. Come on Miyu. You need to calm down. Focus on your breathing.

As I tried once again to balance myself, a sharp image of somebody flashed before me.

It was Tsuyoshi. Covered in blood. But just as fast as he was there he was gone.

I clenched my jaw, trying to go past, but this time more people appeared. People I've killed. Their bodies broken and bloodied and their gazes filled with hate. They kept flashing in and out of the nothingness, making me twitch and flinch.